Avaritia
by nia-ox
Summary: Sequel to Luxuria. The repercussions from Jasper's actions at the wedding are revealed, and Bella and Edward try to go on with their future, but an army of twists are abound. Will they make it?
1. Turn Around

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own it!**

**AN – I know, I know, I left you guys hanging. You guys know how much I really love the angry reviews, and I couldn't help it! I knew that I was doing a sequel anyway, as others did.Oh, and this story is M for language, not for lemons – I wouldn't say that they are my forte! Well, why didn't you just put it in T and cut the language, I hear you ask! Well, that was my intention...until I realized that in this chapter, I really couldn't have Edward being so innocent. Sorry, confusing I know. And the Wales thing – I really couldn't help it, I had to stick somewhere I know in! So here goes; Avaritia. (latin for greed, as luxuria was latin for lust.)**

**SONG FOR THIS CHAPTER: Placebo – Running up that hill.**

This definitely wasn't how it was meant to happen. I wasn't meant to be spending my wedding night sitting on the edge of my husband's bed alone, crying my eyes out. I didn't have experience in the area, but I knew that he should at least be here.

But I understood why he wasn't; of course. Who _would_ be here, in fact? Who would have married me, anyway? I held my head in my hands, sobbing my heart out. It wasn't helping matters, but it was all I could do. I would normally have had someone comforting me, here, but no one was, tonight. No one cared enough to stay with me, I'd ruined that. And I deserved it.

My best friend and my husband were downstairs, arguing with my new family of vampires, about the events that had transpired at our wedding. Where my husband's brother – well, not _technically –_ and my best friend's husband had objected. I didn't blame poor Jasper, of course not. He was suffering enough, anyway. This was all my fault.

I couldn't control my stupid human emotions for a second, could I? I was inadequate, incapable, incessant, and a bunch more things starting with an I. But I wasn't innocent anymore, no. I shouldn't be anywhere near Edward. I should have listened to Jessica, no one was good enough for him. And if my stupid hormones weren't bad enough, I had to cheat on him with his brother.

And then I had to fall in love.

Yes, in love. I could say it, now. With the entire Cullen family shouting downstairs, in uproar because of me, I could admit it. I loved Edward and Jasper. Not in the same way, maybe. Edward was...familiar. He could still make my heart beat faster, and make me feel safe. But Jasper was amazing. I couldn't breathe around him, when I touched him I didn't want to let go; and I'd lost my virginity to him. I belonged to him. And when I said that, it didn't upset me like it did when Edward said I was his. No, it made me feel...amazing.

The door slammed downstairs, the force rippling through the house. I became aware that the shouting had quietened somewhat, though I couldn't hear through my own sobs. No one was coming, though. I wouldn't be comforted; and I didn't deserve it anyway. There was a large cracking outside, briefly excusing me from my streaming eyes and loud gasps.

I stood up, going to the window. A blinding white shape bolted across the dark expanse of the trees. I strained my eyes in the darkness I noticed that the trees were falling into oblivion. And the bolt of white was Jasper. There was something familiar about this situation, but I didn't know what.

Jasper continued to speed around the trees, throwing one into the next; snarling and shouting. Then, he fell to the floor, supporting himself on one of the trees he'd impaired. He looked up into the black sky, and I pressed my hands to the glass, yearning to touch him. He let out a long howl, and I felt a wave of pain shake through me as he began to sob without tears. The emotions spread throughout the house, and I heard gasps from downstairs, howls and cries. But I was fixed on Jasper, my relentless tears steaming up the glass. I saw my reflection briefly. I was still in my damp wedding dress. I gasped, and Jasper's eyes flicked up in seconds to meet mine. He didn't move, and neither did I. He sat on the ground outside, staring up at me, and he seemed to retract the emotions he'd been accidentally unleashing on us.

Once his emotions were snatched from my system, they were replaced with my own; and I felt worse instantly; my emotions crippling me physically as I fell to the ground, my body wracked with my overpowering sobs. When I looked back up from my spot on the floor, Jasper was gone. I knew he wouldn't see him now, though.

I continued crying through the night, slipping in and out of consciousness as my tears pooled and sunk into the soft carpet. It was the very early hours of the morning that I finally fell into a troubled sleep; haunted by nightmares, and so I didn't sleep for long.

When I woke up after a little sleep, it was 12 o clock, and I was back in bed. Edward had been and gone, obviously. I could smell his scent a little, on the bedclothes still. I crumpled them up and held them to my face.

The house was quiet. No one was arguing, obviously. That was good, but it meant that there was no one in the house to argue. Alice and Edward had probably left. Maybe Esme was here, but that would be all, at the very most.

I went into the bathroom, peeling off the sticky wedding dress that was glued to my body, and the undergarments. I looked a mess. I smelt of sweat and stale perfume, and faintly of old hairspray. My previously curly hair hung limp and loose around my shoulders, and my face looked like a horror movie. All traces of makeup had been removed from it violently in the floods of last night's tears, apart from the eyeliner and mascara that had been so carefully applied. That was in gunky lines down my face, and smudged around my swollen and bloodshot eyes. The one thing about me that was perfect were the rings on the third finger of my left hand. My engagement and wedding ring.

I sighed, stepping into the shower, under the warm flow of water. I let it wash away the top layers of dirt and the grime, before I started scraping vigorously at my skin, trying to rid myself of my inner filth, as well. It wasn't long before I couldn't hold myself together.

The tears began again, and I fell backwards onto the cold tile of the shower stall. It was once I pressed my ear to the shuddering tile that I realized someone was playing music.

I couldn't hear the words, only the pumping beat. It wasn't fast, but there was a heavy beat to the slow song. I cracked my head against the tile along with the beat, letting the tears stream down my face until the hot water began to run out. The song didn't stop, though.

I got out of the shower, reaching for a towel. I became aware that I didn't have any clothes. I went back to Edward's room in a towel, and found an outfit lying on the long black couch that I hadn't seen before. Alice had been here. I was surprised that she would even come near me.

I pulled it on reluctantly, the fashion pixie hadn't forgotten style even in her grief. I sat on the bed for a while, listening to the pump of music beneath me. I wondered who was playing it, and walked somberly down the stairs of the first floor. It was coming from Jasper and Alice's room. It wasn't something Alice usually listened to. I recognized it, after listening to it again outside their door, leaning against the wall. Placebo, running up that hill. _If I only could make a deal with God, and get him to swap our places..._

I thought back to last night. My wedding. I hadn't even thought of it properly since then, but I knew that I would have to now.

_Emmett laughed, having forgotten to ask if anyone objected. I smiled at him sympathetically, letting him know I didn't care. He asked if anyone did object and I waited in silence. Then, all of the Cullens visibly stiffened, and turned to Jasper. I looked at Edward, frowning. What was going on?! I turned to Jasper myself, and he had an unbelievably guilty look on his face as he locked eyes with me. He cleared his throat._

"_I object." The entire room gasped. His words sank in, and I tried to draw breath. Edward's fists were clenched together at his sides, his knuckles almost shining from the brilliant whiteness of bone protruding through his stretched skin. My breathing began to reach hyperventilation, the entire room silent. _

"_Oh." Emmett said, frowning. "What do I do, now?" Alice finally broke into sobs and ran out of the room, followed by Esme. I was fixed on Emmett's shoes, my shoulders violently shaking as I tried to control my erratic gasps of air. There was no oxygen in my lungs._

"_I'm sorry." Jasper said, giving Emmett the rings before he began walking out of the room. Edward snarled something low to him that I couldn't catch, and by now the room wasn't silent anymore. Everyone was murmuring, their shock blatant. I turned, watching Jasper go. I shook as I watched him go, breathing deeply. When he reached the door, he turned back to me and Edward at the end of the aisle. _

"_I'm sorry." He mouthed to me, and I became aware that there were silent tears streaming down my face. With that, Jacob got up from his seat, and left the room too. My body started shaking, and I turned to Edward. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were the deepest black as they bored into mine, reminding me of the hateful glare he'd given me when we'd first met in biology class._

"_Um..." Emmett began, but I was unable to divert my attention from Edward's monstrous gaze. "I don't really know what to do, now." He sounded lost, unlike his usual sure self. "Jasper left the rings, so do you two want to continue?" He asked quietly, as the murmuring began to quieten down. Edward cocked his head to the side, snarling sarcastically to me as he narrowed his eyes._

"_Well, do you, Bella?" I wiped the tears from my eyes._

"_Only if you want to." I whispered, my voice trembling, betraying me. He turned to Emmett and nodded._

"_Well, you've already done the vows." Emmett said. "So, if we do the rings?" I nodded, and pushed the ring onto Edward's hand once Emmett gave it to me. _

"_I love you." I said, looking up at his angry gaze. He pushed the ring onto my finger, but said nothing. _

"_You may now kiss the bride?" Emmett said, making it sound like a question. Edward nodded and kissed me, anger fueling it. A few people clapped briefly, and Edward let go of me. At that point, I should have been alerted by the growls from outside, but this didn't register until later. I smiled up at Edward timidly, hoping he'd return it. He didn't. He was focused past me, towards the door, concentrating on something out of my hearing._

_We signed the papers, and then walked down the aisle together, stiffly holding hands. A few people tried to smile at us, but I knew they thought it was lost. We were officially husband and wife, despite previous incidents. I gripped his hand tightly, and he cradled mine in his softly until we got back into the preparation room, where Alice was sitting in a corner dry sobbing with Esme's arm around her, and Jasper and Jacob were staring each other down._

_Edward let go of my hand, and turned to me. The anger was visible in his face, and I heard Carlisle turning the music on outside as our family and friends went to the reception. _

"_You slept with him." Edward said softly, barely containing his anger. I was terrified of him, more so than I had ever been. I backed slowly towards the closed door as he advanced._

_I didn't know what to say to him. Did I lie? Or did I tell him what he already knew?_

"_Yes." I whispered, closing my eyes as the tears ran from them. A cold arm wound around my neck and I opened my eyes. It was Jasper._

"_Don't you think you've done enough damage, leech?" Jacob sneered at him, flanking Edward. My body started shaking, and Jasper sent me a wave of calm, which I quickly shook off. I deserved this. I looked over at Alice in the corner, staring into space as Esme rubbed her arm. Rosalie stood next to her, a triumphant grin on her face. Jessica and Angela were huddled in the corner, curiosity and worry on either face._

"_I'm so sorry Edward." I said, reaching out to him. He shook his head. I recoiled, the tears flowing faster. "Alice, I'm-"_

_She looked up, her eyes narrowed. "Don't even bother." She got up and walked from the room, and Angela and Jessica walked after her. I was glad that they had gone, hiding the secret would have been harder. Rose and Esme stayed, Esme sitting quietly while Rose's smirk grew more pronounced._

_Jasper spoke up. "We didn't mean to do it, Edward. It was a lapse of judgment." I nodded vigorously, pleading to him with my eyes. But Edward's returning look was disparaging. _

"_If it was such a fucking lapse of judgment, then why the fuck are you thinking of it, now, Jasper?" I turned to Jasper, my eyebrows pulling together. "Yeah, thought so. She's my wife now. And you're still thinking about what you did to her." He was blaming Jasper for this? It was my fault. "What you two did," he took a deep breath, a look of disgust on his face, "was horrendous." I nodded, yearning to hold him. "It's something I'd say I could never forgive you for." I stole a glance at Jake and he was shaking his head at me slightly. It made me cry even more. "I will forgive you." I frowned at Edward, and reached out to him, touching his chest. "But not now." He flicked my hand away and walked back out the way that Alice had. I turned to Jasper, tears running down my face, forgetting Jacob was in the room, forgetting there was anyone other than us in the room._

"_Why?" I whispered, my shoulders slumping. He shook his head, looking down._

"_I don't know." _

_Jacob tapped me on the shoulder. "Sorry to drag you away from such a heart wrenching moment, but I need to speak with you." I nodded, ignoring his sarcastic tone._

_He pushed Jasper out of the way, and pulled me roughly through the opposite door, away from Edward and Alice. He led me outside, to the gardens of the hotel. It was raining, and we ran out to the gazebo, sheltered and secluded. _

_He waited for me to speak, but I was at a loss for words. Eventually, I choked out, "It's good to see you, Jake." He raised his eyebrows._

"_Not in this situation, Bella." He narrowed his eyes. "Though it's better than the one I saw, or should I say **heard** you in, last time." I frowned, closing my eyes, trying to calm myself._

"_What?" _

"_I heard you and Jasper having sex." My eyes flew open._

"_You what?!"_

"_I decided to go sniff around the Cullen house, see how you were doing. I figured your leeches wouldn't start a war because I'd broken the treaty. They're all too peaceful." I decided I wasn't in a position to shout at him for using such disparaging nicknames for my family, so I let him continue. "So I watched them go, and realized the calm one wasn't with them. He was with you." I nodded. "I had to hide when he brought you back from that meadow, but not on the way. He'd been too preoccupied with you that time. So then I got up enough courage to around to the front of the house later on, after you'd come back with him. Then I heard it." I looked down, choking back a sob. "I came to wish I didn't have good hearing. Then again, you were screaming so loud that maybe it was just my normal hearing." He said the last sentence with disgust. I began sobbing, and he put him warm arm around me awkwardly. "I thought I'd be the one to get the girl, not Edward." I rested my head on his chest, the warmth unfamiliar to me. "Little did I know there was a third wheel."_

"_It's all my fault." I gasped, choking a little. _

"_It's not all your fault, Bella. But it is your fault, somewhat." I nodded. He wasn't being hard on me, but I wasn't used to being told it was my fault. Even though it was._

"_How did he find out?" I asked, whispering._

"_I was shouting at Jasper about it, and about ruining the wedding...and Edward heard." I nodded. I thought I was going to be sick. _

"_Okay." I paused. "I hear you." _

_Jake frowned. "Bella, are you okay?" _

"_Not really." I whispered, getting up. "I think I'll go in, now." I paused, not wanting to hurt him as he stood up to join me. "On my own." He nodded, and I tried to glide gracefully down the steps, but I ended up tripping. _

_I didn't hit the floor; Jake was quicker, wrapping his burning arms around me. _

"_Thanks." I said, turning into his chest, unable to hold onto myself anymore. I crumpled in his arms, screaming into his chest. I hit him for all I was worth, unleashing my anger in the pouring rain. I didn't hurt him, he just tried shushing me, and stroking my hair._

"_Oh." A soft voice said, from the direction of the hotel. "I see." I looked up to see Edward standing there, looking very lost. And angry. _

"_So my brother wasn't enough for you?!" He growled. "You've got to have that mutt too!?" He stormed off, and I wrenched myself from Jacob's arms to follow him._

_Little did I know that the reception had been moved. I ran in, screaming and dripping wet, crying my eyes out._

"_EDWARD, PLEA-" I paused, as the entire room turned to look at me. I gasped, mouth agape as the entire room silenced suddenly, the band stopping abruptly. I didn't know where to go. Jasper walked up to me, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in the general direction of the exit._

_Once I was out of the door, I started screaming again for Edward, not sure where he was. Jasper pulled my dripping hair back and whispered in my ear,_

"_He's with Alice in the back room." I nodded, ignoring the shivers his touch brought up in me, and ran to the back room, opening to reveal a still sobbing Alice with Angela and Jessica at her arm, a smug Rosalie next to a confused Emmett and an angry Edward. My mother, my father, Phil, Carlisle and Esme stood together in a huddle talking in hushed tones. My mother gasped when I ran in, messy and wet. Alice stood up first._

"_BELLA, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR DRESS?" She ran up to me and started fluttering around it, mumbling that I'd ruined it. I sighed in relief, my sobs quieting a little. Maybe she didn't hate me. Then she stiffened abruptly, straightening up._

"_I think its fine." She walked back to Angela and Jessica and sat back down. I burst into sobs again, running over to Edward, crushing myself to him._

"_Bella, you're all wet." Edward objected flatly._

"_I know, but please, Edward! PLEASE! I can't live without you, I don't want to, I want to stay with you forever, please forgive me!" He wrapped his arms around me stiffly. _

"_We can talk about this later. We better go." _

"_Where?" I asked, confused._

"_On our honeymoon." I frowned up at him._

"_We're still going?" He nodded, and turned to Carlisle. "We better get packing."_

_Renee stepped in. "We can talk about this on the phone later, but don't worry. You guys can all set off, I'll finish up here once everyone's gone." I nodded, and thanked her. "It's what a mother should do." She said simply. It hurt me a little, but I tried not to flinch. I was still crying, anyway._

_We made our quick goodbyes and left, as I clung to Edward for dear life, sure he would leave again if I let go. When we all got out to the cars, Edward opened the door for me and I slid in. He closed the door behind me and walked away to the other car. I jumped out, quickly._

"_Where are you going?!" He turned back to me, his eyes once again black._

"_I can't ride with you. I think that'd be a better job for your favorite brother." He spat, turning away. I sunk back into the car and Jasper got into the drivers seat, while Rose got into the back with me._

_As we drove back to the house, I turned to her._

"_Are you happy, now?" My voice was a little high and croaky, hysteria and tears fueling it. She turned to me, an almighty grin on her breathtaking face._

"_You have no idea."_

"_Shut it, Rose." Jasper snarled, the wheels screeching as we turned into Forks. We'd be home soon. Now was not the time to go to Denali. _

"_What do you even know Jasper, you don't know what we're talking about." She retaliated._

"_Actually, I do. Bella told me. So just shut it, it's not the time." That did shut her up, and we drove in complete silence, apart from my mangled sobs, back to the Cullen home._

_When we got in through the door, Edward and the family were already there, arguing. I ran up to him, staggering, hoping that he would take me in his arms, forgive me. Do anything. But he didn't. _

"Bella?" I was yanked out of my memories by Jasper's voice above me. I opened my eyes and there he stood, looking no better than myself.

"Sorry, Jasper. I was just..."

He shook his head. "It's okay."

"Where are they?" I asked, unable to contain myself.

"They've got to set up the new house."

I frowned. "In Denali?"

He shook his head again sympathetically. "No, we're moving to the UK."

"They've gone to _the UK_?!" I screeched, unbelieving.

"Yes, to Wales, this little town called Llanrhidian." I had no idea what he was talking about. It was like pig latin.

"Where _is_ that?! What is that?!" My head whirled. We were moving to the UK?! I'd never been anywhere out of the US. And the Cullen family were already there? How were they there so quickly?

"It's in Swansea. That's in Wales."

"Oh. When will they be back?" He slid down the wall and sat down next to me, putting his arm around me.

"I don't know, Bella. They said I've got to take you to Alaska. We'll stay there until the house is done."

"Oh." I said, nodding infinitesimally. "Do Tanya and everyone mind that_ I'm_ coming?" They had been at the wedding, after all.

"Well, I'll be there so you'll be fine. It'll be fine, Bella. They'll forgive us." I nodded, not really seeing it. "We better start, Bella."

"Okay." I didn't move. Jasper waited.

"Bella, are you going to get up?"

"Do I have to?" I whimpered, resting my head on his shoulder.

"It'll get better, Bella." He said, stroking my hair.

"What if it doesn't though Jazz?" I cried, nearly in hysterics again. "What if Rose is right?! What if we've lost them?!"

"We haven't lost them, Bella." Jasper whispered into my hair, making me shiver.

"You can't know that." I said, pulling myself up with him. He hugged me briefly before we went back to our rooms, and he spoke so quietly that I wasn't sure if I'd even heard it.

"You're right. I don't know that."

**I like being back in the game, I think! You know the drill, review please!**


	2. Raining

**Disclaimer – Can you imagine owning Edward Cullen? I think if I did, I wouldn't be sitting here my loves.**

**AN –There were things I wanted to put in this chapter, but I'll have to fit them in somewhere else; I didn't want to spoil the sappy ending, and I know you guys'd be pissed off if I posted a huge cliffy! I can't believe I got so many alerts all from the one chapter- I opened up my inbox to find 147 emails on the first day! Thank you so much, all of you! Though, I've gotta say I'm kinda worried. Everyone thought it was amazing...I'm worried that I'll let you down with this chapter, as I know it isn't my best. Ah well. Onwards and Upwards, and thank you so much to those of you who believe in me!**

It wasn't long before we were on the road leaving the familiar town of Forks behind; at the speed Jasper drove, it wouldn't take us long to get to Denali. I could sleep on the way, after all.

We didn't talk a lot. The questions were short, the answers even shorter. Any pitiful attempts we made to engage in conversation were lost. The music on the radio was turned down to a should-be background noise volume, but with the awkward silence that filled the car, it seemed more like the music was blasting in a fashion that should earn us scoldings from the other motorists. We didn't earn any, we just continued to drive along at a breakneck speed. Jasper didn't even try to ease the atmosphere between us.

I had plenty of time to think, and I used it for many things. Ways to turn back time, ways to make Edward forgive me, ways to gain Alice's forgiveness. But every time I tried to broach the subject of either of them in the supposedly secure prison that was my mind, my emotions would give me away and Jasper would become aware of my distress, my guilt; and wouldn't leave a second pass before subduing me. He'd touch me, sometimes, to intensify the effect, so that my distress remained unfocused, unable to affect me.

What I couldn't ignore was the way I felt when Jasper touched me. A bomb exploded every time a mere centimeter of his icy skin came in contact with my heated body. It made me want to touch him, to be near him. I was near to him, close enough to touch him in the surprisingly cozy car, but I wasn't close enough. I'd never known anything like it. Not with Edward, not with Jacob...not with anyone.

I knew he sensed it, could feel the longing radiating off me, that he could feel every cell of my being yearning to be close to him, and that made the atmosphere awkward. We said little, and eventually, after hours of clenching my hands into fists, Jasper gave up and used his manipulative power to put me to sleep.

When I woke up, we were still driving, but it was dark. I didn't know how long we'd been driving for. The sky was taking on the appearance of an old bruise as the sun slipped away from the sky, inevitably towards the skyline. The yellows and purples slid into one another in a cascade of color as we drove on the empty, the entire scene all equaling to a beauty that was near indescribable.

"How long have I been sleeping for?" I asked Jasper, appalled at myself as I yawned; I'd slept for so long, yet I was still tired.

"A long time." Cryptic answers, of course. He closed the subject. I hoped the impulse to touch him wouldn't come back, but the more I thought of it, the more it crept back to me, my brain unconsciously pushing my fingers forward so that I could find the icy contours of his body under my fingertips. I distracted myself.

"I didn't know I was that tired."

"You weren't." Oh, great, the guy had practically drugged me so that he wouldn't have to put up with me. _The ultimate act of love_, I thought sarcastically. I was definitely cranky, for no apparent reason.

"Are we going to be there soon?" I pushed, drumming my fingers on the dashboard.

"Yes, in a few hours." I nodded. I continued to drum my fingers on the dashboard to an incessant, unknown beat.

"Do you mind?" Jasper asked, frustration coloring his tone.

"Sorry." I whispered, and slipped my hands back under my folded arms, pushing my elbows into my ribs.

Jasper was about to answer as his cell phone burst into life, an annoying bleeping. He sighed, and flicked it open. "What do you want now?" Indicating the caller had already been on the line. He sounded frustrated. There was a faint glimmer of hope in my soul; maybe I wasn't the one annoying him, maybe it was this persistent caller.

"No, we're not there yet. No, she hasn't. I will!" He paused, and I could hear the caller – a distinct male voice – blatantly hauling Jasper over the coals. Jasper's next sentence was snapped, and he was obviously at the end of his tether. "There's no need to call constantly, Edward!" It was Edward?! My heart leapt, but Jasper didn't acknowledge it. "I thought you didn't even want to speak to us, so why don't you just crawl back into whatever godforsaken hole you're in and carry on with the self pity like you always do. We've said sorry, what more can we do!?"

I nudged Jasper, questioning him with my eyes. Edward was shouting down the line, and I could hear his words quite clearly. I didn't want to acknowledge them, though. It hurt to know I'd hurt him. The line went dead, and all I could hear was mine and Jasper's heavy breathing, along with the cacophony of the rain battering against the car's surface and we sped along the wet, lonely road.

"You didn't need to be so harsh, Jazz." I said, as he clenched the wheel tightly, his white knuckles protruding through his translucent skin.

"Bella, he's been calling since you fell asleep to check up on us."

"Check up?" I whispered, hoping that my instincts were wrong.

"In his words, he and Alice wanted to check that we weren't having sex in the car at the side of a road somewhere." His voice began to soften, and I rubbed his arm comfortingly.

"I'm sorry, Jazz. You should have woken me up." He shook his head.

"I didn't want to scare you, or to take it out on you." He paused. "I already did that, though, didn't I?" I nodded a little, and rested my head on his shoulder.

"It's okay. I forgive you." I could afford to be generous, now I was where I'd wanted to be since we'd sat in the car. "I'll always forgive you, Jazz." I raised my head to look at him, feeling his gaze on me. He lowered his head slowly, and then pressed his cold lips to mine. I was careful to keep my hands to myself – he was driving after all.

"I'll always love you, Bella, you know that right?" I nodded. "I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry that I ruined it all. I could have- should have kept my mouth shut! I didn't even know what I was thinking. All I could think was that I loved you and I wanted you and that I _could_ think of a good reason for you and Edward not to get married – me! I've ruined everything for everyone, and I'm so, so, sorry."

My eyes were suddenly streaming, remembering the day. It seemed like a lifetime ago; though we hadn't reached that far in time away from that incident yet. It had far reaching consequences, though.

"It's okay, Jasper. It's my fault, too. I shouldn't have let it get that far. But...even though I feel guilty for hurting all of them..." I wasn't sure if I should finish that sentence. Jasper's eyes, no longer intent on the road, were fixed on me.

He gave me a minute, before his curiosity got the better of him. "Bella?"

"I just can't find it in me...I just don't...I can't make myself feel guilty about..." I sighed, and ran my hand through my hair. "I don't feel guilty for falling in love with you." I finished, and hung my head, pressing my back to the door of the car, distancing myself from him. I could feel the rain hammering down on the car window as I rested my head against it.

"You...love me?" His voice was surprised, shocked...and had an undercurrent of hope. Then again, it could have been despair. I pressed my lips together, along with my eyes. I couldn't see him now, I didn't want to know what expression I'd put on his face.

The exchange was quick; the next thing I felt was the car pulling over at the side of the empty road, and his lips pressed against mine passionately.

My eyes flickered open. "What are you doing, Jazz?"

"You love me." He said, relieving my lips from his. He was out in the pouring rain and around to my door instantly, swinging me out into the rain despite my protests.

"You love me, Bella! Do you realize what this means?"

"No." It sounded like a question.

"It means we're in love!" He laughed, and I laughed with him, feeling his joy as our clothes soaked through while we kissed in the pouring rain, on an empty road somewhere in Alaska.

**I'm not going soppy, I swear!**


	3. Denali

**Disclaimer – Hah, like I own it! Stop being silly billies. :)**

**AN – Did I get all of the Denali vamps in? Let me know!**

The heating was on full as we sped down the dark roads, the rain lashing at the car. The heat made it hard to think, but I knew there was something in the back of my mind waiting for the opportunity to present itself to me.

"Jasper, please turn it off, it's too hot!" He shrugged.

"You're wet, I don't want you to get ill."

"But it can't be helping my blood!" I exclaimed, hoping to find a suitable reason to turn off the heater – I was just about melting!

"You're blood's just fine, I should know." He answered coolly.

"That's what I meant!" I huffed, exasperated. "It can't be helping you."

"I'm fine." He answered just as coolly as last time; much to my frustration.

"I'm about to explode here Jazz!" He sighed and ran his hand up my leg slowly. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, my skin burning at his touch. If he was trying to distract me, that was definitely the way to go about it. I was nearing incoherency in my mind.

"Okay, I'll turn it off. You're dry enough, now."

"Oh, so that's what that was about." I tried to hide my disappointment.

"I may have had ulterior motives." He said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. I felt the familiar warmth in my chest as his affection for me became apparent again.

We lapsed back into a comfortable silence, the road flying away under our tires. I rested my head back against the seat and stared at the black ceiling, the darkness almost swallowing me. I dragged my eyes back to the road – I'd been trapped in that blackness before, I didn't want to go back.

"We're here." Jasper announced, before grinding to a stop outside an enormous house, the gravel driveway crunching under the wheels.

The house was unlike anything I'd ever seen. It was beautiful, the choir of flowers in the tiny front garden, and the house itself was breathtaking. It was like something out of a black and white film, almost. The stone bricks were a dark gray, and the wood on the porch painted to a mahogany brown. There were three floors, like the Cullen home, but it was a lot wider. It was a little disproportioned, but I thought it added to the charm.

"Wow." I breathed, looking at Jasper as he opened the door for me.

"Exactly my reaction when I first came here."

We ran up to the porch holding hands, sheltering from the rain. Jasper rang the doorbell, and my heart started beating at around 60 miles per hour.

"Jasper," I whispered, tugging at his wet shirt sleeve, "what if they don't like me?" I should have met them at the wedding, but I was otherwise occupied.

"You're fine, Bella. Of course they'll love you, you're Edward's wife!" I felt the familiar warmth spread through my chest, but it was quickly replaced by the nervousness I felt as I heard voices behind the door.

I cocked my head and scoffed. "Jasper, Tanya hates me because I'm Edward's wife, Irina hates me because the wolves killed Laurent for me, and the rest are going to hate me because I slept with- oh." Half of the Denali clan were standing by the door, beautifully inhuman and obviously harboring quite a hatred for me. I shifted my feet about a little, before greeting them. "Hi. I'm Bella." Eleazar, Carmen and Irina stood at the door, eyebrows raised.

"Hi, Eleazar, Carmen, Irina. Where are Tanya and Kate?" Jasper asked, letting go of my hand and pushing me through the door. I stood at the side of it, looking a little like a rabbit caught in headlights, I was sure.

"We're here." Tanya and Katrina were sprawled on the sofas, looking absolutely perfect even though they were in sweats – Juicy Couture, but they still had an unfair advantage. Tanya jumped over the side of the long red couch gracefully, and smiled sweetly at me. It stayed in place all the while she spoke, and eventually, it looked like a grimace.

"Bella! We've heard so much about you!" She carried on smiling and took my hand gently in hers, squeezing it a little and then letting it drop back to my side. "We hope you feel very welcome here." Jasper closed the door behind me and swung his arm casually around my shoulders.

"Bella's very tired, she didn't sleep much on the ride." Tanya's eyes widened in mock horror, but I was sure that her gaze was a little patronizing. I felt like a small child.

"I'm so sorry! We don't have any beds. There's a nice big couch in the back though, if you want to sleep there?" Tanya didn't wait for an answer, the females all stalked off and sat down fluidly on the sofa. Jasper nodded for me and thanked them before ushering me through the house with Eleazar, obviously sensing by my emotions that I was close to falling apart. I hated it here already, knowing that everyone hated me.

Jasper whispered in my ear as he walked human pace through the house with Eleazar out to the back where said couch was. "Hold it together, Bella. Just wait until we're there." I nodded, unable to speak or I would sob. We wound through countless corridors, and I was glad that vampires occupied this place. When I got lost, at least they would hear my pleas for help.

Once we reached the room, I was hardly breathing, realizing I would cry violently once I so much as parted my lips. Eleazar opened the doors to reveal a gorgeous neutral colored room – the walls were a soft cream to match the carpet, and a large desk holding a computer and numerous speakers occupied the corner. Similarly to the Cullen residence, the back of the house seemed to be glass; but once I looked again I found the back wall to be only sliding glass doors, that led out onto a vast emerald carpet of grass, surrounded by wrinkled trees that reached up into the dark sky. The rain was relentless.

Eleazar gestured to the long mocha colored couch on the opposite side of the room from the desk, with a kind smile. I knew that he was disapproving of me, though.

"Here you go, Bella. We can talk more in the morning, maybe." I nodded a little, while he continued. "Jasper, we'll be in the lounge whenever you want to join us."

"I won't be, sorry Eleazar. I'll stay with Bella tonight." Eleazar frowned, before nodding and walking out. Jasper walked up to the door and closed it, allowing me to flop onto the long couch. "It's okay, Bells. They're far enough away, now." He walked back to the couch and put his arm around me. I nodded, and finally opened my mouth. The sobs came tumbling out, and I shuddered from the force as my tears spilled over.

I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn't. It would hurt Jasper. I cried more, before Jasper finally calmed me and asked me what was wrong.

"I can't tell you." I breathed. "They'll hear me." Jasper turned thoughtfully to the glass door.

"Do you mind the rain?" I shook my head. Jasper turned the latch and pushed the door open effortlessly – despite how heavy it had looked to me. I let the rain wash the salty tears from my face, realizing that had you told me when I'd first come to Forks that by the time I left, I would love rain, I would miss the greenness and that I would marry into a vampire family, I don't think that I would have believed you.

"What is it, Bella? You can tell me, you know. And they won't hear us over the rain."

"They hate me!" I sobbed, breaking through Jasper's calm barrier that had been placed around my emotions. He gathered me up in his arms.

"It's not just that, is it?" I shook my head, closing my eyes and letting the tears merge with the rain.

"I just thought...I just thought the first time I met Tanya...Edward would be there to hold my hand." I sobbed again, and he nodded knowingly. "And he's not here!" I sobbed, clinging to his freezing body as the rain pelted down on us and our feet sunk into the now muddy grass. As long as I closed my eyes, I could pretend that I was with Edward in some ways.

"We've been out in the rain too much, today." Jasper smiled, and pushed my dripping hair back from its plastered position on my forehead. "Let's go in, you should sleep." I nodded and we trooped back in.

I took off my muddy boots quickly, not even pausing to look at them, and curled up in a wet ball on the soft couch. My mind tossed and turned, traveling in useless circles. I hated it here, already. And what did I have when I got back to wherever we were going? A husband who hated me? A family that was destroyed? There must be something else to do, I was sure of that.

When sleep overcame me, I was already inventing a plan.


	4. All I Know

**Disclaimer; don't you know it by now?**

**I don't think this is my best writing. I like the running, but that's about it. I'm sorry it's not up to scratch, guys. I've not been feeling myself, lately. That's all. **

**Song for this chapter is Nobody's home, by Avril Lavigne.**

Morning came around sooner than I wanted it to. My plan had more shape to it now, and I knew what I would do, when the time came.

I knew it wasn't really a plan, it had so little substance, but it was all I had – all I knew. I learnt from Edward, after all. I thought back over all the times he'd done it – ran away. I listed them off inside my head, grateful that my mind was impenetrable.

Biology – when he met me, he ran.

James - when he was after me, we ran.

_That_ time – when he couldn't stay with me. He ran.

So why should this be any different? I had, of course, factored in Alice. I kept on changing my mind every few minutes; she wouldn't get any glimpse of it, not properly. Not that she was looking, anyway. I wasn't of importance anymore.

Tanya and the rest of the Denali vampires tortured me for the next few days after I'd arrived at their home. They were all smiles to my face, and presumably behind my back. It was worse than any glares they could have sent my way, knowing that they were pretending so heavily.

I never came too close to any of them. I would constantly retreat to the back room, only leaving when I had to. Jasper stayed in the nights, stroking my hair and whispering to me that we'd be with them soon. As if he wasn't enough.

It was the seventh day we'd been in Denali, and the seventh day without a call that I finally gave up. I couldn't stay here, anymore, waiting for a call that would never come. I couldn't stay here, anymore, while the Denali coven were so sickly sweet, showering me in fake kindness. I couldn't stay here, anymore, knowing that I was hurting Jasper.

I knew that it wasn't only here I couldn't stay. I would have to disappear altogether. I wouldn't kill myself, of course not, but I would run away. I would take myself off the map, I would run to where no one could find me...

and it would be so easy.

I had already put my plan into action.

Every day, rain or shine, cloud or blue sky, I would tell Jasper that I was going to walk in the woods. Every day, I would go a little further, take a little longer to come back. So by the end of my stay at the house, Jasper didn't think anything of it, that I told him I'd be going for a walk in the woods.

I'd gradually taken most of my belongings that I had with me to the forest – only a few items of clothing – and so I was prepared to leave. I did it with a fire in my heart, wanting to stay, and not wanting to leave my entire life behind. But I did it.

* * *

"Jasper, I'll be back later, okay?" He nodded, knowing where I was going. He didn't even entertain the notion that I wouldn't be coming back.

"Enjoy, Bella." I nodded and smiled at him, then walked out into the garden, closing the glass door behind me. I kept my usual walking pace until I reached the forest, then I sped up a little, waiting until I was well out of sight, and until I had my bag safely around my shoulders. Then I ran.

I had never been a good runner, I fell over too much. And because of my balance problems, I was terribly unfit. I breathed heavily, my legs flailing as the ground sped past beneath my feet. I had been told that running from something gave you a burst of adrenaline. I didn't feel that, now. I just wanted to get away.

I heard no footsteps behind me as I ran, just my own stumbling, staggering steps; my own shallow breathing as a stitch made itself present in my side. I realized that I was wearing the ankle boots Alice had bought me. They had a built in heel, because she wanted to wean me into heels, apparently. Thinking of her started the tears, those that would take an infinite amount of time to run their course.

I constantly felt as if I was about to fall over, as if I was leaning too far over an edge. I collided with the floor finally, before I got back up and began running again. It continued like that as the dark forest encircled me. _Don't go into the woods alone._ I missed Edward so terribly, the security of his arms, everything about him. I wondered why I didn't want Jasper, now.

Eventually, I made it out of the dense forest, bleeding and exhausted. I'd fallen over countless times, twisting my ankles until they were severely painful and my hands and knees were scraped raw.

I didn't know how far I'd come, or how long it had taken. I turned around and looked into the forest again. It was black and gloomy and I decided now that I was out, I wouldn't be going back.

I hoped that I had successfully removed myself from their lives, not there to cause hurt anymore. I really hoped, wished with all my might, that that was right. It was a foolish hope, admittedly. Running away from a vampire family to somewhere that may or may not be close to the place where one of them resided wasn't likely to be successful. Especially when that vampire and I loved each other and he was likely to come looking for me.

I was struck out of my thoughts in an instant. I had become so used to the warm feeling of love spreading through me that its absence was blatant. Where was it? Did this mean I didn't love Jasper anymore? I was so confused. I knew one thing, though; I wanted Edward to be here.

"Oh, Bella. You really shouldn't have tried." The velvet voice that I would always recognize was low in my ear as freezing arms wrapped around my waist.

I rejoiced as the warm feeling came back. "Edward!" I spun around, ignoring my protesting limbs.

It was Jasper.

So much for knowing the voice anywhere.

"No, Bella." He chuckled. "But they are coming back." I sighed, content in Jasper's embrace again. He swung me up into the cradle of his arms and began running back where I'd come.

"Does that mean we're going to this UK place, now?" I closed my eyes and frowned, snuggling further into his chest as the wind whipped my face.

"No, change of plan. Turns out Carlisle miscalculated – it's a pretty sunny place during the summer." I nodded. "We're going to stay here in Denali. They'll be back in a few days."

I nodded, contenting myself in his arms as I felt his steady breathing. The run took us around 15 minutes until we were walking back through the Denali coven's garden, and I was shocked at how far I'd come. Jasper sensed this.

"You did run quite a way, I'm surprised." He paused, concentrating, then added casually, "we'll need to clean your cuts, once we get in, too."

I started. "Oh, I'm so sorry Jasper! I can walk the rest of the way, you can't be this close to me!" He shook his head.

"Bella, you can't walk, and anyway, we're not going back to Tanya's house." I frowned.

"Where are we going, then?"

"To our new house. I know you hate it with them. Our things are already there." I nodded. He ran unnecessarily up to the house and opened the glass door to the room we'd previously occupied.

"Tanya, Bella's fine. We're off to the house now. Thank you for everything!" He spoke at a normal level, aware that Tanya would hear. I didn't ask where the others were. He closed the door, turned around again and started running.

After he ran for mere minutes, we appeared in a large field – which I recognized as a garden – with a house in front of us. The first thing I noticed was the size of it – it was smaller than mine and Charlie's home! I had no idea how the Cullens would all fit in this little house. The bricks were red, and the roof black. It was very conventional, and looked homely. I wondered how many houses would become my home now that I was part of the Cullen family.

After Jasper had run with me into the house and set me down on a cream leather couch, he turned around and locked the door we'd so hastily come through.

"What are you doing?" I asked, rubbing my sore ankles.

"The rest of the coven were hunting; I was worried they would accidentally catch your scent."

A thrill of fear ran through me. "Oh. Okay." He sat down next to me, and inspected my ankles briefly, before running off to the direction of what I assumed was the kitchen.

He was back quickly with ice for my sprained limbs and a wet washcloth for my cuts.

"You're too good to me, Jasper." I smiled weakly as he pressed the ice to my ankles.

"Don't be silly, Bella love. You deserve it." I felt a thrill through my body as I heard him call me love. He felt it, too, I was sure, because he pressed a soft kiss to my lips barely a second afterwards.

"We need to do your cuts now, Bella," he pressed the washcloth to my bare knees gingerly, having discarded my jeans. It stung – and I suddenly recognized the smell of antiseptic.

I winced and let out a low hiss.

"I'm sorry, darling, it won't hurt for long." I felt the same thrill, again, and as he gently cleaned my cuts, he placed a soft kiss on each hand.

I couldn't believe that merely months ago, Jasper and I barely spoke, rarely came in contact with each other physically...and now all that had changed. My entire life had changed.

The antiseptic was beginning to take effect, and the open flesh sizzled. I drew breath sharply. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"No, Jasper. I'm the one who should be sorry; this is unnecessarily hard for you, I should do this myself."

"This doesn't bother me, you know." He smiled.

I suddenly remembered Edward's similar words when he was cleaning my cuts a few months back as we left a trail for the newborns. I missed Edward terribly, I knew that much. I, of course, loved him, too. I sighed in despair- I knew Edward loved me, but would I ever get him back?

Jasper pressed his lips to mine again with more fervor. We became more engrossed in the simple kiss than we would have usually condoned, especially when I was in such a compromising situation.

I knew I loved Edward, yes. But as the feelings in the room escalated, and Jasper and I cemented our love for the second time, I wondered did that matter, now that I had Jasper?

_**I think I'm a bit of an idiot. I need to post better chapters.**_


	5. Right now

**Disclaimer – (I've read this on a few other fanfics, and couldn't help using it! Very very sorry if you made this up . )**

_**Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't own Twilight, so you can't sue!**_

**AN - Thanks for your reviews, guys. You always have faith in me, it really picks my day up! Which is why I've tried to get this up to being a longer chapter& to be out quicker. **

**Song for this chapter: Because I want you - Placebo**

* * *

I was beginning to think Edward had been lying, all this time. Him and his excuses that he could hurt me, that it could push him over the edge... It was all a bunch of lies, I was sure.

I mean, Jasper had even less control than Edward, and we'd gone dangerously further than where Edward and I had been...what was the problem? I even had open wounds, right _now_, and Jasper didn't seem to be having much of a problem.

If I didn't know better, I'd have thought he was sleeping – his breathing was even but he was as still as a statue. Not wanting to disturb his peacefulness, I pushed my eyes to the corners of my vision until I could see him, wrapped around my right side. His face was buried in my neck as he smelt my sure-to-be-sweaty mess of hair contentedly.

I had to admit, it was nice. Having someone cling to me and wrap their arms around me. Having someone wanting me in _that_ way.

_Edward's always wanted you that way. You were just too cruel and cold hearted to wait_!

The Team Edward troopers contradicted. I sighed mentally. I thought I was rid of the whole 'battle-in-my-head' thing! But it was true. I was married now, and I should be channeling all of my energy into gaining absolution from my amazing husband. A husband that I hadn't even touched for more than a fleeting second since we exchanged our vows.

Jasper was here, though. Always. Such a cliché, but though it was wrong, it felt so right. Part of me screamed to stay away from him, but the other was already planning our next kiss... it was such a vicious circle.

I looked around the dark room. I wondered when we'd turned the lights off, not really caring. I took a good look at the room, realizing that I'd been so completely absorbed in the planes of Jasper's ice white body that I hadn't even taken a second glance at the house that we now occupied. It was hard to see in the dim gloom - it was the early hours of the morning - but I did my best. The floor was wooden; I remembered Jasper's heavy footsteps echoing from the floor to the walls as he carried me in from the forest. The room was a light cream and terracotta – the one facing the couch we occupied the dark terracotta and the other enveloping us cream.

The room was split in half – a lounge that the family would more than likely occupy on a daily basis. I still didn't understand its size; it looked better fitting for a human family of three. I recognized one thing in the room; the same sixty inch plasma TV that stood in the Cullen home in Forks. Curiously, it definitely wasn't the same one.

After Edward had broken the first one, Emmett had bought its predecessor. And while Jasper and Emmett were wrestling during one of Esme and Carlisle's infrequent absences, said predecessor had received a mighty blow, leaving the right corner of the TV screen a little sunken in.

There was something that echoed from every inch of the room, reminding me of myself during _that_ barren time in my life. Emptiness screamed from every corner. I gave the windows a fleeting look, hoping that I wouldn't find them dark and empty as my eyes had once been. I felt the blood rush up to my cheeks as I saw the steam slowly dissipating, a reminder of the exhausting love making that had just transpired. I thought the whole steam thing was just a myth, or something. I blushed and pulled the blanket further up my chest, not bothering to find out where it had so suddenly appeared from.

Yes, I was sure Edward was lying. There was definitely something he wasn't telling me; Jasper had very poor control, and he and I had been fine both times we'd had sex.

"What are you thinking about, beautiful?" Jasper's soft words startled me, and I stiffened under his touch. It was so easy to become lost in the secure maze of my thoughts.

"Nothing, really." I said, shifting my position on the slippery couch to face him.

"Define nothing."

I sighed. "I was thinking about Edward lying to me."

"Lying to you?" His eyebrows raised.

"Well, you and I have had sex twice now Jasper," he nodded, giving me a cheeky smile. "And you haven't lost control. But Edward kept on telling me that he'd lose control if he slept with me. He must have been lying."

Jasper surprised me by looking sheepish. "Um, I can sort of explain that."

"You can?" I braced myself; I knew from the look on his breathtaking face that this obviously wasn't good.

"Well, Edward wasn't lying – he could lose control while being that intimate with you. But I haven't lost control because," he paused, seemingly at a loss for words. "Because, well, after what happened on your birthday...I decided I needed to perfect my control. I wanted you to forgive me, and I figured the closer I was to you, the better." He smirked. "I never thought it would be _this_," he ran his cold hand up my overheated thigh, "close, though."

I was now the one at a loss for words. "You did what? You controlled, your-your what? I don't understand!"

"Well, I spent the months we were away testing myself. And I've found that I'm pretty controlled, now."

I suddenly felt guilty for not trusting Edward. "Well that's good!" I put on a bright tone.

"It's okay, Bella. You didn't know. In fact, let's just forget about it. I've got the house to show you!"

I nodded, and got up, leaving the blanket behind with Jasper – intending to make a quick exit and dash to the shower.

It was a shame I didn't know where said shower was.

"Um, Jazz?" I turned around.

"Mmm?" His eyes were glazed, raking all over my body.

"Where's the shower?"

"Mmm?" He continued to lap up my bare form greedily, and I felt my cheeks turn a deep red as I blushed.

"Jasper! Where is the shower?" I asked, clapping my hands in front of his face.

"Oh! Sorry!" He closed his eyes, and I stifled a laugh. "Go up the stairs, the second door on the right is the master bedroom, and then there's a shower in the en suite."

"Okay. I won't be long." I smiled, and turned around, dashing out of the room before he had a chance to open his eyes.

I managed to get up the carpeted stairs without incident, and through to the master bedroom. The bathroom wasn't the same story, though – I slipped on the smooth floor of the shower, despite it being dry and seemingly unused.

I washed quickly, anxious to get back down to Jasper, though I couldn't really rush. I was covered in a glistening sheen of sweat and my cuts would have to be attended to once I got out. And I'd have to find clothes. I sighed, angling my face until the jetting water catapulted down on my face, washing away the dirt. I sighed, washing my hair with my usual shampoo – that curiously happened to be placed on the ledge around the base of the shower floor. I got out of the shower and saw he'd left a towel on the radiator for me. I smiled and wrapped it around my dripping body.

I decided to venture back into the master bedroom, and I examined its interior carefully. There was something familiar to this room, a protruding memory in the back of my consciousness. I tried to reach for it, but it remained in the same semi-obscured state, and I decided I would ask Jasper about it later. The carpet was the same soft pink that covered the upstairs floor of the house, and despite it not matching anything in the gorgeous cream room. The walls were a soft mocha on one side; the other wall a delicate cream – though it was lighter than downstairs. There was a suede hanging on the wall above the bed, which was clad in a plain cream duvet. The curtains matched the bedding, and again, I felt the same familiarity – like a word on the tip of your tongue, the memory refused to make itself present.

I walked to the wardrobe, hoping by some miracle that there would be clothes inside it. There were two wardrobes – the first filled with men's clothes, and the second filled with women's. After I had opened the second, I pulled out a few garments. I was shocked to find that they were _my_ clothes, the ones that Alice had packed and supposedly taken to the new house. There were plenty more outfits that I hadn't seen before in there – courtesy of Alice, I was sure.

It unsettled me that this house seemed to be ready to accommodate me – not just anyone, but _me_.

I pulled an outfit out – everything attached to one hanger, miraculously. Upon looking, I found underwear in the top drawer. I pulled on the dark skinny jeans, pleased with them. Alice really had begun to understand my sense of style, I guessed. The jeans were low rise and quite snug, but they were incredibly comfortable. I decided instantly that they were my favorite pair – whatever the price tag had been. There was a baggy stripy top still residing on the hanger – navy blue and cream. The sleeves were three quarters, and there was a cord to tighten the hem of the top at the bottom. Alice had attached a messy gold necklace and cream bracelets to the hanger in a neat pouch.

I felt a distressing pang – she planned things so carefully, caring for everything she knew I would need, even though I hadn't asked. She was so thoughtful. I missed my best friend.

How could I have let this get so out of hand? I'd lost everything. I sighed, knowing now was not the time for repenting, putting on the navy ballet flats that Alice had left for me. I trudged downstairs to find Jasper sitting half naked on the leather couch, the blanket wrapped around his bottom half. The room had been cleaned by him, blatantly - our hastily thrown away clothes were now in neat piles on the chair.

"Finally!" He exclaimed teasingly. "I thought you'd be up there forever!"

I resisted the urge to poke my tongue out at him. "You better get up there yourself, mister."

He complied and dashed upstairs, taking a mere 5 minutes and returning back down dressed in a new set of clothes.

"Jasper, I need to ask you something." I said, sitting down on the couch. I hadn't moved since he'd gone upstairs, trying to plan what I would say.

"Shoot, babe." He smiled, sitting down beside me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Um...well, it just seems like this house..." Should I continue?

"Go on, darling, I'm listening." He pushed, feeling my uncertainty.

"Well, it just seems like this house is well, fitted exactly for me – I mean it's got all my clothes here and it's got my shampoo and things here...and I was wondering why that is."

He looked a little awkward. "Well, originally...this house is for you and Edward. This is where you were going to live, separately from the rest of the family. It was meant to be a surprise for you."

"Oh. That explains the men's clothes in the wardrobe..." I trailed off, wrapped up in an image of myself and Edward, living here from day to day, facing married life and the future together. Endless immortality.

Jasper brought me out of my reverie with a short peck on the lips, and I felt a surge of love from him. "I was hoping that Edward wouldn't mind me wearing his clothes."

"Well I doubt it, considering you're sleeping with his wife – why not share everything?" Alice's sharp voice came from the doorway – and it popped the comfy little bubble we'd been sitting in together.

"Alice!" I stood up, rushing over to see the rest of the Cullens in tow. "What are you all doing here?" I could barely disguise my relief that they were home. That they were with me, that they were here! Edward stepped forward, and I let out the breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"Oh, sorry, were we interrupting something? If you want, we can go, leave you to it?" His voice was harsh. I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me.

"Now, Edward." Carlisle cautioned. "I'm sure Bella didn't mean it like that. It's probably a shock to see us so soon. I'm sure both Jasper and Bella are happy to see you both." I nodded vigorously, as did Jasper.

"Aren't you going to come in, properly?" I asked, tugging Edward by the hand and sitting with him on the couch. Jasper followed us with Alice as the rest of the Cullens trooped in, looking radiant.

I was a little at a loss for words.

Then, Alice started laughing. Manically. I turned to her, my eyebrows pulling together in confusion. The rest of the family were giving her the same confused look. Apart from Edward. He looked deadly.

"Alice, love, what's wrong?" Jasper said, stroking her face. I clung tighter to Edward.

She continued laughing, struggling to form words around it. She was almost hysterical. "You...you have the nerve...the nerve to call me love...when you and her had...you and her had sex on this couch barely a few hours ago!" She had calmed by the end of her sentence, and was now glaring daggers at Jasper.

I heard Esme's sharp intake of breath from across the room before she exited, flanked by Carlisle, and I dug my fingers tighter into Edward's hand – daring him to leave.

He got up first. "That's it." He growled. "We're leaving." I jumped up, clinging to his arm like a lost child.

"No! No, you can't leave! I won't let you!" I dug my stubby nails even harder into his marble arm; wrapping myself around him like a boa constrictor.

"No, I mean we're leaving. You and Me. Not. Anyone. Else." I blinked furiously at him, trying to make sense of his words. He turned to the others. "We'll be in touch."

With that I was over his shoulder, speeding out into the pouring rain and into his beloved Volvo.

"Where are we going?" I whispered, looking through the darkness at his illuminated features.

"I don't know. But we're not staying here, Bella." I reached out to him.

"What's this all about?" As the car swerved down the driveway, he turned to me sharply.

"We're having our wedding night."

"We're what?" We were having our wedding night? As in, our _wedding night?_

"I love you. I need you. I want you right now." His voice made my knees weak.

"But everything that's happened?" I hated bringing it up.

"Exactly. I think it's my turn now, don't you?"

I didn't have enough air in my lungs to answer.


	6. Control

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot – and the annoyingly nasal receptionist. I really do wish I owned Edward and Jasper, though :**

**AN – Thanks for all your reviews last time, guys – I was nearly doubled up at the amount of people who were worried Edward was going to rape Bella! No, Edward wouldn't do that – you should know by now that he couldn't hurt Bella that much, no matter how much she's hurt him. He wants to snap her out of it, for her to see that it's him she loves, and not Jasper. Because Carlisle has a theory! :O**

**And, **** the ****Denali Bluffs Hotel **_**DOES **_**actually exist – I did a little research, don't ya love me? I know that everyone is probably expecting a lemon in this chapter; but I'm not exactly sure how happy people will be with them being together – the Jasper/Bella shippers may impale me : So it's just a little reference, I guess.**

**I know this is a very short chapter, and I apologize, I wanted to get this out to you guys asap cause I know you guys hate cliffies – the next one will be longer, so it'll take longer to write.**

* * *

"But Edward? I thought you said that you didn't want to do _this_ in reaction to anyone?" I pushed again, not wanting him to make a mistake.

I wanted to do this, definitely. Admittedly, there was a little voice in the back of my head screaming "Whore!" at me. Curiously, it was the voice of my _favorite_ Forks companion – Lauren.

Despite this, I wanted to be close to Edward more than anything in the world. But I knew that once it was over, said and done, that Edward would regret for our first night (or day, considering it was early morning) to be fueled by jealousy.

"It's not in reaction to anyone, Bella." He reached one hand over from the wheel and touched his cold fingertips to my face. "I want to bring you to your senses. I love you, and I know you love me too – don't you?"

I nodded vigorously. Of course I did - how could he doubt that? Okay, that was a stupid question.

"But still, Edward. Of course I want to do this – I've _always _wanted to do this. I love you and I don't want our first night_ together _to be because of Jasper."

"Bella, tell me something." Edward sounded like he'd calmed down a little by now – not that I didn't enjoy Edward when he was all sexy and possessive. It reminded me of that time in the meadow when he'd said similar words to me.

"Anything." I was going to regret saying that.

"Do you love Jasper?"

Definitely regretting it.

"I mean, right now – sitting here with me, do you love Jasper?"

We sat in silence, for a minute. I wanted to tell Edward what I'd found in my heart as much as I wanted to deny it for Jasper's sake.

"No, Edward. Sitting here right now I cannot find any part of me that is in love with Jasper."

He reached over and pressed his lips to mine passionately, and I felt all the air rushing from my lungs. "Exactly. We're here."

He was out of the car and unbuckling me before I had a chance to blink. Picking me up, bridal style, he strode into the Denali Bluffs Hotel – Edward had driven at the speed of light to get us there.

"Oh!" The blonde receptionist – that had been busy filing her nails – jumped up, alarmed at our entrance. I didn't miss the fact that she popped open another button on her shirt as she did it.

"Best suite you've got, please." Edward's voice was low and husky – I was glad I was in his arms, or I would have been at his feet – it made my knees go weak.

It obviously had the same effect on the receptionist, but Edward threw his credit card at her before she had a chance.

She tugged a key down from the hook on the wall, and put it on the desk. "Well, our bridal suite on floor-"

Edward didn't give her a chance to finish; he sped over to the stairs and up them before her unpleasant nasal voice could even begin to offer him his credit card back.

We were up in the room instantly, and my lips were glued to his. My breathing was shallow – and embarrassingly loud, though I didn't really care enough to do anything about it.

He dropped me down, but carried on supporting my weight; while pushing me backwards in his arms, towards the bed. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pushing my open lips to his with as much force as I could muster. His cold breath in my mouth swirled around me as I began to lose control. There was definitely no going back, now.

He lowered me down onto the bed gently but I didn't relinquish my hold on him. I was almost past the point where coherent thought would be out of the window. I knew it had never been like this.

"Edward," I gasped, "tell me now, are you sure you're going to do this? Because if we go much further then there is no way I'm coming back."

He continued trailing kisses down my neck, before growling against my skin, "Never been more sure of anything."

I nodded, unable to form words. His lips were practically bonded to my skin now - I was sure I'd feel a great loss once they were gone.

I couldn't wait any longer, that was for sure. I yanked at the buttons of his shirt and felt him laugh against my jaw.

"Edward, please!" I gasped, and before I knew it my shirt was over my head, thrown somewhere behind him. His shirt was gone, too; revealing the endless planes of his muscular white chest. His eyes were coal black with hunger – though I knew it wasn't for my blood.

"I love you so much, Bella." He whispered huskily in my ear.

"I love you too." I gasped, pressing my lips to his one more time before we were lost in each other, securing our love indefinitely.

* * *

It was around 1 o clock in the afternoon when I woke up to Edward's cold and comforting arms around me. I sighed and rubbed my eyes, before turning around in his arms to face him.

"Hello beautiful." He whispered, wiping my sweaty hair from my cheek. I was hardly beautiful – I looked a mess. I tried to ignore the fact that Jasper had said the same to me in a practically identical situation.

He pulled me closer to his bare body and I snuggled into his cold chest, resting my head on the crook of his shoulder; reveling in his touch. I'd missed him so much.

It was a comfortable silence, but I felt the need to fill it, even though it was in a whisper. "I always told you that you wouldn't lose control." I smiled.

"I know you did. I love you, Bella." He said, smoothing my hair down.

"I love you too, Edward." I paused. "I'm so, so sorry."

"I know. We'll talk about that later. We'll talk about everything, later. I just need to be with you, now." I nodded, and pressed my lips to his chest, inhaling his scent.

"Why are we whispering?" I asked, tracing the contours of his chest lightly with my index finger.

"I'm not exactly sure. We made plenty of noise earlier, so I guess we're making up for it." He chuckled, and I smiled.

I couldn't find it in me to be embarrassed, not yet.

We lay like that for a while, before Edward got up, telling me that we had to shower. Neither of us had spare clothes, so we just wore the same thing as yesterday – though I had to go without underwear because Edward had ripped them to shreds in his haste. At least my favorite jeans were still intact. I would have to remember to thank Alice for my clothes, too.

Once I got out of the shower, Edward pulled me to sit with him on the huge bed.

"I really don't want to do this." He whispered, sounding like a small child.

"Do what?" I asked, looking up at him.

He pressed his lips to mine, and I closed my eyes. His lips were gone before I had a chance to deepen the kiss, but I kept my eyes closed; because now I knew what Edward didn't want to do.

"Bella," he sighed, "we have to talk."

I nodded.


	7. Deny

**Disclaimer – If I owned Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Jasper I very much doubt I'd be sitting here. (I'd be too busy making Jasper do a naked scarf dance! (Yes, I've been watching 'friends'!))**

**A.N. - Well, I'm glad that most of you are happy about the reunion! And now...IT'S TIME FOR THE TALK! I'm in a very weird mood today – as you'll be able to tell with me weirdly random AN! **

**Also, I got a bit bored writing this so I decided to jot down some of mine & friends' ideas so once that's all sorted I'll have it up as a new story. (not a one shot, shock horror!) (Have to think of a name, first!) **

**I'll leave you to it, then! **

**(And to those of you who have read The Host, find the bit I borrowed!)**

**Also, the theories appear, here. **

**I'd like to thank _Ava-Night_ because I'm using her actual wording from her review for one of Carlisle's theories. Also, a humongous thank you to _nothingleft_ for supplying me with Carlisle's main theory – and countless numbers of you who have reviewed and given me your theories, too. **

**So yes, a huge thank you there.**

**READ ON, MY BEAUTIES! (like I said, weird mood today!)**

**Song for this chapter – Aly& AJ – Chemicals React**

* * *

We got home quickly, unfortunately. I would have preferred laying in bed with Edward all day at the hotel. But I knew we'd have to talk eventually, and return to the house of horrors.

I managed to work myself up so much about what would be greeting us at the house that Edward had to pull over before we got there to convince me everything would be fine, and that he loved me. It didn't help a lot.

Once we did get to the house, I found it was worse than anything I'd been imagining. Carlisle and Esme were standing up at the corner of the room, arms folded and frowns in place; Rosalie was sitting on Emmett's lap, smirking, while Emmett looked around worriedly; and Jasper and Alice were sitting on the couch next to each other cautiously, barely touching. Jasper had his hand on her knee, but she seemed to be flinching away from it a little.

When we walked in, all eyes flashed straight towards us. I flinched and backed up into Edward a little, like a scared animal. Rosalie was shooting daggers. No one said anything, as we stood in the doorway.

But Emmett, being the lovable dope of the family, tried to ease the tense atmosphere.

"So, wearing the same clothes as yesterday! Get lucky, Edward?"

I blushed furiously.

"You did! Eddie, welcome to manhood. Beer's in the fridge!" Emmett snickered, in his own little world.

Rosalie grimaced, as though repulsed, before glaring at me. "Whore."

"Now Rosalie, that's enough!" Carlisle reprimanded her – his voice as always, level.

Alice continued sitting, staring into space, and Jasper...

Jasper's jaw was clenched, his eyes black fire. His lip curled back over his teeth a little, and his hands clenched and unclenched on his knee. I wondered if he was imagining that his hands were around Edward's throat. He looked up at me, shooting me a horrific glance. I gasped, and covered my mouth. I was terrified of him.

"Carlisle, you wanted to talk?" Edward said, steering me up the stairs once Carlisle answered him – mentally of course.

Once we got up the flight of stairs, I was beginning to shudder.

What was this talk about? About my...renovations? Or lack of? Was it about Jasper?

"Bella," Edward tugged at my elbow, motioning for me to walk in.

Carlisle was standing by the door expectantly, but I couldn't get my feet to begin moving.

"Bella?" Edward tugged again, with a little more force than last time. I snapped out of my horror and walked in to the adjoining room to the bedroom after Carlisle.

I felt like I was sitting in a principal's office – though the last time I had been in one, I was seven and had pulled Cindy Farthing's hair. I'd never gotten along with anyone. I remember telling him that she was stupid, anyway. Her and her name were stupid, and her hair was too – according to me.

So, we sat in Carlisle's makeshift office in the two chairs in front of his desk, clasping hands.

"So, Bella. You and I haven't spoken much since you became a Cullen." He smiled, a little. "So I thought it was time to talk about recent circumstances and your change."

Dread set in the pit of my stomach. "You're not going back on your word, are you?" I turned frantically to Edward.

He smiled. "No, I'm not. We're not."

I breathed a sigh of relief, before turning back to Carlisle. "Okay, well I'll try not to interrupt, I'm all ears."

He smiled. "Well, we are planning on changing you at the end of the week – Friday." I nodded – 2 days wasn't a long time. "But, we need to be sure of something before we change you." I nodded again, waiting for him to continue. "Which means talking about Jasper."

I swallowed. "Okay."

I had no idea where Jasper could come into this conversation about my change – but I would gladly answer. Well, not gladly, but I wanted to be changed, at any cost. I had to be changed. I wanted to stay with Edward forever.

But as my thoughts drifted to Jasper, I was very aware that he was going to be accompanying me in my life with Edward, part of the family, of course. Would I ever be able to ignore that we'd had some sort of relationship? Could I turn my back on whatever feelings were there? The emotions that seemed to be embedded in my soul every time he took my hand?

I was once again glad that Edward couldn't read my thoughts.

"Well, I've got a theory about this."

I nodded.

"I've got quite a few theories, one being the most plausible and my main theory, the others being second thoughts or less planned versions of the first, possibly."

I had to try and remind myself that Carlisle had a theory for everything – he wasn't purposely treating me like a test subject. Even though it felt like it.

"Well, the first theory I came up with was simply-" he paused. "Edward, are you sure you want to be in the room, before I begin?"

Edward turned to me. "Do you want me here?"

I nodded, "Of course I do!"

"I'll continue then." Carlisle spoke softly. "Well, like I said, my first theory is that you don't really love Jasper – though I know you have told him that you do. Simply, you love that he isn't overprotective of you-"

Edward growled. "I am not overprotective!"

"You are!" I countered, and Carlisle just smiled.

"That puts a little more credibility into the theory, then. I'll continue. That he isn't overprotective of you and is willing to do all of the physical acts that you've been...asking Edward to do."

I nodded. This seemed...plausible.

"Just say it, Carlisle." Edward growled, his eyes dark.

Carlisle smiled apologetically. "Also, Jasper isn't so...for lack of a better word, he isn't so hard on himself, since he's gotten his blood lust under control."

He gave Edward an apprehensive look, and Edward simply nodded.

"And, Jasper doesn't give you the 'if I turn you into a vampire, your soul will be damned forever' speech, like dear Edward does."

Carlisle purposely put on a light tone while saying this, laughing. I laughed a little, and nodded. I didn't trust my voice. All these theories made my entire relationship with Jasper seem like a sham. Like every kiss, every touch, everything he'd said was a lie. I was holding back tears.

"In short, Jasper is new and doesn't have to hold back with you. He's dangerous and unfamiliar and doesn't abide to rules like Edward does. It's merely an attraction of that matter, nothing more."

I nodded, willing myself not to cry. Jasper wasn't far away – down the hall, downstairs? Hearing everything, just like I did. All of it. How I never loved him, never really wanted him for anything more than sex or for the danger...I felt terrible.

"Well, now I'll go on to my most probable theory if you don't mind, Bella?" I thought about nodding but I really needed a second alone to work this out.

A knock at the door interrupted my answer. Edward's eyes, a flat black, flickered to the door and back.

"Go, Bella." I frowned, but complied. I opened the door and Jasper was there, leaning against the door frame in a position that conveyed relaxation – but his eyes were on fire, conveying what he could not say, now.

My heart pounded unevenly, picking up double time.

"Come on." He whispered, taking me by the elbow and shutting the door behind us. He led me down the corridor to another spare room – they seemed to be popping up all over this little house. When he opened the door, the room was almost identical to the spare room back at home - resurrecting the memories in me; and being here with Jasper meant it held the same sentiment for me, even though it seemed now that everything was a lie.

"It's okay now, Bella." He knew I knew what he meant.

I slumped to the floor, sobbing. He sat down next to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"How can it not be true, Jazz? I thought...I thought... It can't be all a lie!" I sobbed, nearing incoherency. It couldn't all be wrong, when everything I felt for him was so pure, so completely assured...

"It might not be true, Bella." He whispered into my hair. My sobs had quietened by now, I felt safe in his arms. I didn't know how long we'd been in our room; it didn't matter. No one had knocked, though, so I assumed we hadn't been long. His voice became a little more confident. "Carlisle could be wrong."

I knew he was lying to comfort himself as much as me. "But he's rarely wrong, Jasper." I breathed. "And it feels so definite, with you now – I'm sure that I love you... but when we're not together..." I sobbed, unable to finish my sentence. We both knew what it would have consisted of.

"It might not be true, Bella. We know how we feel; you know how you feel, and I know how I feel." I nodded. "I think it's time for you to go back and hear the rest of Carlisle's theories."

I nodded. He got up, extending a hand, which I gladly took, pulling myself up, and accidentally colliding with his muscled chest.

I muttered a muffled sorry, breathing in his scent. It swirled around me, engulfing me, until I just couldn't tear myself away. Everything felt so right in his arms. This couldn't be a lie. This was real.

He bent his head and whispered low into my ear, "You don't have to believe it, if you don't want to."

I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck as he hugged me tight against his body. We couldn't deny what we felt, not now. I wouldn't believe anything. I'd go back to Edward, but I'd still love Jasper like I loved Edward. We'd finished everything – Jasper and I – but that didn't mean it was all lies.

I wiped my eyes and pulled out of his embrace. I gave him a sincere smile before opening the door and walking back to Carlisle's 'office'. I knocked softly on the door, knowing they'd hear me. Though, if I was honest with myself, they'd be able to hear my heartbeat approaching anyway. Edward opened the door and let me in, and I took my place again by his side.

"Sorry, about that." I whispered, lowering my head so that I could hide behind my curtain of hair.

"It's fine, Bella. I'm sorry that I upset you. Will you be fine to continue?"

I nodded, as Edward took my hand.

"Well, on to my main theory, then." Edward whispered something low to him, out of my hearing range. "I'll keep it short." He amended. "The problem is Jasper's power. What you feels for Jasper is really a mirror image of what you feels for Edward...only magnified because Jasper feels it, then thinks he's actually feeling it, his emotions go off, yours go off, creating the illusion of love for you both. This is why every time you think of Edward, you seem to be drawn to Jasper, am I correct?" I thought about it.

"You're right." I whispered.

"Then, this explains why Jasper still loves Alice, and you still love Edward. This also explains why Jasper interrupted at the wedding - and why he felt like he should marry you at the wedding – according to his thoughts. Edward's love was overwhelming him."

I took this in. It made sense. But I still couldn't believe it.

"It's neither of your faults, Bella. Edward, Alice and I understand that. We _all_ do." He paused, looking a little lost for words, a little unsure. It was unsettling – Carlisle knew _everything_, that's how it had always been. I nodded, hoping to spur him on. His voice was low when he began. "At first, Edward and I wasn't sure what was wrong. He and Alice both came to me, telling me that there was something wrong with the two of you.

"Edward's experience was most worrying – Alice wasn't getting very good results when she checked ahead to events with the two of you. Jasper was almost always in turmoil inside his head – trying to block Edward, Alice -everyone, in more ways than one."

Edward had stayed quiet until now. "And then he lost everything, flooding my head with a million memories of you that I hadn't even seen myself. And that's when I told you." I nodded, remembering the ice freezing the pit of my stomach as I realized he'd caught on. "I...lied to you, a little, Bella. I'm so sorry." He reached over and squeezed my hand.

"When did you lie to me?" I frowned, my eyebrows pulling together.

"I just edited some of the things I said – most of those memories and thoughts came out in a flood, rather than scattered like I said."

"Doesn't matter." I shrugged. I had lied to him, too.

After half a second, Carlisle continued – I was sure he was mentally and physically unable to skip a beat!

"So, Edward and I spoke for a while with Alice, piecing together evidence until we came to the conclusion that Jasper was manipulating you-"

"What?!" I screeched, jolting out of my hazy unawareness. "Jasper wasn't manipulating me! He would never do that, he would never-"

Edward shushed me, pressing his lips to mine softly. I blushed scarlet, embarrassment overthrowing my anger.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean it like that – we know what has happened, now. It was just a big misunderstanding. So if you'd like to talk about your change, now?"

I nodded. My thoughts swirled around my head, unable to stay in one spot for more than a millisecond. I was so unfocused.

"So, Edward has found a little spot right here in Denali that'll be a lovely substitute for your meadow – he mentioned that you would have liked that to be where you were changed."

I nodded absently.

"We're going to try to dull the pain by using morphine – as long as you can bare the sting of the needle." Carlisle smiled.

I was too distracted to smile back.

Carlisle and Edward had both noticed my preoccupation. "Well, I'll leave it here. As long as you're sure, Bella?"

"Mmm?" I mumbled.

"Are you still sure you want to be a vampire?" Carlisle's soft voice pierced through my thoughts, interrupting. I nodded absently, returning to my thoughts.

All I could think of was Jasper. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies. It chanted in my head, the only constant thought. Everything else was out of my reach, a deep betrayal ripping through me. I had thrown away everything for him – my husband to be at the time, my virginity, and my husband again, more recently. And he had broken what should have been a timeless vow between himself and my best friend, his wife. All for _lies_.

"Bella? Are you sure you want to be a vampire?" Carlisle's voice probed into my consciousness again – Edward and I were standing by the door. The world swirled around me – a curious black outline to my vision. I opened my mouth to answer, before the darkness engulfed me and I lost consciousness.

**I apologize very muchly guys. No posts after this for 2 weeks – I have exams. But I'll upload my new story at some point during the week? Sorry, sorry!**


	8. Divided

**Disclaimer, I own this as much as I own the llama song.**

**Not at all, unfortunately.**

**AN – Hm, I'm procrastinating on my revision. So you guys benefit :D I see not many people liked the last chapter. I would say I'm sorry about that, but I'm not. I did try.**

**& I've been getting the whole 'I-wanna-try-really-out-there-style-stories-that-everyone-else-hasn't-gotten-spot-on' vibe recently. I want to try and get these kinds of stories that can go completely haywire and possibly unable to complete down to a tee. So if you guys have got any suggestions? :D**

* * *

It was not like any other time, when the sense of touch had returned to me before any other sense. It was not like the time when I had been aware of the darkness. This time, voices pierced straight into the darkness, prodding me awake.

"Bella?" Edward's worried voice edged through the darkness of my unconsciousness. "Bella, can you hear me?"

Another voice intruded, stabbing a thousand knives into my overwhelmed heart and dragging me further into unwanted consciousness. "What happened? Bella, can you hear me? Bella?"

Edward scoffed. "Yeah, like I haven't tried that."

Silence. "Bella, it's me, it's Jasper. Can you hear me?"

Freezing fingers probed along my skull, pressed lightly into my wrist. Carlisle's voice was calm, lulling me back to sleep. "She's fine. Just a little overwhelmed."

I was suddenly being hoisted up into the air, but I still couldn't open my eyes, despite the shock. I was aware of being carried downstairs.

A sharp laugh pierced my consciousness; my brain registered it as Rosalie's. "What'd she do this time? Fall down the stairs?"

Alice's soft voice was louder, right by where I thought my ear was. "Bella, I know you're awake."

Was I awake? I tried opening my eyes. Wasn't working.

Alice's voice was a little more urgent, quieter than a whisper, in my ear. "Please, you're scaring me, Bella."

Knowing she cared mattered more than anything. After everything, she still cared. She might not be my best friend anymore, but all was not lost. My eyes fluttered open, sight returning.

"I knew you'd be fine." Alice stepped away from me, her tone harsh and cold. I flinched, as she stepped back to sit by Rose on the arm of the chair, furthest from my position on the couch.

"Bella, I'm so glad you're alright." Edward breathed, kissing my forehead. I struggled to get upright and he wrapped his arms around me, bringing me up easily.

Jasper was standing next to Emmett and Carlisle on my left hand side, Esme with Alice and Rose on my right.

A divided front.

Everyone seemed to be thinking the same as me, as each pair of golden eyes penetrated my soul, hearing my accelerating heartbeat. They knew we were divided as much as I did, while silence shrouded the room.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Carlisle broke the silence, stepping forward to put his fingers to my wrist, as if he needed to.

"I'm feeling fine." I whispered. I was incredibly aware that everyone seemed to be hanging on my every word. "I just felt a little...overwhelmed," _for lack of a better word._ My mind added.

I was shying away from the thought.

The thought that I'd thrown away everything for him. I'd kissed him, I'd touched him, I'd loved him. All the while, uncaring about my best friend and husband. And now it was for nothing. I had ripped my family apart in one fell swoop, for a lie. The thought clawed at my insides, killing me slowly.

"Well, I think every thing's done, here." Esme said softly, breaking the silence. "Bella'll be changed tomorrow, and everything will be as planned." I nodded, craving normalcy as much as she.

Alice's face suddenly went blank – a vision. Surprisingly, everyone fixed their eyes on her – unnatural in the Cullen home, because everyone had gotten used to her sudden flashes of the future. Edward stiffened beside me and stood up, flashing to her side in an instant. His lips vibrated silently as he spoke to his family.

Everyone's eyes flashed to my face quickly, before they turned back to Alice again.

Alice gasped, collapsing into Edward's waiting arms. He had been expecting this. Whatever she had seen - what he had seen - was not good. As silent as ever, her lips ghosted my name. She did not move for a heartbeat; though it felt more like an hour.

"What did you see?" I whispered, standing up.

Her expression became guarded as she looked at me, detaching herself from Edward's brotherly embrace. I knew the expression – she was inventing a fake vision. Memories of Phoenix – James' attack – tugged at my threads of concentration. She was lying.

"Oh, just a few complications with the old house in Forks. Some kids having a party there." She chuckled, relaxing next to Rose and Esme.

I didn't believe her. Something was coming. Something for me – just like in Phoenix.

The family visibly relaxed – so much that I could see it was all an act. Jasper never relaxed his posture or expression for a second; he stood erect, his eyes a flat black.

He knew I didn't believe, and wasn't hesitating to tell Edward, who glided back over to sit with me on the couch, smiling. The family slipped away, show over. It was hardly a show anymore, I thought. I did this a lot, as did Alice.

Edward turned to me, pressing his lips against my neck softly. I shivered at his touch, leaning into his chest as the sun came up. I wondered what the time was; the routine of my days and nights were fast becoming muddled. But I knew that wouldn't matter, very, very soon.

* * *

"We're going shopping!" Alice announced, tugging Rose out of the front door.

She didn't ask me. It surprised me to find that I actually wanted to go, this once. Esme, Carlisle and Edward were out hunting. Emmett and Jasper were babysitting me – though it was mostly Emmett. Jasper was upstairs in Carlisle's makeshift study. How long would we stay in this place, that wasn't fit for any of us?

I wondered again, why they were leaving me at all. Something was obviously coming, though they didn't know I was aware.

Emmett bounded into the room, bright as a button. As always. "Hey, Bells, how's it hanging?"

"All good, Em." I smiled as he sat down next to me on the prop of a kitchen table. "How about you?"

"All good, Jelly Belly." I grimaced as he laughed. "Jasper's busy brooding, Alice and Rose are probably maxing out another credit card, and you know where Eddie is." I nodded.

Edward had been hunting all day; preparing. I was being changed tomorrow morning. It drove a thrill of excitement and fear through me at the same time. I tried to keep my emotions in check- being in a flurry of hormones would not be good with an empathetic vampire directly above me.

"Yeah, I know. So Em, care to tell me what things are like over in grand ol' Britain? I never got a chance to go to the UK."

He smiled his big goofy grin again. "You'll have plenty of chance, Tiny."

"TINY!" I screeched. "Alice is smaller than me!"

"Yeah, and she gets pixie as a nickname. It was a toss up between Jelly Belly, Tiny or Hot stuff." I scoffed at the choice while he laughed; booming and reverberating through the house. "Eddie didn't like Hot stuff much, so I resorted to Tiny or Jelly Belly. And you seemed to resent Jelly Belly, so I figured Tiny's the last option!"

I laughed. "Okay, it's better than Hot stuff. But you avoided the question, what was the UK like?"

"Well, the place was nice. Huge farm house, Esme fixed it up all nice. Weren't many humans around for a few miles. Big beaches, lots of fields. You would have loved it!"

I smiled, imagining.

"Shame bout Ol' Carly getting it mixed up – it's sunny during Summer!"

I was bent over, doubled up in my laughter. "OL' CARLY?!"

He nodded, smiling even more so. As if Emmett ever stopped smiling. "Yeah, it's a running joke with us guys and Esme. We were in a CD store in London a few years ago – maybe 2? - and we happened to meet an old acquaintance of Carlisle's.

"She went up to Edward first, bending over and everything so he could see down her top," he winked at me, "and was all 'Eddie, I haven't seen you in so long!' so Edward's all backing up now, completely uninterested in her, while Esme, me and Jazz are sniggering in another aisle, hearing everything perfectly.

"Esme found it hilarious, too, until Carla – that's her name – gives up with flirting and being all question-y about him and asks 'How's ol' Carly these days, still single?' so then Esme starts growling and Ed's like 'No, we told you last time, he's married!' and then she's all 'I know that was all a ploy, you tell ol' Carly that Carla was askin' 'bout him!' and then Esme goes up to her and says that it wasn't a ploy and that Carla can keep her hands off Ol' Carly any time she likes!"

Emmett's laughter booms throughout the kitchen, covering mine; hysterical as I was. Once it had died down a little, and I was wiping tears from my eyes while resting my head against Emmett's vibrating shoulder, I heard Jasper's soft voice coming from the doorway.

"And since then, we've called him 'Ol' Carly'!"

Emmett turned around with me, resulting in me sort of collapsing on top of him, but I brushed it off quickly once Jasper came to sit opposite me.

"Telling her about our history, eh, Em?" He laughed.

Emmett nodded. "Oh Jazz, we've got to tell her about the time when Edward-" he burst out laughing.

I sent Jasper a questioning look as Emmett screamed hysterically.

"I have no idea, Bells. Edward's done some pretty stupid things."

"THE PIANO!" Emmett roared, before collapsing back into a fit of laughter.

Realization dawned on Jasper's face before he leant back into his chair and proceeded to fill the house with Emmett's glee.

Which basically meant leaving me with two hysterical vampires and one human -being me- who couldn't control their breathing. Let alone their bladders! I ended up having to run out of the kitchen, laughing as I went, before I wet myself; which made Jasper and Emmett laugh more. I continued laughing as I crept up the stairs, unable to hold my balance.

By the time I'd gotten to the en suite in mine and Edward's room, I'd calmed down a little. It was very worrying that Edward had done "some pretty stupid things". It was also very worrying that I didn't know exactly what I was laughing about.

By the time I'd resumed my place downstairs, Jasper had calmed Emmett down.

"Ready to hear about the piano, Bella?"

I nodded, and let Jasper continue, while Emmett tried to hold in his hiccups. I tried unsuccessfully to ignore them – who knew vampires could get hiccups?!

"Well, it was this one time in Tanya's house in Denali, and Tanya, being the lovely girl she is, thought that if she bought Edward a piano, their relationship would be a done deal."

Emmett's hiccups abruptly stopped, and the two exchanged a quick glance before Emmett continued.

"So she shows Edward this huge piano and Edward's all 'Thank you Tanya' and gives her a nice...tap on the shoulder, and then she looks at him and says 'THAT'S ALL?!' and he's frowning, completely oblivious as to why she's so angry and says "What's all, Tanya?' and she says 'I BUY YOU A FRICKING PIANO AND ALL I GET IS A TAP ON THE SHOULDER?' and then launches him into the piano which he breaks and then she stalks out and he's there mourning the piano he never played!"

_Was that meant to be funny_, I wondered? I found myself laughing with them, but I knew it was induced; Jasper was influencing me. It had all sounded so fake, so made up...What was it about Tanya that I shouldn't know?

By the time Edward came home, I was tucked up in bed, sleeping off the day's festivities.

* * *

"Morning, love." Edward said, pressing his lips to my forehead. "I cannot believe this is going to be the last time I watch you wake up in the morning!"

He sounded quite euphoric, actually, completely different from the Edward who was against me being turned into a damned forever vampire. I supposed he'd been taking Carlisle's advice, remembering that I didn't like the whole 'if I turn you into a vampire then your soul will be damned forever' speeches.

As if that mattered, now.

I got ready, showering and eating quickly. And then I could put it off no longer. I was going to go with Edward and Carlisle to be changed. The Cullens lined the hall as I reached the bottom of the staircase, ready to talk to me each in turn.

Esme was first. "I know things haven't been easy, Bella, but I know this is what you want. I love you, daughter." She hugged me tightly for the first time in so long.

I found myself crying.

Emmett was next, picking me up in a bone crushing hug. "Now I'll be able to hug you properly, Tiny!" I laughed as he released me, smiling through the suddenly relentless tears.

Rosalie was next. She smirked at me, staying far away. "It's not too late to change your mind." Before I could answer, she had turned on her heel and gone to the kitchen.

Alice walked forward to me, hugging me tightly and whispering a 'Good Luck' in my ear before going back to the line, closing the gap where Rose had been.

Jasper was of course, last. He stepped forward and put his hand on my shoulder. I couldn't ignore the pull that his touch had on me; and I stepped closer, oblivious to the family.

"Bella." He breathed my name, and I felt another spark ignite in my body. "Can I talk to you alone? Just a minute?"

I turned to Edward. He nodded.

We stepped into the lounge, despite the fact they'd still be able to hear us.

"Bella." He said again. "I can't believe it. One minute you were this new girl everyone was talking about and the next you were part of the family. And then you were the girl that I loved more than anything in the world." He whispered, brushing the tears away from my cheek. "And then everything turned upside down in a minute. And you're about to be changed." I nodded, laughing through my tears.

"Way to be obvious, Jazz." I whispered.

He smiled that heartbreaking smile. "I can't believe Edward's changing you." He laughed. "And to think at one point I never liked you! You were just another human!" He laughed again, before his expression became somber.

"Eternity's a long time, Bella."

I nodded.

"It'll be even longer without you." He breathed.

"How can I look at you _every day of forever_, knowing I can never touch you?" He raised his hand and stroked my cheek, leaving his hand cupping my chin.

"How can I look at you _every day of forever_, knowing that I can never kiss you, Bella?" I let out a strangled sob, closing my eyes.

When I opened them, he was closer than I thought; his lips close enough to touch. All I had to do was get up onto my tiptoes and-

"How am I going to leave you alone, Bella, _every fucking day of forever _knowing that I love you?" He pressed his lips to mine softly, and I began sobbing. "I can't do it, Bella." He breathed, holding me close to him. "I don't care that they think it's a lie. I tried to sit there with you yesterday and lie my face off and try to be around you like a brother, but I can't, I can't do it." I sobbed again, and clutched at his shirt with my fingers, holding on for dear life.

"I can't spend _every single day of forever_ with you when every time I see you, I fall a little more in love with you..." He trailed off, giving me and apologetic look as my tears continued to stream in rivers down my cheeks. "And you've got everything you wanted. But you are definitely my favorite human, and you always will be. I can't say you'll be my favorite vampire yet," he pressed his lips to my ear and spoke so low that I barely heard him. "But I'm pretty sure you will be."

I nodded, wiping away my tears.

"Go get changed, Bella. I'll see you in three days, okay?" I nodded, as he opened the lounge door, revealing the unsuspected empty corridor. We walked out to the drive where the family were waiting; giving us privacy. No one had heard our exchange, it was all they could give us.

I walked over to Edward and wrapped myself up in his arms, ready to leave; as Jasper stood behind Alice, wrapping his arms around her tiny waist.

Edward slung me over his back for the last time, before we turned around so that I could give the family one last look as a human. Edward's eyes found Esme, looking for the reassurance of his parent.

But mine couldn't leave Jasper.

"Have a good forever, Bella." He smiled, mouthing one more thing to me just as we started running.

_'Because I sure as hell won't'_

**Completely random chapter, I know. I was all for making it really short, and quite a cliffy, too. But then Emmett took over my mind and I thought up a story or two, one that wasn't told accurately by Emmett. AND THOU SHALL FINDETH OUT WHATETH I MEAN LATERETH ON IN THE STORY...ETH. So yeah, I just went with it, felt like planting some seeds of doubt for the future. AND kept the cliffy. :D**


	9. Goodbye

**Disclaimer – All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, and to be Stephenie Meyer, la la la la... But it's unlikely, eh?**

**AN – Putting off revising, again :) So I figure, stick on some BMTH and write the newest chapter! The ideas have been churning around my head for a while now, so I've got to get everything down :D**

**Short chapter, I know. Start guessing, people. :D  
**

* * *

As Edward raced with me slung casually over his back alongside Carlisle, I couldn't help but note that there was something odd in the Cullens' farewells. I was about to ask Edward about it as we sped through the trees, but before I knew it, he was gently lowering me down onto the lush grass.

"We're here, Bella."

We finally reached our destination; an adorable meadow that was quite similar to our one back in Forks. The grass was a vivid green; the trees surrounding the meadow reached up to the heavens, and despite that the sky overhead was overcast, it still brought back pleasant memories of Edward and I in our somewhat more naïve days.

"Wow, Edward." I gasped, staring at my surroundings. "How did you find this place?"

He chuckled lightly. "I just had a look around. I wanted this to be perfect as possible for you, love." His eyes darkened a little. "It's not too late to turn around, Bella. Please?"

I shook my head fiercely. "No, I've made my decision Edward. I thought we'd agreed? What's changed?"

He and Carlisle exchanged a quick look before he answered me hurriedly, "No, no Bella! Nothing's changed, I just wanted to make sure this is what you want."

I wrapped my arms around him and he returned the gesture, cradling me recklessly close. "Edward, I will never _ever_ regret you changing me. I want to be with you, and I always will. I love you so much, don't forget that."

"I love you too, more than anything." He whispered into my hair. "Don't _you_ forget that."

I attempted to change the tense atmosphere by asking him the question I'd been wondering about since we'd left the rest of the family.

"I meant to ask you," I started, pulling away from his chest to look up at his beautiful face. "Everyone seemed to be a little on edge, back at home."

I felt his body tense against mine. "What do you mean?" The poker face was in place, curiously. I wondered what he was hiding from me.

"Well, I don't know – it's like they were saying goodbye permanently or something!" I laughed, and he relaxed, pulling me a little tighter to his body.

"No, silly." He laughed. "They were saying goodbye to human Bella. They're getting ready to welcome in the new era of the non-clumsy Bella!"

"Bella, are you ready to get started?" Carlisle asked, interrupting politely.

"Sure, Carlisle."

I remembered why we had chosen to do this in an outdoor area. I didn't want Edward to remember me writhing in pain in the middle of our home; and we would never see this place again. It was fitting.

I lay down in the cool grass, brushing my hair away from my neck. Edward was right by my side instantly, kissing me lightly on the lips.

"Are you sure, Bella?" He asked, one more time.

"I'm sure, Edward. I love you." My voice didn't waver.

"Bella, look at me, for a minute," he said, pulling me up so that I was staring into his light topaz eyes. "I want you to know, that I love you more than anything, more than life itself. Our entire family loves you, Bella. Please don't forget that." He whispered, kissing me hard on the lips.

I recognized the kiss at once. It was a kiss of goodbyes. There was tension, and love, and farewells all mixed up in one. I returned it. Human Bella would never kiss Edward again. She was going to die. But vampire Bella would take her place, and for that I was grateful. I wanted to give Edward my life, my heart. My soul, if I had to.

"Ready, Bella?" Carlisle broke the silence.

I lay down again. "I won't forget, Edward." I whispered, as Carlisle pushed the sharp point of the needle through the skin of the inner crease of my elbow.

I felt the anesthesia numbing my senses almost immediately. I heard Carlisle instructing Edward quietly, and I hung on to his words unwillingly. I didn't want to fall asleep yet. My brain could not register why Carlisle wasn't using his thoughts to talk to Edward.

"Okay, Edward. Are you prepared?" He asked.

I felt him nod. His fingertips squeezed mine gently, and then I felt them on my neck, brushing my hair out of the way. I felt him take a deep breath, before I felt his lips on my skin, ready to expose his teeth.

Then they pierced the flesh.

There was no dragging sense as my blood slipped from my body, Edward had removed his venomous teeth from the skin of my neck, and was now proceeding to bite my wrists and ankles.

Then the fire started. I could not close my eyes. I tried not to scream, because I knew it would kill Edward, literally. It was a little dull, unfocused. I wasn't sure of the pain, it was less than the last time. I heard Edward whisper to Carlisle to give Bella more morphine, and I waited for relief. Carlisle must have given Bella some more morphine, because my eyes began getting heavy, and all I could feel was scorching sun all over my skin.

My eyes closed and then I was drifting, with one piece of knowledge accompanying me.

I was becoming a vampire.

* * *

**Like I said, short. But I figured I should leave you guys hanging. Because I know what's gonna happen, MUAHAHA! Looking at this logically, I have changed my mind – I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish off with Avaritia, I think I'll have to add another into the mix. Not promising anything. :)**

**Review please?**


	10. New World

**Disclaimer – Me no own, comprende? **

**AN – Wow, only one person got it right, out of all of you guys :O Well done, Hado, your theory was right! So go see how it plays out! **

**I HAVE VERY BIG SEQUEL-RELATED NEWS!**

**I'm dedicating this chapter to Angeliss, because she is a fantastic writer, she's been incredibly supportive and she praises me so much that I'm unable to stand up because my head is so big. Your support means so much to me, and thank you for sticking with me even though the story may not turn out the way you want (even though you know it will, now!) and I appreciate all of your support, everyone, please don't think I don't because I REALLY do! **

**NEWS:**

**I know so many of you are torn, team Eddies or team Jazzies. So I've come up with a solution. Avaritia will be finished to the happiness of the team Eddies. BUT, I will write another story following on from it that'll have the team Jazzies squealing in glee. And the team Eddies don't have to read that – SO EVERYONE'S HAPPY. But I still suggest the team Jazzies continue reading Avaritia 'cause I love you guys! **

**AND I'VE FINISHED MY EXAMS, HURRRAAH!**

I was first aware of the darkness. Very, very, dark.

I could hear voices, clearly.

_Who _were they?

I tried to open my eyes. _Can__'t open my eyes yet_, I registered.

_Where_ was I?

I scanned through my memories to find...none.

_Who __was I_?

I concentrated on the voices.

There was a level, musical voice. A man's voice. Very close.

"Alice, it's not sensible for you all to be here!" He sounded outraged. "She'll be overwhelmed!"

A light, soprano tinkling answered his angered tone, I assumed this was Alice. She was close, too.

Should the name register? I could find nothing.

"I've seen it, Edward," Edward. I tried that out. He must be the first one. "She won't remember a thing. She'll need to meet us all in turn again, at least to believe that she has some sort of relationship with us, or she could go completely wild! It's a dangerous thing to be dabbling in!"

Edward let out an exasperated sigh, before answering a little more softly. "Okay, Alice. You can stay." Alice squealed while Edward took a short breath.

I tried to piece together the information I had. I was...somewhere. I tried experimenting with my fingers. The sense of touch came back. Only 3 more to go. I was in a field of some sort, I presumed. There was grass, anyway, under my left hand.

In my other, there was a smooth hand, clinging to mine tightly.

So, I was in a field, with two people called Edward and Alice, one of which was holding my hand. Edward was angry at Alice, but seemed to succumb to her reasoning easily. Maybe they were in love? What purpose did I have in this relationship? Was I a baby? Was I _their_ baby!?

That was odd. I was almost sure I had been an adult, before. Before...something. I couldn't latch onto it. Did babies have thoughts, anyway!?

That was impossible. My hands were too big – it fitted with the other hand perfectly, like a mould.

When he began speaking again, his tone was wretched, heartbroken. "Have you seen when she'll wake up, yet?"

Silence. "Her heart stopped beating a while ago. Maybe this is just a side affect?"

"I don't know. I really don't know." He sighed. The sigh seemed almost familiar, but it was...locked away. Like a word on the tip of my tongue but...nothing...almost. There was something there, I was sure. An unfamiliar feeling in my stomach.

"I should never have changed her, Alice. I know she wanted it but...I shouldn't have."

There was a sharp crack in the air, and a chorus of gasps from others.

_Wait,_ my mind screamed. _Others_?

I was unable to take this into account, because Alice's high voice echoed through the air, dragging me away from my thoughts.

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN!" So, that was his name. Cullen seemed to bring out a reaction in me, and I found my sense of smell to return. Definitely a field, there were trees around us. Foliage. Water. Animals. Unidentifiable scents.

Alice continued talking angrily. "Bella loves you; she married you, even though she'd been brought up to despise marriage! She became Mrs Cullen! Your _wife_! She's always wanted this, always! AND NOW YOU'VE GOT THE _NERVE_ TO SUGGEST THAT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN IT TO HER!"

"She'll have forgotten _everything_, Alice. She won't know me, she won't know you, she won't know Carlisle, she won't know Esme, she won't know Emmett, she won't know Rosalie and she won't know..."

"Jasper." Alice finished his hanging sentence.

That was a lot of names to take in. Someone named Bella was married to Edward. This was a family. I assumed Carlisle and Esme were the closest to Edward because he mentioned them first. There was something wrong with Jasper, though. Edward was reluctant to say his name.

"See, Edward? This may be a blessing in disguise," Alice whispered urgently. Her voice was so low that I barely caught it. "Rose can start over with Bella! _Jasper_ can start over with Bella."

"And she won't remember me leaving..." Edward sounded wistful.

"And she won't remember how much of an arse you were to her the first day you met, or how much of a dickhead you were about her being changed..."

"Thanks, Alice." Edward whispered sarcastically.

"She won't remember Jacob Black." Alice breathed. "She won't remember James, Laurent or Victoria."

The hand clenching mine tightened a little.

"You're right. A blessing in disguise." Edward was smiling. Edward was happy.

I didn't know why that made me happy.

I heard soft footsteps padding across the grass to where I lay beside Edward and Alice, then they stopped beside us. I heard another sharp slap, before another voice joined the symphony.

This one was deeper, but still musical. Male. "Alice!" It chided. "What I was telling Edward was that I could feel happiness coming from Bella. She must be aware of some things."

"Really?" Alice bounced, I could feel the movement reverberating through the ground beneath me.

"Yes. I doubt it'll be long before she wakes up, love." The voice smiled.

"See, Edward?" Alice said, sounding elated. "I told you she'll be fine."

The feet padded around the grass to my other side. "I can't believe she won't remember me," the voice whispered sadly.

"Well don't make the same mistake again, Jasper." Edward hissed harshly.

If I could have, I would have recoiled at the venom in his voice. It was nothing like the tones I'd heard earlier. But I supposed it was understandable; Edward and Alice didn't seem to like Jasper.

But hadn't Jasper called Alice 'love'?

This was beyond confusing. I refused to stay out any longer. I began twitching my fingers, hoping to get some movement back in my body.

My eyelids flickered, and I was met with the face of an angel. His skin was pale but soft as silk; his hair a bronze flame. There was a small girl with short dark hair sitting at my feet. On my left side, there was a blond male, his topaz eyes wide with worry.

"Bella?!" He gasped, stroking my face. I recognized his voice as Edward's. The blond must be Jasper. I couldn't see why Edward would have a problem with him.

Edward continued speaking, his voice pained. "Oh Lord, I hope she remembers me. I can't believe I did this to my Bella."

"Who's Bella?" I croaked, trying to sit up. Edward pushed me back down. Suddenly, I could hear a babble of voices not far away...

Alice began speaking, now. "She'll be a bit disorientated, Edward. You should talk to her."

Jasper interrupted mid-sentence, but Alice continued unperturbed. Somehow I managed to hear both of them. "Edward, she's a little confused, but she's not scared. Try talking to her."

"Who's Bella?" I repeated, looking up at Edward.

He continued to stroke my face from temple to chin, speaking softly. "You're Bella, love. I'm Edward. I'm your husband."

_I was Bella?_

"I-I...I what?" I stammered, trying to process it.

I wasn't Bella.

"Oh God," Edward gasped. "She doesn't even remember me. She's so scared. Oh, my Bella," he sobbed, stroking my face again sorrowfully.

Something registered. Edward wasn't moving his mouth.

"How are you doing that?" I whispered, looking at them all.

"Doing what?" Alice asked, popping her head past Edward.

"Speaking without moving your mouth," I whispered, fighting the urge to close my eyes again. I was so tired.

"We're not, Bella." She answered slowly. I was about to tell her that I wasn't Bella, but she continued speaking. "She's delusional, Edward! Do you think Carlisle will know what to do?"

"You did it again," I protested weakly.

Jasper spoke, next. "Edward, she isn't lying. Bella believes whatever she's hearing."

I turned to Jasper. "Will you please stop talking about me like I'm not here? Of course I believe it, you're talking without your mouth!" I paused. "And I'm not Bella."

His eyes widened, and he pressed his hand to my forehead lightly. Edward removed his hand from my face, and suddenly, I felt a pang of worry wash over me, distinctly emanating from Edward; as though Edward was throwing emotions at me. I turned to him, his eyes terrified and his eyebrows pulling together in the middle. He continued pushing emotions onto me. _What is he doing? Does he always do this?_ I wondered.

I turned back to Jasper, to find he was pushing some kind of emotion onto me, too. _Curiosity, _I registered.

"What are you all doing?" I asked.

"What do you mean, Bella?"

Edward said, stroking my face again, now that Jasper had removed his hand.

"I'm not Bella," I persisted, sitting up. Why wouldn't they understand? I had no recollection of this girl, no recollection of _being_ this girl.

"Who are you then?" Alice said, again, not using her mouth.

"I'm...I'm...I don't know who I am," I sobbed. "And how do you keep on speaking without your mouth?" I said, confused when no tears leaked out of my eyes. It seemed natural for that to happen, and without it I felt...unnatural.

Who was I?

"I knew it, Edward!" Jasper and Alice exclaimed again. Alice continued. "Bella, can you hear me?"

"I can hear you, Alice," I whispered, "but I'm not Bella."

A sudden attack of joy burst from each of them, as I heard Alice again. "She remembers me!"

Edward spoke out loud, his mouth moving, finally. "How did you know her name was Alice?" He whispered.

"I heard you talking." I stated, feeling their joy turn back to worry. They all continued talking to themselves without moving their mouths. "You're Alice," I pointed at her. "You're Edward," I smiled at him. "And you're Jasper." I smiled at him, too.

I felt a sudden pang of pain, but I ignored it, as it was gone quicker than it had come. I knew that it had come from Jasper, though.

"How do you do that, too?" I asked, frowning at him. "The thing with the pushing emotions at me? It hurts, can you stop?"

I felt another emotion. Alarm, by now.

"I think she's got my power, Edward." Jasper spoke again, without using his mouth.

I felt my energy burst back to me, courtesy of Alice. "Will you _please_ stop talking about me like I'm not here?"

"We should tell her," Alice said, turning to Edward and Jasper. "Maybe the others should come, now?"

Edward nodded, before calling out, "Carlisle? You can all come over now."

It took a few seconds for them all to assemble, and I could hear them talking way before they came.

The high, female voice was the one I heard first. "I wonder what Edward wants, now. Poor little Bella, lost her memory, aww darling! As if she hasn't made enough trouble for us with Jasper..."

Her voice suddenly trailed off, and I refocused on the babble. There was a deep male voice next; but unlike Jasper and Edward, he sounded childlike. "I can't wait to see my baby sister again!" He squealed, over and over.

I turned back to the babble of voices, listening in on a woman whose tone sounded warm and loving. I instantly recognized her as the mother of this group. "My poor daughter, forgetting everything. I was prepared for it...but now it just seems too real. And Edward..." Her thoughts seemed to be bordering on depression, and I pulled away, starting to feel depressed myself.

I was about to tune in to the last male's voice, but before I could, they appeared at the end of the clearing. The four walked briskly in pairs, making it obvious who were partnered.

An overexcited and oversized male skipped to the front, hand in hand with a tall blonde, who exuded nonchalance. I was instantly intimidated by her looks and confidence, and she gave me such an undermining look that I was sure she could hear my thoughts. She was definitely not the motherly figure I had looked forward to meeting. The male was smiling broadly from ear to ear, and was speaking without his mouth again.

"Bella! Wow, she's hot!" Edward growled, a deep rumbling in his chest.

"Woah! Sorry, Edward. I forget." He apologized.

I took a look at the other couple; these were the parents. The male was blond, and despite the tired circles under his eyes, he looked like a God. The female was his perfect equal, pale skin and large eyes, her hair a soft caramel hanging gently around her shoulders. I knew these were the parents I'd been looking for.

The family were greeting each other by moving their mouths, finally.

"Carlisle," Edward addressed the blond father figure. "Jasper, Alice and I think we've worked out Bella's power."

Carlisle nodded. "Okay, you explain to Bella and we'll just listen in."

Edward nodded, but then I heard the mother speaking again.

"Edward, do you mind if I speak to my daughter for a minute, first?" She asked tentatively, giving me a glance.

Edward turned to me, his expression statue-like. "Do you mind speaking to Esme, love?"

"I'll speak to you." I smiled at Esme.

Now I knew that Rosalie was the blonde, and Emmett was the happy male.

Esme stepped forward tentatively and sat by Jasper on my left side. "How are you feeling, honey?"

"I'm okay now, Mom. Thanks for asking." I smiled.

"She just called me Mom! Oh, my baby," she sobbed silently, her mouth composed in a tightly closed curving line.

"Bella, are you feeling thirsty, dear?" She asked, clasping my hand with both of hers.

"I'm sorry Mom, but my name isn't Bella." I whispered, not wanting to upset her.

"Oh, it's worse than I'd thought!" She said silently. Pain emanated from her.

"Do you mind telling me what your name is, then?" She asked, edging closer to me.

Everyone else watched, intrigued – I could tell by these stupid emotions they threw at me. Their silent voices were merely a babble around me now, as I traveled back through the little memories I had to find a name.

"I don't know my name." I whispered. "Everyone's been calling me Bella, but I don't remember it." I choked. "I don't remember anything."

"It's okay, dear. For now, shall we call you Bella until you remember your real name?"

I nodded. "Okay, that's fine Mom."

She reached over and pulled me into a one-armed-hug. "Told you it would work, Edward. Now, you better tell us all what's happened." She never opened her mouth.

"Can you tell me what all this is about now please?" I asked, exasperated. "You talk without your mouths, you throw emotions at me and you seem to think I'm part of this family...but I don't remember anything."

Edward smiled kindly at me. "Okay, Bella, love, I'll explain everything from the start." I crossed my legs and faced him, trying to ignore the babble of voices behind me.

"You are a vampire, and-"

"I'm a what?" I shrieked. I knew I was meant to be human. Human, that's what I was! I couldn't remember who I was, or where I came from, but I knew I was human.

"Please, relax, Bella." Edward pleaded with me.

He turned to Jasper. "Can't you try and calm her down, or something?" He hissed.

"I've been trying!" Jasper hissed back.

"And I have," Alice spoke, quietly. "I can't see her at all, it all goes blank when I look, like she doesn't exist."

"I don't exist?" I whimpered.

"No, no, Bella! You're just...I'll explain later, okay?" I nodded. "Can I carry on explaining, then, love?" I nodded again.

He smiled a breathtaking crooked smile that made my breath stick in my throat. Edward touched my face and whispered, "Breathe, Bella."

I could suddenly see a young girl with wide brown eyes and long brown hair, her eyes wide open and her heartbeat thudding in my ears. I knew that I loved this girl with my entire being, and I was afraid of hurting her. I had to protect her. I heard the same words in the same voice, before I was pulled away again.

"So, Bella, like I was saying," Edward continued as if nothing had happened, "We are vampires. You and I met three years ago in high school, and we married two weeks ago. You loved me very much and I loved you even more, so I agreed to change you into a vampire so that you could spend eternity with me. I didn't really want to steal you away from the world that you'd known, but you were persistent." He chuckled.

I smiled at him. He loved me. I could feel it. And somewhere inside me I knew he was telling me the truth, and he would always tell me the truth. That he was my other half in life.

"And, as I explained to you a while ago, vampires can have supernatural powers." I nodded. "Can you hear what I'm saying, Bella? Can you say yes, if you do?" He smiled.

"Yes, I can hear you." He nodded.

"Bella, I think you've got the same power as me; to read minds."

"I've-I've what?!"

"Can you hear me now, Bella?" He asked.

"Of course I can, why do you keep asking that?"

"Because the conversation we've been having is through my thoughts. The others can't hear anything. Look at my mouth." His mouth wasn't moving; tightly pressed together, the corners twitching in amusement.

I was hearing his _thoughts?_

"So what's that babbling noise?" I whispered.

_That's everyone's thoughts. You can hear them all, but you seem to have figured out how to tune them out already. It took me a lot longer,_ He thought.

_So can you hear me?_ I thought, looking at him expectantly.

_Were you trying to talk to me using your thoughts, Bella?_

I nodded.

_I can't hear your thoughts; no one can affect you – not me, not Aro, not Jane. Jasper and Alice used to be able to affect you; _he paused and I saw a flash of brown and blond kissing heatedly. The image was gone before I could take it in correctly, and by then Edward was thinking again. _But now Alice can't see you, and Jasper can't feel you._

"Feel me? See me? What do you mean?" I asked carefully.

"Well," Edward spoke out loud. "Alice can see the future. And Jasper can feel and manipulate your emotions."

"We think you've got that power, too." Jasper spoke up. _Can you feel this, Bella?_

Suddenly, a huge burst of love was thrown at me, and before I knew it, I seemed to be throwing it out myself.

Everyone's thoughts echoed the same thing. _Yes, you've definitely got Jasper's power too!_

I tried to stem the flow of love that was flooding out of me. It worked.

It was like the air had been filled with fuzziness, happiness and pink.

Now it was back to as it was...and it seemed somewhat subfusc, dull and boring.

"So Bella's got both of your powers?" Rosalie snorted. "Why? It's not like she was intuitive or empathetic in her human life!"

_Just pathetic_, she added mentally.

Edward growled audibly, frowning at her.

"I'm not really sure why, Rosalie." Carlisle pondered. He was running through countless scenarios in his mind, and I immediately pulled out of his mind, trying to stay locked in mine.

Suddenly, all the voices were gone, and it was just my own thoughts inside my head.

"Edward?" I whispered. "Edward, I can't hear your thoughts anymore."

"How come? Did you do something?" He asked, edging closer to me.

"Well, Carlisle's thoughts were confusing me so I tried to stay locked in my mind...and then all the babble went and I can't hear anymore." I frowned, confused.

"Try and use the power again, Bella." Carlisle said, obviously trying out another of his scenarios.

I tried to unlock my mind, and get into Edward's.

It worked.

Suddenly, I could see everything from his perspective- my own body, red eyes glazed over; eyebrows pulling together a little in concentration...

But most of all, I was beautiful.

I was the image of beauty; flawless skin, shiny locks, prominent cheekbones and eyes sparkling like rubies.

I withdrew from his mind, and concentrated on going back into mine. I could hear the voices again, but I lowered them to merely background noise.

"Did you do it?" Edward asked.

"I went inside your mind, yes." I smiled.

_Bella's so advanced in her powers already! _ Carlisle's shocked thoughts jumped through my mental barriers. _If my theory is correct, she could be the most powerful vampire in history, Edward!_

What was he insinuating that I was, some super-vamp? I rolled my eyes.

I tuned into Edward's mind, listening for his thoughts.

_Bella, are you thirsty yet?_

I had no idea how he knew I was listening.

"Not at all." I answered.

"No dryness in the back of your throat?" He continued.

"Should there be?"

"Well, any burning? Anything?" He persisted.

"Nothing, zilch, zero." I retorted. "I'm not hungry, either."

Edward and Carlisle exchanged a look.

"Maybe it's time to go home, Bella." Carlisle smiled.

**Pretty long, eh? :)**

**Review, please!**

**& Tell me how many of you "actually saw this coming!"**


	11. Blood

**Disclaimer: When I grow up I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna own Twilight (8)**

**Yeah, I don't own the Pussycat Dolls either :**

**Well, on the topic of the sequel:**

**I'll be writing it after I've finished Avaritia. This isn't the end of Avaritia; there will be 29 chapters and an epilogue like there was in Luxuria. But, there will be crucial information in Avaritia, so if the Team Jazzies weren't planning on reading any more of Avaritia, then I beg you to continue cause I love you and you won't understand the sequel otherwise :**

**& I'm sorry it's taken so long, I got a bitta writers block. At one point I even contemplated having Bella fall off a cliff. Desperate times, lovies! I know this is a little short, but I need to get Bella's understanding of her change down first, otherwise it'd be like I was skipping the facts! & I'm revealing Carlisle's power-theory in this chapter. :) **

Edward took my hand, and we made our way through the trees, running at the speed of light. The family trailed behind us, our speed too much for them. I was beginning to believe that I was a vampire. I could hear people's thoughts; enter their minds. I could feel their emotions, manipulate them. My skin was like ice, I was immensely beautiful, and I was ghosting through the trees with my speed. My skin shone in the sun, like there were thousands of crystals embedded in it.

But, didn't vampires drink blood?

Before I had a chance to contemplate the matter further, Edward slowed our pace down, until we were in front of a gorgeous cream mansion. My feet halted to a complete stop, my eyes bulging wide. It looked like a castle, reaching up towards the sky. I counted the levels. There were 4 floors to the enormous house.

"_Where are we?"_ I breathed, eying the vast green lawns and beautiful scenery.

"We're home, Bella." Edward said softly, looking down at me.

Had I always lived here with Edward and his family? Why couldn't I remember anything?! The weirdest thing was that I could remember everything – trees, sky, clothes, hair, everything seemingly material. My _knowledge_ was all there...but not my memories of _learning_ that knowledge. Then again, maybe becoming a vampire meant losing your memories...

And Edward had said I'd wanted this. Maybe I'd been willing to give up my entire life to be with Edward forever. Did I love him _that_ much? To give up my life?

As we walked up the stone steps to the porch, I eyed the subtle ring on the third finger of my left hand. I may not remember it, but I knew I loved Edward, and I knew that I could fall in love with him again. He was gorgeous, seemed to have a lovely personality and he loved me. Plus, the past me loved him – it was like a book review from your best friend, the one that knows you better than anyone, the one that'd know you would love a book the second you picked it up. My best friend, the past me, loved the book, and knew that the future me would. I trusted her.

And Edward had so many pages that I'd yet to see.

I looked up at him tentatively; his eyes were already fixed on me. I found myself unable to break his mesmerizing gaze, and I heard his thoughts chuckling through my mind.

_Good to know I can still do that._

The family had caught up to us by now, shooting over the grassy land and up to the porch. Alice and Jasper were first, Rosalie and Emmett a close second. Carlisle and Esme were last, dancing along at their own pace; in no rush. All three couples were in complete harmony.

"Ready to go in, sis?" Emmet boomed, jumping excitedly.

I nodded, looking at Edward. He held my hand, proceeding to the double doors; flanked by Carlisle. They opened the door swiftly - it was unlocked – to reveal a gigantic open plan room.

The left half of the room was all wood, including the vast flight of stairs attached to the west wall. It was light brown wood, covering the floor of the room. The entire back wall was made of glass, revealing the leafy forest behind the house. The soft cream carpet to the right created a living area occupied by a large plasma TV, and a set of couches arranged in a semi circle in front of the vast screen. There were hundreds of rows of DVDs adorning the wall next to the TV, ready to be inserted into the monstrous DVD player that sat on the cabinet underneath the TV. In the back of the room, there was a raised platform, holding a magnificent black grand piano. Its surface shone as the light from the vast window-wall flooded the space.

It was amazing.

"Wow," I breathed, talking in the high ceilings and seemingly never ending space. "It's...wow." I repeated, at a loss for words.

"Do you like it, Bella?" Alice chirped, skipping in after us.

"Yeah..." I trailed off. "It's..."

"Wow." Edward finished off my sentence, chuckling. I could hear the family babbling furiously in my mind, so I tuned their thoughts down a little until I could concentrate.

"Do you want to see your room, Bella?" Alice squealed, taking me by the hand.

"Alice, I hardly think now is the time-" Carlisle started, but Alice had me up in her arms and was speeding up the stairs before he had a chance to get the next syllable out.

After going up the second flight of stairs, we reached the third floor, and Alice lowered me down gently.

"Here we are!" She announced cheerily, taking me by the hand, about to go into the room – one of the only two doors on the floor – before I stopped her.

"Why did you pick me up?!" I protested – what was I, a baby?

"Sorry, Bella." Alice apologized. "I'm just so used to picking you up so we can get places at vampire speed; your human velocity never really matched up!"

I nodded. "Oh, okay."

Suddenly, I could see Alice's barely concealed memory in my mind's eye. I proceeded carefully, hoping not to alert her to my snooping.

A thin girl with brown hair and wide brown eyes stood at a door – Alice's mind recognized it as her home – with tears pooling in her eyes and running down her cheeks. Fear ran through the memory with intensity, more effective due to my special empathetic power.

"_May I?"_ The memory Alice asked the young girl.

"_You're the first one to ask," _ she whispered brokenly.

Alice smiled and swept her up in her arms, before running out of the door. I didn't know what – it was unclear from the memory – but they were running from something.

I pulled out of her mind silently, and continued listening to her ramblings about how she hoped I would remember this room, and..._blah, blah, blah!_

_Gosh, this pixie can talk!_ I exclaimed.

"So, you ready?" She asked again.

"Lets go!" I squealed, mustering up a little enthusiasm.

She opened the door to a beautiful room – the north wall glass, once again, and heavy drapes hanging from the walls. There was a long leather couch in the middle of the room, and a massive sound system to my right. On the left, there was a wall of CDs. It was blatantly a music lover's room.

"Wow." I repeated. Why was I so incoherent? I wondered. I eyed the drapes. "Good acoustics?" I questioned.

"That's what you said the first time." Edward's soft voice came from behind me, startling me a little.

"I did?" I asked, turning to him.

_Look,_ he began mentally. I entered his mind carefully again, trying not to disturb anything. Edward was staring at the same girl from Alice's memory; as the girl stared at an almost identical room.

"_Good acoustics?" _She asked, in the same timid voice as before.

The memory ended abruptly and I slipped back out of Edward's mind.

"Did you see, Bella?" He asked.

"Yes, I did." I answered.

"I couldn't even feel you in my mind – you're adapting well!" He praised.

"Thank you." I whispered. Somehow, as Edward congratulated me, it felt unwanted, causing a churning feeling in my stomach.

"That was you, you know." He smiled.

"Really?" I gasped. I looked so...different, to what I'd seen of myself in Edward's mind.

"Yes, that's you." He smiled. "Vampires tend to...change, when they make the transition from human to immortal. That's why you wouldn't recognize yourself." He said, chuckling. "You used to call it your 'renovations'!" He chuckled.

So, Bella _had_ known that she'd be turned into a vampire.

_As if you didn't believe that already,_ I chided myself. How could I not have trusted Edward?

"You probably have a lot of questions, Bella." Edward said, much to Alice's dismay.

"But I haven't shown her the clothes, yet!" She whined.

"Not the time, Alice!" Edward frowned, placing his hand on the small of my back and ushering me through the door.

I stealthily listened in to Edward's thoughts. Something had been bothering me as we ran through the trees; as we walked through the house.Why wouldn't he touch me?! He loved Bella to the ends of the earth, I could feel that, and see that. Yet he'd only hold my hand and touch me fleetingly. Was there something _wrong_ with me?!W

There wasn't anything currently running through Edward's mind about touching me. More about my lack of blood. And how much easier it was...and how much more complicated at the same time. I pulled out of Edward's mind, the doubled voices hurting a little.

"Bella?" Carlisle began, as I sat down on the soft couch. "I need to ask you some serious questions now, so do you think you could answer as best as you can?"

I nodded solemnly. The entire family's eyes were trained on me; I could feel them.

"Are you feeling healthy?"

"Pretty much, yes!" I answered cheerily.

Carlisle nodded. "Are you thirsty? Hungry?"

I checked, swallowing and waiting for the grumble of my stomach. "No."

Carlisle frowned. "We'll need it now, Emmett."

Emmett, the large one, ran out of the room, and came back with a red bag. He handed it to Carlisle, and then dashed back out of the room. The rest of the family went with him, spare Edward.

_You don't have to stay, Edward._ I heard inside my mind.

Edward's head shook infinitesimally and Carlisle nodded, ripping the bag open.

"Bella, does this smell appeal to you?" He asked, passing me the bag. I looked at it curiously. What _was_ it?! It was a dark red, shaped weirdly with tubes reaching from the top. There was a large white label on it, with a large red B imprinted on it. I sniffed the bag, cautiously. It didn't smell of anything.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Well, what does it smell of?" Carlisle smiled.

"Um..." I sniffed again. "Nothing." I stared down at the red liquid, wondering why on earth I was holding a bag of red stuff.

"Seriously?" Edward asked stiffly, frowning at me.

"Yeah," I answered, holding the bag stiffly.

"Try drinking some?" Carlisle asked cautiously.

I frowned. "What is it?!" Peering at the label.

I read it.

_A-S 1 RED BLOOD CELLS_

"Blood?" I whispered, staring down at it disgustedly.

"Yes!" Carlisle clapped, laughing a little.

"Ew!" I squealed, passing the bag back carefully. "Take it away!"

I felt two eternal eyes whip around to stare at me.

"What?" I protested. "Stop looking at me!"

"Bella..." Carlisle whispered. "You need to drink this. Just this once."

"It's _blood_!" I protested, shying away from the offending bag.

"Bella...you're a vampire. You know that, right?" Edward said softly.

"Yes, I know!" I exclaimed exasperatedly. "But I'm not drinking blood...it's...eww." I repeated, grimacing.

"Oh you've got to be fucking KIDDING ME!" I heard Jasper roar.

I raised my eyebrows at Edward.

"Bella," Carlisle started seriously, after disposing of the bag. "Vampires are supposed to drink blood."

"I know." I whispered.

"And so it's not right when you don't want to...when you don't _need_ to."

"I'm not right, then?" I whispered. "I'm an...abnormality?"

"No, no!" Edward cried, wrapping his arm around me. "You're my Bella, you're perfect!"

"I'm not perfect, Edward." I whispered. "I don't even remember you."

"Don't worry, Bella." Esme was the one who answered, walking briskly into the room. "You'll remember sometime. And even if you don't, we can tell you all of your memories again!"

I nodded happily, but it was short lived, as Carlisle continued.

"But you understand why we're worried, Bella?" He asked.

"I do. What'll happen to me?" I wondered out loud. "If I don't drink blood?"

The room was silent until Carlisle took a steadying breath. "I don't know, yet. But we'll find out, Bella."

I nodded.

"Can we talk about your powers, now?" He smiled, glad to be on a lighter note, just as I was.

"Sure." I smiled, as the rest of the family reoccupied the room.

"Well, you can read minds, and manipulate emotions." He stated.

"Really?!" I gasped sarcastically. "I never knew!"

My family laughed lightly, smiling at each other like a real family, picture perfect and eternal.

_Bella sure knew how to pick them. _I smiled to myself, remembering a sarcastic comment somewhere in my mind. But this time, I wasn't being sarcastic.

**Yees... the Twilight references. I'm going from memory 'cus I've lent the book to a friend (and my New Moon, too sob) and can't get my hands on it.**

**Anyways, thanks for reading, and review please?**


	12. Past

**Disclaimer: I would do a snazzy little piece about me sobbing my heart out for lack of owning Twilight; but I want to get on with the story so I'll just leave it at this – I don't own Twilight. Sob.**

**A.N. - So I feel really bad that I haven't updated, especially cus' you all left such nice reviews. But I've been ill yesterday and today after a very embarrassing incident with a cricket ball to the head...(that's all I'll say) and I feel the need to write because I feel terribly guilty that I've watched Sweeney Todd, Romeo and Juliet, The Hole, Juno and Atonement when I could have been writing a new chapter!**

**And if you guys spot what I want you to spot, then I will update ever so much quicker, I promise! That's the only clue you're getting!**

"Will you tell me about us?" I asked Edward, lying next to him on our new bed. It was on the fourth floor; the only room Alice hadn't shown me.

The entire room was red, with a four poster bed. There was red carpet on the floor, and there were luscious heavy red curtains covering the small window, leaving the room in a red haze as the light filtered in. It was gorgeous, so luxurious.

Edward had been very wary of showing me the room. Luckily enough, I could read minds just as well as him, and had spotted his reluctance immediately. I knew what the bed was for, of course, but we were content with just talking for now.

"Of course," He smiled.

"Well you used to live in Phoenix with your mother Renee, but you moved to Forks, Washington, to live with your father Charlie so that Renee could travel with her new husband Phil."

"Okay," I smiled. "So where do you come in?"

"Well my family hadn't been in the area for long. And when you came to school, and I found I couldn't read your mind, we became close friends."

I smiled. It sounded so perfect.

"And I asked you out to dinner in Port Angeles, and on the way back from the restaurant I told you I was a vampire."

"That must have taken a lot of courage," I whispered, stroking his hand with my fingertips.

"Not really, it was more courageous of you to not have been scared of me. We went to a beautiful meadow and I told you I loved you. You said you loved me too."

"It seems like a dream," I smiled.

"It really was." He smiled beautifully. "Nothing ever went wrong for us," he chuckled, "despite your terrible luck!"

I looked at his beautiful onyx eyes and found myself leaning in towards him.

The moment our lips pressed together, I found myself burning. He was everywhere, piercing my soul, forever strong.

We could have kissed for hours, or it could have been minutes, but by the time we broke apart for an unneeded gulp of fresh air, I was sure of something.

"Edward," I breathed. "I love you."

His head jerked up to look at me and his smile was breathtaking. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to say that." He pressed his lips to mine again. "I love you too."

"Edward," I heard a voice call from downstairs. Jasper. "Everyone's down here, we want to talk to Bella."

I rolled off the bed and landed gracefully on my feet. "Coming, Husband?" I smiled.

"Of course," He grinned, taking my hand.

We raced down the stairs until we reached the bottom; the Cullen family were sitting clustered in the small couch area.

I nestled comfortably into Edward's embrace as we sat down next to Alice and Jasper on the longest couch. Esme and Carlisle occupied one love seat; Rose and Emmett the other. Jasper gave me a tentative smile as I sat down next to him, which I returned.

"What did you all want to talk about?" I asked, leaning my head on Edward's shoulder.

"Well," Alice whispered, "we wanted to talk about our...relationships with you before you were changed..."

"And then something a little more serious." Carlisle finished.

I nodded. "Sure. Who wants to start?"

"Me!" Emmett boomed, jumping up and down. "You're my little sis, and I love you!" He sat back, wrapping his arm around Rosalie, looking completely pleased with himself.

"Lovely, Emmett." Carlisle said awkwardly. "But I don't think this is working."

"You and I were best friends, Bella." Alice whispered. "You hated shopping but I took you anyway."

Esme smiled softly. "You were my third daughter. You made my first son the happiest he's ever been."

"The same for me, Bella." Carlisle said comfortingly. They really were my parents.

Rosalie coughed lightly. "We got along."

Seemed to me like we didn't at all.

I turned to Jasper. "And you?"

He turned to me slowly, the ghost of a smile on his beautiful eternal features. I heard the beginnings of a billion sentences in his mind, confusing me further.

_You were my everyth-_

_Well I tried to kill you first but then-_

_I didn't get too close to you at-_

_We bonded over Moulin Rouge and then we-_

_I was your fi-_

_I love-_

"We got along." He whispered.

There was an awkward silence in the room before Carlisle cleared his throat. "So, Bella. Do you mind if we talk about that serious subject, now?"

"Of course not, Dad." I smiled. "Go ahead."

While Carlisle cleared his thoughts, Edward breathed in my ear, "You don't have to call them Mom and Dad, you know."

"I know," I breathed back. "But I like it and it makes them happy."

"You're more than I ever deserved, Bella Cullen." He chuckled, kissing my neck.

"Bella," Carlisle started. "Being a vampire comes with only one rule; you can't tell anyone you're a vampire. You can't reveal us. That's all."

I nodded. "Okay, obviously." I paused, pondering.

_Should I really say what I'm thinking right now?_

"What happens if I break the rules?" I whispered.

"That's our Bells!" Emmett boomed, shaking the house to its foundations. I laughed along with him, raising my eyebrows a little.

"Forever curious," Edward breathed in my ear.

"Bella, if you break the rules then the Volturi come." Carlisle said ominously.

"Oooh," I laughed. "Who are the Volturi?"

"It's not something to laugh about, Bella." Esme chided kindly. "The Volturi consist of Aro, Marcus and Caius. They have a small band of guards; Demetri, Heidi, Felix, Alec and Jane, and more."

"Nice." I smiled. "What do they do?"

"They tie up loose ends, and generally keep everything and everyone in check. They're very powerful."

"Okay. Well I won't break the rules, so don't worry about the Volturi chopping my head off."

"No...Bella, that's not it." Carlisle said wearily.

"Oh?"

"Bella, all of the Volturi family and their guards have special powers."

"Wow." I started. "Like Jasper and Edward and me?"

"And me, yes." Alice whispered, joining the conversation.

"Their powers are as follows: Aro can read your history in your mind, every thought you've ever had, but needs to touch the person first." Carlisle informed me. "But you're immune."

"Right." I answered, ready to take it all in.

"Marcus can see the relationships between people and Jane can inflict pain with her thoughts. Alec, Jane's twin, was also turned at a young age." I nodded. "We do not know his power, but we know it is more potent than Jane's. We don't know whether Heidi or Demetri have powers as they have been kept hidden from us."

I nod again. "So why are you telling me this?"

"Aro is very interested in recruiting new members for the Volturi guard; powerful vampires who usually have special powers."

"And he wants Alice and Edward." I confirmed.

Five pairs of eternal eyes flickered to my face, wondering if I was somehow getting my memory back.

"She read my mind." Alice and Edward said simultaneously. They laughed at eachother and then we settled back into silence.

"Aro hasn't met me, yet." Jasper smiled. "So I'm safe."

"But you're not." Carlisle sighed.

"I'm not?"

"You met the Volturi last year after Edward attempted suici-"

"We just met them briefly in Italy, where they live." Edward interrupted Carlisle hastily. "And when they found that you were immune to Jane and Aro's powers, they were very interested in you."

I nodded slightly, listening to Alice's mind. "They're coming for me." I whispered.

"You don't have to do anything they want," Edward promised me, his voice low and possessive in my ear.

Alice's vision changed.

"They'll take me by force if I don't." I told the family.

Esme let out a low gasp, and Carlisle ground his teeth together audibly.

"Alice," I whispered. "How do your visions work?"

"When you change your mind, the future changes." She began quietly. "So say, if you were in a wedding and you were toying with the idea of objecting then I wouldn't be able to see it, because you're not sure of what you're going to do."

The entire room was deathly quiet. Had I missed something?

"So the future resides in one decision. You could change your future just by brushing your hair behind your ear. Do you understand?"

"Yes. So that means that if I change my mind about what I'll do when the Volturi get here, we'll be able to see the different scenarios?"

"Yes." She smiled. "You always had good ideas, Bella. Do you want to get started? You can come up to my room?"

"Okay." I smiled. I hadn't spent any time with Alice yet, and curiously, I heard a little wavering in her thoughts now and again as to whether she liked me. It confused me.

So I was glad to take her up on her offer.

**Did I get all the Volturi in? And Okay, so I lied. You got another HUGE clue in the chapter as to what I wanted you guys to notice...and if you don't notice it then I may just go completely bonkers.**

**Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!**


	13. Vampiric Sponge

**A.N. - Ooh I love all of your little anecdotes and theories! Here's what I wanted you guys to find -**

**It's more of a little time saving thing I used that'll come back for future reference. The room's description is exactly the same as Bella and Jasper's 'room' – the guest room in the Cullens' Forks house. Which means it looks exactly the same. There are reasons for this but I'll reveal those later. **

**And **_**Into.Your.Arms **_**was the only one who got it! You guys are SO brain missing! I seem to have gotten a rep for putting huge vex making clues in my chapters though, so I don't blame you guys! I love you all the same.**

**And I got a LOAD more reviews for my story after I put in that question – how bubbly! I think I'll do that more often :D**

**And here are the very very long answers to all of your questions:**

_**-Why is Edward keeping their less-than perfect pasts a secret?**_

**Edward is keeping all of this a secret from Bella because he's got the chance to give her a fresh start. Throughout all of Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse, he makes mistakes that he wishes he could erase – ones that he swears he will never forgive himself for. He wishes he could take all he did back, and begin their relationship anew. And now he can. He wants Bella to believe that everything they had was perfect, because even though human Bella swore she never blamed him, he was never sure because he's unable to read her thoughts. He thinks if he tells her the truth then she might leave him, or think less of him. He just wants to be her knight in shining armor. -cue "Aww"s-**

_**-Why did Alice add in that little snub about objecting?**_

**Alice is very bitter. She's trying so hard not to be, but she's hurting and it's the only way she has left to express herself. Her husband slept with her best friend – imagine it. The two people you trust the most betraying you on the highest level. It hurts her. And now, she hasn't got anyone to take it out on. Her best friend has lost her memory, this hurts her enough. But to her it seems petty – the die have rolled snake eyes for Bella and she's had to start her life all over, and Alice is still quite in the middle of an argument with Bella. Bella just doesn't know it. Alice loves Jasper and can't continue hating him, so she feels that losing Bella's memory really is the snub she wanted to get back at him, but she can't help but add in some snide little comments now and again. Wouldn't you? So the wedding snub was directed at Jasper.**

_**-Why didn't Edward tell Bella that she figured out he was a vampire?**_

**Because this means including Jacob. We all know Bella wouldn't have worked it out half as quick as she did had Jacob not told her about the old Quileute Legends. And Edward is worried that if he tells her about Jacob, then she will either regret her change and go back to Jacob (remember, he's already lost her to his brother, give the guy a break!) or try and meet him, putting herself in danger. Edward wants to make sure he doesn't make any mistakes again (see my first point) and he sees Jacob as a mistake – if he hadn't left in New Moon then Bella would never have gotten as close as she did to Jacob, and she wouldn't have had the unnecessary heartbreak. He's just protecting her. Plus, if she knows about the werewolves and the treaty, then she may think it's safe to go back to Forks and it'll be more dangerous for her later on.**

_**-Why is Edward being so over-protective of Bella when it comes to the Volturi?**_

**Well, first off, Edward doesn't want Bella to be part of their guard. He promised Human Bella that he wouldn't let her feed on humans, and being part of the Volturi would mean that she'd probably end up feeding on humans if she ever starts feeding on blood, or she'd be around those feeding on humans and think less of them. He wants to keep his Bella safe.**

_**-Will Bella remember everything? Will she get her memory back?**_

**In time. Ah, only I know how that will happen :D**

_**-Will Jasper tell her?**_

**-Cackles- No, Jasper wouldn't do that. He won't tell her straight out, put it that way!**

**AND DAMN THE VOLTURI! THERE ARE TOO F-ING MANY OF THEM! I MEAN, AAAARGGH! If I got something wrong then I got it wrong, I can't be bothered to go back and change it, even if it's so not bubbly. **

**Right, I shall be revealing Bella's power in this chapter. I'm not sure if you guys will like it; considering I ran it by another twilighter a few months back and they said it wasn't very likely, but there we go. **

**I've updated this early because I feel you guys deserved it! (I tried uploading this last night but FF was being vex making)  
**

**I just wrote 2 pages of an authors note. That is so bogus.**

Alice and I had been panning for the future for around an hour when each image began to turn up the same.

"Isn't it working?" I asked, confused.

"It should be," she answered.

"Well...it's all turning around as the same scenario." I said, confused.

"Well... I don't think it's to do with my sight. I think it's the actual scenario. It's not changing."

"What do you mean it's not changing, Alice?" I gasped.

"You can see for yourself, Bella." She said frantically. "Change your mind again!"

She was right. In every scenario I ended up being taken away by milky pale, red eyed vampires.

"Wh-wh-what are we going to d-d-do?" I stuttered.

Edward came barging into the room with Jasper. "What do you mean it's not changing?!"

"I...it's..." I was lost for words. Aro would take me away. Panic bubbled up in my throat.

"Don't worry, Bella." Jasper murmured, sitting down next to me and sending me some calming waves. "We won't let them get to you."

Listening in to Alice's mind, I heard the change. "Oh, God!" I gasped, lurching forward.

"It can't happen," I hissed. "I won't let it."

I wouldn't let any of my family die for me.

"How do they even know?" Emmett said, appearing with the rest of the family at the door. "I mean...it's so fast!"

"I know." Carlisle said thoughtfully. "They shouldn't have caught on so quick, really. When are they coming?"

Alice closed her eyes and traveled to my future. "Two days."

All of the air had suddenly left my lungs, and I collapsed to the floor. "They're coming for me."

The Volturi were coming. I could see their pale faces and blood red eyes staring back at me out of my family's memories. And I didn't want to go. I wouldn't. But if I didn't then they'd take me by force. And if my Cullens tried to defend me then they would die.

I was so scared.

I was aware, once I focused on Jasper's frantic voice in my head, that he was speaking to Edward. _ Her emotions are about to emanate all through the house, within seconds! It'll be doubled by mine and her power, and I can't do anything, Edward. We have to let it run its course._

I shuddered, curling up into a ball, and instantly, the Cullens that occupied my room were on the floor too, shuddering with me. Their thoughts raised to more than a fuzz, but more to a chorus of shouting in my head that made me sob harder.

My distress didn't fade as I shook, but I began to control myself enough that the others could move again. Alice crawled up to me and pulled my face up to hers to put her hands on either side of my face.

"Bella, you'll be okay. I promise you. We'll figure this out. Stop panicking." I nodded and tried to listen to her words.

I ran through every possible way to escape this, and there was no other alternative. I would have to leave with them.

Abruptly, I was pulled from my thoughts, into some kind of illusion. It was me, but I seemed to be looking onto the illusion as an observer; I wasn't in my body. It was like I sat in a cinema, but it was life sized; the movie being played right in front of me. I was running away from the large house that I'd only just settled into a mere 5 days ago with the vampires I recognized from my husband's memory. The Volturi. I kept on looking behind me warily as I glided. My red eyes suddenly widened, but then everything went black.

My vision swam and the room appeared in front of my eyes, again. Edward and Esme were crouched in front of me, worry plain on their faces and in their emotions.

"Bella?" Edward shook me. "Bella, are you okay?" I shook my head.

"I don't know what happened. I was in a field and I was there...but I was watching and I don't...I don't...I..." I trailed off and started to sob, as Esme put her arms around me.

Alice was standing in the corner next to the blonde girl. What was her name again? This was too confusing. How was I meant to remember the names of all these vampires? Especially when I could barely remember my name.

She spoke up, frowning. "Bella, I think you had a vision."

That threw me.

"I had a what?" I stopped sobbing to listen.

"What did you see?" She asked tentatively. I thought back. I could see two things, now. I could see me sitting in the living room, sobbing...all alone...and I could see the first vision.

"I saw myself running away."

She exchanged some thoughts with Edward, which I listened to. _I saw that, Edward. I think she's got my power, too._

Edward spoke out loud. "How could this happen? She's got all of our powers?!" He ran his hands through his untidy bronze hair. I heard the penny drop inside his head before he voiced his thoughts.

"YOU'RE LEAVING!?" He roared, turning back to me. "You can't!" He neared to me, and I shook my head.

"I've got to, Edward. I won't let you all die."

"Damn right we're not gonna die!" Emmett boomed.

"Especially not for you," the blonde sneered. I remembered her name. Rosalie.

"Oh shut up, Rosalie!" I snapped, sending her a death glare. "Edward, it's the best way."

"But I promised you, Bella! I promised I wouldn't let you do anything I wouldn't. And I wouldn't do this!"

"But there's nothing we can do, Edward!" I protested. "They're coming."

"I know." He whispered sadly. "Can you see what they'll say, Alice?"

"No." She whispered, back to her subdued self. "All I get is flickers, they're not sure what they'll say."

"But they're coming." Jasper said ominously. "We know they're coming."

"Yes, that's for sure." Emmett growled.

"What about her powers?" Rosalie asked, speaking up for the first time. "Where've the visions come from?!"

"I've got a theory," Carlisle began. I could swear that Carlisle knew everything. "Do you mind me telling everyone this theory, Bella?"

"Of course not." I smiled.

"The only plausible explanation I can come up with is that Bella's power is to absorb other vampires' powers." He paused, and I heard Edward mutter something under his breath that if I had tried to, I could have heard.

"It really is the only plausible explanation." Carlisle's thoughts were carefully guarded; he must have been used to the constant invasion after living with Edward for so many years.

He continued, "I believe that when she has physical contact with another vampire, then she absorbs their power, be it your mind reading or Jasper's empathy. We'll just have to continue on, I don't see that we can do anything." Edward nodded, and I just stayed still, my head facing down in my lap.

I was listening to his thoughts, and those of the rest of the family. I couldn't help but intrude. Edward's thoughts were the most complex to me, examining every possible idea that could amount to the reason why I was able to use his and the rest of the family's power. I tried not to focus on his thoughts too much; considering that he had the family's thoughts drifting in and out of his head at the same time as I heard them in mine, the effect was amplified when I heard his thoughts. It hurt.

"But I've touched Bella before!" Alice contradicted.

"True," Carlisle allowed. "I think it's facial contact."

I raised an eyebrow. "Facial contact?!"

"Yes. If you think back, when did you start hearing our thoughts?"

I thought back, but Edward was already answering for me. "After I'd touched your face."

"And you began gaining use of your empathy after I felt your forehead." Jasper added.

"So." I said scathingly. "I'm a vampiric sponge. Oh, how Aro will love me!"

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**I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO NAME THIS CHAPTER. So if you've got an idea, let me know.**

**I just read back over my AN at the start, and I sound so bogus! I've been re-reading the Uglies/Pretties/Specials/Extras series from Scott Westerfeld and I'm picking up the lingo, hah! Well, next chapter'll be a little bit more upbeat. MOVIE MARATHON!**

**(and if you're still reading, there's a clue to the next chapter in my author's notes. CACKLES! So if you read all of my author's notes, then you should have an inkling? This really is an incredibly easy one this time guys!)**


	14. In the Name of Love

**Disclaimer: I own not the glory of Twilight. **

**AN - I'm very aware that if I didn't update for a while then I would certainly obtain more reviews, but I've been in a funny mood this weekend, which has inspired me to write. Lucky lot you are! I won't be updating like I have been in the last few days during the week, so this is making up for it :) Enjoy!  
**

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"And we're here, because?" Rosalie sneered sarcastically.

Emmett sighed overdramatically. Just like he did everything else. "Baby, we're having a movie marathon! You get that, right?"

"Of course I get that," Rosalie murmured, her tone softer while speaking to her love. "I'm just wondering why the hell we're sitting here watching _movies_ when we really should be preparing for the Volturi's visit _tomorrow_!"

"Because Bella can't remember seeing any films, silly!" Emmett answered.

"The Volturi are coming late at night, anyway, Rose," Alice offered. "We've got plenty of time to be a..._normal_ family for at least one day."

"Yeah," Emmett piped in again, "'cause Bella can't remember seeing any movies!"

I shook my head. "I didn't ask to watch any movies. I agree with Rosalie."

"Well you're outnumbered!" Esme laughed gently, walking into the lounge with a bowlful of popcorn.

An awkward silence passed through the room as we eyed the popcorn, and I felt the need to break it.

"Esme," I proceeded cautiously. "Why did you make popcorn?"

Carlisle, sitting with his arm around her, coughed lightly. "It seems fitting." He seemed reluctant to go on, so I raised my eyebrows. "And we wanted to see if you'd eat it."

I eyed the large bowl carefully. It did smell appetizing. I sighed lengthily, as the family watched me with barely contained curiosity. "Give it here."

"Yay!" Alice exclaimed, in an unnaturally bouncy mood. "Let's watch movies!"

Alice popped the disc into the machine before gliding back to her position next to Jasper on the couch he, Edward and I occupied.

"What are we watching?" Jasper asked, speaking up for the first time.

"No idea!" Alice exclaimed happily. "I just picked up the closest disc!"

"I bet we'll end up watching a terrible horror movie about vampires!" Carlisle laughed. "Are you at least going to _try_ the popcorn, Bella?" He asked somberly.

"Well," I sighed, "I guess I am." I popped a handful into my mouth. It tasted buttery and salty on my tongue for a second before venom coated each piece.

"Ew!" I proclaimed around a mouthful, hopping up from my seat on Edward's lap to spit it out in the kitchen.

I left the bowl there, and walked back into the lounge to expectant eyes. "Don't ever make me eat food again, Dad!"

All but Edward and Carlisle laughed, and I went back to the couch, sitting in between Jasper and my husband.

We'd somehow gotten closer in the few hours that had passed. I felt like I belonged here, seated next to my husband and brother. Curiously, I felt more at home with Jasper and Edward more than any of the other Cullens.

I understood my connection with Edward, but Jasper? Had I not heard in his thoughts that he'd tried to kill me!? He must have been joking. I was _sure_ he was joking.

Wasn't he?

He seemed plenty content now, as we sat companionably next to eachother. Our other halves seemed to tense as we took this position every time we reached the lounging area of the downstairs level in the Cullen home, for a reason I couldn't comprehend.

But Jasper had become my favorite brother. Somehow, without me saying anything, or him saying anything, we'd formed a bond that was stronger than mine and Alice's – despite her claiming we'd been best friends.

I turned my attention back to the movie as the opening credits began.

"Oh, fuck." I heard Edward's low oath and I turned to him confusedly. "Alice, maybe we should watch something else?"

"Yes!" Alice said, darting up to the machine.

"Woah, woah, why can't we watch it?" I asked, turning to Jasper. "What's happening?"

"You don't want to watch this movie, Bella." He whispered, low and throaty.

"Why not?" I asked, turning my head from side to side, looking for an explanation. "I want to watch it!"

"No, Bella!" Edward smiled, kissing me softly. "You never liked this movie, it upset you. We should watch something else."

"Well, human Bella didn't like it, but I might!" I protested. "I want to watch it."

"No, Bella, you don't." Jasper growled.

"Yes, Jasper, I do!" I retorted. "What's gotten into all of you?"

Esme, Rose, Emmett and Carlisle were staring fixedly at their hands, Edward was alert at my side, Alice was sitting by the TV and Jasper was like a statue; his jaw clenched and eyes black.

"What aren't you telling me?!" I asked exasperatedly.

"Nothing, Bella." Jasper sighed. "We can watch it."

The silence that followed was nothing but awkward, but I ignored it. I was engrossed in the movie.

"What's this song called?" I asked.

"_Love lifts us up where we belong. Where eagles fly on a mountain high."_

"_Love makes us act like we are fools, throw our lives away for one happy day!"_

"_We could be heroes. Just for one day."_

"Elephant Love Medley." Jasper answered, staring at me intensely.

I delved into his mind. Jasper was on a couch identical to this with a young girl with brown hair, and brown eyes. She looked strangely fragile as she sang with him, but he regarded her with so much love.

The memory seemed too intimate and I withdrew from his mind, feeling like an intruder.

I eyed Alice warily. The girl in his memory had not been her. I understood! Jasper didn't like this movie, not me. Something had happened to this girl and watching this movie reminded Jasper of her.

"I don't want to watch the movie anymore," I announced, getting up and ejecting it straight in the middle of a scene.

"Why?" Edward asked, confused.

"It's upsetting Jasper." I said, giving Jasper a sympathetic smile.

He took a deep breath and excused himself, walking into the kitchen.

"I better go after him," I whispered, starting after him.

"Bella," Edward started, calling me back, but I ignored him.

Jasper was sitting in the garden, his emotions flickering from despair, to love, to anger.

I sat down next to him silently. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he whispered. "You don't remember."

"Who was she?" I asked tentatively, putting my hand in his.

"Who was who?" He asked, looking down at our intertwined hands.

"The girl you were thinking about when we were watching the movie?"

"You don't know her," he whispered brokenly.

"Tell me about her?" I asked cautiously.

He seemed to deliberate for a moment before standing up and taking me with him, loping to the surrounding forest. I hadn't been further than the garden before now.

"Are you sure you want to know about her, Bella?" He whispered, as we sat down against a broken tree.

"Well, I'd like to hear about her," I began, "but if you'd rather not tell me then I'll understand."

"No, I want to tell you about her," he smiled, clenching my hand tighter.

"She was...amazing. I was never close to her, really, even though she seemed to always be around our house. It was too dangerous to get close to her." He said sadly, and I clasped his hand tighter in comfort.

"She was perfect. I couldn't have her, obviously. She was human, and taken. I hadn't even entertained the notion of going more than a foot toward her until my family stupidly left me alone with her for a few days. Of course, I could feel her emotions. She was intoxicated with alcohol Emmett had left and lust was radiating off her.

"I felt the same way towards her. We bonded over Moulin Rouge," he laughed quietly.

The words seemed familiar to me, but I couldn't remember where from.

"After a long weekend, we tried to go back to normal. It was impossible. She was so worried everyone would find out, as was I. Neither of us were single." He admitted quietly.

"You were with Alice," I acknowledged.

"Yes. And it was so stupid of me, but I fell in love with the girl. It was ten times more powerful than _anything_ I'd ever felt. I loved her more than anything in the entire world. Then Carlisle told us that our love wasn't real and I'd been manipulating her."

"No!" I cried. "You wouldn't do that!"

"I know, and it upset her that everyone thought that. She had to leave with her husband to go somewhere, and before she went I said goodbye. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

"Oh, Jasper." I whispered, looking at him sympathetically.

"She cried a lot. I knew she felt the same way, when we said goodbye. But she was so sure she'd be coming back. I didn't have the heart to tell her."

"I'm so sorry, Jasper," I cried, hugging him tightly. I could feel him breathing in my scent as he buried his head in my hair.

"What happened to her, Jasper?" I asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"You said you had to say goodbye, why didn't she come back?"

"She came back." He answered somberly. "But she wasn't the same anymore."

"Why?" I breathed. "What happened to her when she left, Jasper?"

"She died." He whispered.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper." I whispered.

"Don't worry about it."

"Well, honestly," I murmured, "if it's any consolation, when I saw her in that memory, I could tell she really loved you."

"I'm sorry Bella, but it isn't."

**I wasn't going to stop here, but I thought I'd leave it here for now. Back to watching Nightmare before Christmas! Review, please? I'd like to get at least _one_ review more than I got for Luxuria by the time I've finished this story :)**


	15. Visiting

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Twilight.**

**AN – Again, like the last chapter, it's one of those "I've gone completely crazy and so I'm bombarding you guys with chapters." Enjoy it while you can 'cus you won't get any this week ;) I obviously don't know what Caius and Alec's powers are so I'm making them up, hah!**

_**I originally wrote this on Sunday, but I thought it would be nicer if I waited for you guys to drop some reviews before I gave you the newest one ;)**_

**& I sorta just threw this up on ff without editing, so let me know where i've made mistakes?**

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"How long?" I whispered, smoothing my shirt down nervously.

"Ten minutes, I'd say." Alice murmured. "Though you should be able to see just as well, Bella."

"Are we going to tell Aro about my powers?" I asked briskly, looking up at Edward.

"I think it's best to wait for him to ask." He answered tightly. He'd been very awkward around me since I'd had my chat with Jasper the day before.

"So who am I targeting?" I asked casually.

"Targeting?" Carlisle asked, curious as always.

"Well you said they each have a power; who's shall I take?"

"Excellent Bella!" Carlisle exclaimed. "Well, lets see."

"Jane should be your first target." Edward piped in. "And then Alec."

"What about Aro?" I asked timidly. "If he's able to see every thought your mind has ever had then that must be a good power-"

"No!" Edward cut me off harshly. "You've already got my power, I think it's best you stay away from Aro."

"Yes," Alice agreed warily. "Try Demetri and Marcus. You'll have the power of tracking and be able to view relationships."

"No!" Edward cautioned. "Don't try Marcus. Being able to view relationships isn't the best power you can get. I suggest you try Caius, we don't know what his power is."

"Yes," Alice agreed again. "Demetri, Jane, Alec and Caius."

"Well how can I avoid touching Aro and Marcus' faces if I touch the others'?" I asked, confusedly.

"I suggest you merely shake hands with Aro and Marcus." Carlisle explained.

We had found that the main members of the Volturi guard, and the Volturi themselves would be coming to visit. I was obviously a special case, according to Emmett.

Aro, Marcus and Caius lead their guards into the room, awing me with their beauty.

All three had pale skin; it was almost translucent. Caius had shoulder length hair that was as white as his skin. Marcus and Aro both had jet black hair, Marcus' longer than Aro's. They moved like ghosts, not unlike their appearance.

"Isabella," Aro greeted me kindly. "How are you?"

"Wonderful, thank you Aro. How was your trip?" I asked companionably, leaning in and kissing the air to the right and left of his face.

_Genius!_ I heard Edward hiss mentally. I tried to hide my smirk.

"A little tiresome; we would have come earlier had we not been fixing some trouble in the South. Again!" He laughed, before moving on toward Carlisle.

"Marcus," I acknowledged kindly, not daring to repeat the action I had with Aro. Edward had informed me that Marcus had lost his mate in a battle, and was now an apathetic zombie, with an aversion to all things intimate in the least.

"Bella." He nodded, before moving on toward Carlisle as Aro had.

"Caius!" I smiled, leaning in and kissing him on both cheeks.

"Isabella." He growled, unimpressed by my uncalled for intimacy with him.

I retreated to Edward, intertwining my hand in his.

_Anything?_ He asked

I shrugged lightly, before turning back to the door.

A young girl walked hand in hand with a boy her age; I would say they were 8 to 10 years old. The girl approached me first, letting go of the young boy's hand. I took in her appearance quickly; very tiny with lank, pale brown hair trimmed short. Wide eyes and full lips, with a small figure. She was beautiful. She smiled at me, her face beatific.

"And who are you?" I asked sweetly, leaning in to kiss each of her cheeks.

"Jane," she scoffed, "do not pretend you don't remember me. We met earlier this year when we cleaned up after that new born fight-"

"Jane!" Carlisle cried, pulling her attention away from me.

_Fight?_ I wondered. I tried to concentrate on the task at hand. _I'd ask Edward later._

"And you are?" I smiled at the young boy, reaching down to kiss him too.

"Alec." He was almost identical to Jane, and I wondered what power he possessed. "And you are Isabella Cullen, I presume."

"Yes," I smiled at him.

Demetri, I supposed, was next. He had a curious image; olive complexion which looked odd combined with his chalky pallor. He had jet black hair not unlike Aro's, which waved to his shoulders.

"Isabella." He greeted me, holding out his hand to shake. I took it, and leant in to kiss him too.

_The girl's kissing everyone!_ Caius thought.

"And you are?" I asked the man I assumed to be Demetri.

"Demetri, Isabella. I'm surprised you forget so easily."

"Well, there's a reason for that," Carlisle said, ushering them in. "But we will explain later."

"Yes," Edward smiled. "What is the reason for your visit?"

"You should know, Edward," Aro smiled. "But we will speak out loud for the benefit of the family."

"Bella, as you know, we wish for you to become part of our guard."

"You do?" I asked confusedly.

_Perfect, Bella. _ Edward complimented.

"Maybe we should explain, first," Carlisle began. "After Bella was changed, she lost her memory."

"All of it?" Jane laughed.

"Everything." Edward growled.

"That is very unfortunate," Aro crooned, reaching over to wrap his arm around me. "And such a beautiful thing you are too, Bella."

"Thank you," I whispered. He reached out to touch my face, but Alice called his attention back toward her.

"So, Aro. I assume you've got a few questions."

"Her powers? Anything?"

"She is currently immune to all in our family," Carlisle began. "And she also seems to be...immune to blood."

A gasp resounded around the circle of the Italian vampires. "Immune to blood?"

"She refuses to drink anything; the smell wasn't appetizing to her."

"Curious," Aro said, staring at me. "Do you mind if we all try?" He asked Edward.

"Yes," he growled.

"What do they want to do, Edward?" I asked quietly.

"They want to test their powers on you to see if you are immune." He growled.

"I'll do it." I answered confidently.

"No, Bella, you won't." Edward growled again, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"I believe I'm my own person, Edward. Aro, you can do it."

"Obliged to, Isabella. Do you mind stepping back?" He asked the others. I stayed firmly in my spot, ready for whatever the Volturi and their guard brought me.

First, they tried out their less potent powers on me; shaking Aro's hand, trying Jane's power of pain. Nothing touched me.

"Now, Carlisle, Cullens, could you please step back a little? We wouldn't want you getting caught in this."

"This what?" I asked, but my answer was soon given.

A wall of fire spread around the Volturi and their guard, but they were protected inside.

"What am I meant to do?" I asked, confused.

"Stay back, Bella!" Edward shouted, restrained by Carlisle and Emmett. Jasper looked as worried as him.

_Leave her be, Edward._ I heard Alice's soft voice command.

"What am I meant to do, Aro?" I asked again.

"The fire is Alec's power. He can kill any vampire with his flames. Caius' power is that of a shield; we are untouched by anyone with him guarding us. We want you to try and walk through the fire, and through our shield."

"No!" Edward bellowed, but I ignored him.

I concentrated hard on using Alec and Caius' power. A thin glowing shield surrounded me, and I walked swiftly through the fire, and into Caius' circle around the guard.

The Volturi and their guard stood motionless, mouths agape as they witnessed my feat.

"Surprised?" I laughed, as Alec lowered his flames. "You can open your shields, now, Caius." I laughed again, lowering my own.

"It seems you didn't tell us the whole story, Carlisle." Aro murmured, staring at me in horror. "She possesses many powers, it seems."

"Yes," Carlisle smiled, tired of lying. "Bella has the power of mind reading, empathy, is psychic, is an excellent tracker, can create pain through thought, can create fire and can create a shield."

"But this is all but mine and Marcus' powers!"

"We agreed that she didn't need yours or Marcus', because yours is a mirror of mine, and she really is unneeding of Marcus' power when she has Jasper's."

"What are you!?" He asked me, his eyes stricken.

"I'm a vampiric sponge!" I giggled, leaning into Edward's embrace.

**I wrote tons more after this but I decided to split the chapters – I've given you guys 4 chapters (or is it more?) in one weekend, give me a break?! And I think I'm getting a "thing" for ending chapters with "vampiric sponge"! So, yep. Please review, I'd like to get over what I got for Luxuria! Thanks guys, I love your reviews!**


	16. Volturi

**Disclaimer: **"**My name is Genie, YEAH, Give you three wishes, YEAH, to see me shake it, YE-"**

"**Okay, I don't wanna see you shake it, I just wanna own Twilight. Got that?"**

**And I own neither Bring It On or Twilight!**

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**AN – Awhh, gotta love you guys! Your reviews make me feel all smushy inside :D Which is why I try to reply to all of them. :) And thanks to **_**theregoesguts**_** for telling me why everyone was reviewing with sentences like "BELLA'S PETER PETRELLI!" **

**This is a very short chapter. I thought it was a little more powerful that way; showing how Bella makes her choice. **

"How?!" Marcus asked, stepping forward. "You touched Aro and I but you don't have our powers!"

"Facial contact only." Rosalie smirked, hands on hips.

_Oh, **now** she's on my side!_ I thought exasperatedly.

"She's fucking Peter Petrelli!" Emmett boomed, laughing his head off.

"Emmett, language." Esme cautioned.

"Since when have you been watching Heroes?" Alice asked, turning to Emmett.

"Well," he started, but Aro gained my attention, and I ignored the conversation between Alice and Emmett.

"We could use your powers in the Volturi, Bella." Aro whispered, putting his white hand on my shoulder.

Careful not to touch my face.

"I'm sure you could, but I'm not one for being a guard and standing to attention," I laughed.

"No, Bella," he whispered even more urgently, pulling me to one side, away from my family.

Emmett was explaining the plotline of _Heroes_ to the remaining Volturi and their guard. Figures.

"Yes, I'm serious Jane!" I heard Emmett crowing. "They all end up finding out they have powers and then they prevent catastrophes and save humanity! They're all superheroes!"

"You read that from Wikipedia, Emmett!" Edward laughed.

"Well yes, Eddie! The first season was when they found out they had powers – that was _awesome_! And then The Company were all stealing them and controlling them and it was really-"

I tuned out. Aro was staring at me intently, ready to begin his persuasion.

"You could rule with us; be a Volturi queen! You could be the first Volturi female ruler!" He breathed, grabbing my hand.

"I'd rather not, Aro." I whispered, meeting his blood red eyes with my own.

"But Bella, think about what you could do!" He hissed, clenching my hand tighter. "You're going to be the most powerful vampire in the history of vampires! Come and live with us in Volterra! Bring Edward and Jasper too, for all I care! Do it, Bella! Take a step towards the _right_ decision!"

I was about to answer him, but something stopped me. "Why would I want Jasper to come?" I whispered.

"Bella, there are things your so-called family aren't telling you. Come to Volterra, be a part of _my_ family. We won't treat you like a baby, we'll treat you like our Queen! When you lost your memory, your family took the opportunity! They have _lied_ to you, Bella. _I_ can help you find all of your memories! You'll remember everything, nothing will be hidden to you anymore, Bella!"

"Really?" I breathed, intrigued. I wanted my memories back more than anything.

"Yes, really," he hissed. "You don't even have to stay in Volterra, you could come and go as you please! Just tell me you'll join the Volturi and you can have _anything_ you want. If you wish, we'll only meet once every decade! And we'll supply you with money, a home, whatever you need, Bella!"

His eyes widened a little, pulling me in. "Say yes, Bella. Say yes, join the Volturi and you can have _everything_ you want." He paused for emphasis, knowing his words already had me hooked. "Say yes."

"_Yes."_ I whispered.

_**Not sure if I like this chapter. I'll try and update again soon :D Please review!**_

**I'm dedicating this chapter to _ScatterdParchment, _who's birthday it is today. She's the reason you guys got an extra chapter! (albeit short) So a huge happy birthday to her :)  
**

**xx**


	17. Dark

**Disclaimer: I own not the wonder of Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse!**

**AN – Oh, I LOVE your angry reviews! I want to take this little note to thank ALL of you who review – I know I try to reply to nearly all reviews, but sometimes that just isn't possible, and I think that you guys really do deserve to have some kind of official-unofficial thanks from me. **

**I checked my stats last week; the first time I'd ever done so on the website, as it happens. Luxuria had 558 reviews...and 59467** ** hits. Avaritia has had 619 reviews – I LOVE YOU GUYS - and 17593 hits. The Game, my very unpopular one shot (that I was considering taking down) has had 6 reviews. And 336 hits. **

**To those of you who reviewed, thank you so much. Honestly, the reviews are the only reason that I continue to write. And it shows how many of you actually take the time out to review. Thank you so much, all of my reviewers, for taking the time to review and make me happy. I doubt I'd be happy whatsoever otherwise.**

**_So, this chapter is dedicated to all of my reviewers; I love you guys._ **

**Oh, and I'm giving you a lemon this chapter. You guys know I'm not too confident with writing them, haa, so if you wish to, skip it. I've left a little note as to where you should stop. :)**

"What?" Aro gasped, his tone disbelieving. "You'll be a part of the Volturi?"

"Of course I will," I smiled. "As long as you keep your part of the bargain."

"What bargain?" Edward asked pleasantly, stepping up behind me.

"Bella's agreed to join the Volturi." Aro smirked.

"What?!" Edward shouted, advancing towards me. "You're joking, right?"

"No, Edward," I whispered. "I'm not."

"No, Bella! You can't do this!"

"Yes, Edward, I can. This is the most sensible way." I was hardly going to tell him that I was only joining in order to regain my memory.

"What, to guard these vampires when you're less than a year old! It's not sensible in the least, Bella!"

"She won't be guarding." Aro said tightly, staring at Edward. "She's to become a part of the original family – myself, Marcus, Caius and our mates. But she will officially rule with myself and the males. She's to be the first Volturi Queen."

Silence shrouded the room, as its occupants absorbed the meaning of Aro's words.

"_She_ is going to be a Volturi _Queen_?!" Jane screeched, her beautiful voice making the motion even harsher. "I'm going to have to serve _her_?!"

"No, Jane, you won't have to _serve_ me," I said condescendingly. "I won't be residing in Volterra."

"You won't?" Rosalie murmured, surprised. She was twirling a thin lock of her blonde hair around her fingers, seemingly indifferent to my answer.

"No, I won't. I'm just going to confer with the rest of them now and again. I'm working_ with _the Volturi, not _for_." I smiled at Aro. "We don't know the ins and outs of it yet," I laughed.

"Of course you don't know the fucking ins and outs of it Bella!" Edward bellowed, startling me. "You have no fucking inkling of what you're doing here! You're throwing yourself to the sharks!"

"Sharks couldn't hurt me," I whispered to Edward.

"Language, please, Edward!" Esme chided, always the parent.

"Well, Aro, if you don't mind, I'd like to speak with Bella and the family about this before we give you a definite answer." Carlisle said courteously.

"Of course," Aro smiled toothily. "We'll be residing in the area for a while anyway, a few things to check up on. Let us know when you're ready to confer." He waved his arms in a sweeping motion, gathering his guards and companions and gliding away from us. But not before giving me a sharp nod.

I knew what this meant. _You've already agreed to this. Your answer is definite whatever the matter._

And I was sure. I wanted to be protected, and I wanted to know the truth. I'd be Isabella of the Volturi for the duration of my existence. I would be Queen of Vampires. Woah, that had a ring to it!

"Bella, let's talk about this sensibly, okay?" Edward started, calmly.

"No! Edward, I've made my choice sensibly, just because you don't think it's sensible doesn't mean it isn't!"

"Bella, you _can't_ join the Volturi!"Edward droned, taking my face in his hands. "I promised you that I wouldn't let you do anything stupid – and this is stupid!"

"I never asked you to keep me safe, Edward," I sneered unthinkingly. "I know what I want and this is it; I don't need you telling me what to do!"

The room was quiet for a few seconds before Edward ran out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him.

"Bella, are you serious about joining the Volturi?" Carlisle asked quietly.

"I'm one hundred percent serious, Carlisle." I said gravely. "I want to join the Volturi. I'm going to go to Volterra with Aro and we're going to set this in stone, then I'm going to come back here and continue with my life. Aro said I'd only have to meet them once a decade; how will that have an impact on our life?"

I turned to look at the faces of my family; I was hoping for some support. All I found was a distraught Esme, a grave Carlisle, an indifferent Rosalie, and a confused Emmett; Alice was staring at Jasper. Jasper was staring intently at me.

"Bella, it will have an impact. Aro and the Volturi aren't going to just let you coast along with them, they'll want something in return."

"No, they won't." I assured Carlisle. "I'm more powerful than all of them put together; I'm sure they won't try anything."

"Okay," Carlisle whispered. "I see we can't do anything to appease you; you don't know us well enough yet to take heed of our words."

"Thank you, Carlisle." I murmured.

"I better go and find Edward, hadn't I?" I said it mostly to myself; walking toward the general direction of Edward's exit.

* * *

"Edward?" I whispered, stepping forward tentatively. It hadn't been hard to find him; I was used to his scent by now and that made him easier to locate. "I'm sorry."

"I know," he murmured, getting up off our bed and pulling my small body towards him, engulfing me in his arms. "I'm sorry too."

I nodded. "If we're both equally sorry, can we forget this ever happened?"

His answer was delayed; I looked up to see him warring with himself.

"What?" I murmured into his chest, confused.

"Bella, you're still intent on joining the Volturi." He whispered into my hair, resting his chin lightly on my head.

"Edward, it won't change anything. We'll still be together." I sighed, breathing in his luscious scent.  
"Of course it will, Bella. You'll be the most powerful female vampire _ever_. How will we have time for our relationship?"

"I'll always make time for you, Edward. Our relationship is the most important thing to me," I whispered, pressing my lips softly to his neck.

"Bella," he whispered, pulling me closer. "I love you so much."

I trailed my teeth lightly across the soft skin of his throat, leaving a thin shining trail of venom. "I love you, too."

I was having the desired effect. Soon enough, we'd be together.

"Please, Bella," he sighed, "please don't join the Volturi."

"It won't _hurt_," I murmured seductively. "It won't change anything between us," I pressed my lips to his jaw hard; he'd lifted me up unknowingly and I'd wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Please," he whispered, as I brushed my lips against his. "O-okay. You can join the Volturi, Bella,"

I smiled in victory.

"Just, please," he growled, opening his eyes and pinning me down on the bed before I could even catch up.

"Sure," I growled breathlessly, reaching my arms up to trace his muscles through his thin shirt. I wasn't sure what he was asking; there were so many options. But right now I knew what I wanted.

**(those not looking for a lemon, scroll down to the next note, now!)**

I pushed my body up so that I could reach his lips, and he took them hungrily, winding his arm around me to hold me in place. His hand trailed around from the small of my back until he released me back onto the bed, reluctantly losing my lips. I knew what he wanted; we both had far too many items of clothes on. He didn't wait for my vampire speed, ripping my shirt in two.

"Edward!" I squealed breathlessly, before ripping his shirt to shreds with my strong newborn hands.

"There wasn't any need for that, Bella," he growled, sliding his lips along my chin and licking his way down my neck.

"There wasn't any need for that, either," I moaned, flailing my hands toward what I thought were the remains of my top.

"Yes, there was," he laughed against the tender skin of my breast, creating a vibration there.

"Mm?" I moaned, as his tongue darted over the peak of my nipple.

_You weren't wearing a bra, idiot_. I answered myself, as I moaned in pleasure.

I wasn't going to let him have all the fun; I spun us around until I was on top of him.

"Bella," he growled, as I pressed myself to his body. I could feel him pressed against my stomach, and he groaned again as I applied pressure.

"Who's the clever one now?" I whispered seductively, straddling him. I pressed my lips to his stomach first, before trailing my tongue down towards his jeans.

"Bella!" He pleaded, his arms turning uselessly under my vice-like grip.

I let go briefly, to undo the buttons of his jeans, but he took advantage; I was underneath him and we were, by now, both naked.

"That wasn't fair," I breathed, gasping a little.

"Never is, my Bella," he laughed.

I traced his jaw with my lips as he sucked at my neck, and gently bit his earlobe, causing him to growl loudly.

"I can't take this, Edward," I gasped. "I need you," I moaned. "Now!"

He didn't wait much longer; I knew that it was pleasurable torture for him too. He slid into me quickly – there was no need for a pause; we'd done this before, even though I didn't remember.

I was surely going to remember this. The pleasure was unbearable, and I cried out huskily. I arched my body up, pushing my hips against his. We moaned in unison, as he thrust into me again, harder. We were both so close.

**(begin reading again here)**

My mind clouded as we came together, and suddenly, I opened my eyes.

"Edward?" I gasped. "Where am I?"

"What do you mean, Bella?" He growled, removing himself from inside of me.

"Where have I been?" I gasped, nearing hyperventilation. It had all been so dark; I didn't remember a thing.

"What? Bella, what are you talking about? You've been talking to me all through this!" He sighed, wrapping his warm arms around me.

His _warm_ arms?

"No, Edward," I gasped, "it's all been so dark. Where have I been? Why are you warm?"

I was starting to cry; I buried my head in Edward's chest.

"What do you mean, Bella?" Edward asked, taking my face softly to look at me. "Neither of us are warm. We don't _get_ warm."

"W-wh-what?" I stammered. "Of course I get warm, I'm always warm! You're the one who's always cold!"

"Bella?" Edward whispered. "Is that _you_?"

"Of course it's me," I laughed shakily, wiping at my wet eyes, to find they were completely dry. "What's wrong with me, Edward?" I asked, turning to look at him. "I'm not crying...and you're warm!"

"Bella...tell me, have I changed you into a vampire yet?" He whispered.

"Well you were meant to...but then obviously you didn't...but it's been dark for so long...and I didn't know what was happening...and I could hear some times and then others it was just...dark. So, _so_ dark. I was back in it, that terrible dark...What happened, Edward?" I cried, pressing my naked body to his surprisingly warm one.

"Bella," Edward whispered, his voice coming out a little garbled.

"And did we just have sex?" I laughed, reaching up to brush his bronze hair out of his concerned eyes. "I thought you said we couldn't do it again until after I'd been changed..."

"Bella," Edward whispered quietly. "Oh, my beautiful Bella." It almost sounded like a lament. I turned from side to side, looking at our surroundings.

"Why are we in _this_ room?!" I gasped, recognizing it as mine and Jasper's room.

"Bella," Edward sobbed. Why was he crying?

I strained my neck to look at him and pressed his lips to mine softly, reveling in his taste.

And I opened my eyes.

"Edward?" I asked, looking up to him. "What just happened?"

He was holding onto me insanely tight, sobbing a little.

"Edward, what happened?!" I asked, terrified. My silent heart would have been beating itself into oblivion had I been human.

"Bella?" He asked, taking my face softly in his. "Is it you? Is it still you?"

"Of course it's me, you idiot!" I laughed harshly, touching his face. "What's gotten into you?"

_It's not her,_ I heard him whisper mentally. _She's gone. _

_Who_ was gone? I wondered. I listened to his thoughts again, staring at him intently.

_Maybe if I kiss her again..._

He pressed his lips to mine again, and I looked up at him, confused. "What's wrong, Edward?"

"Nothing, Bella." He sighed, pushing a lock of my hair behind my ear.

_No. Absolutely nothing._

**Tell me what YOU think happened :)**


	18. Being There

**Disclaimer: Me No Own, comprende?**

**AN - Hey, guys. Sorry my update took so long – as you guys know, my computer exploded. I must admit it was a really rewarding experience for me. -sarcasm- Well, I've lost all of my previous fanfic chapters, all my future fanfic chapters and the tiny bit of work I had done on my beloved book :( But no worries! I'll try and recreate everything as best as I can! Thanks for reviewing and all the well wishing!**

**Hm, now I need to answer some questions.**

**WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO BELLA?!**

**When Bella is overwhelmed, the vampire part of her recedes a little, letting her regain complete control of her former self. Wow, I'm not explaining this very well. It's somewhat like The Host – Melanie can take over Wanda's body now and again. But, human Bella and vampire Bella aren't two different consciousnesses. They're the same person, but almost like she has multiple personalities. While vampire Bella has been around, human Bella's been locked away. She has no idea of what's been going on, no idea of the lies Edward has been feeding her... nothing! And so when she takes over, she's like...that. And if she ever comes back -twirls mustache- then the last thing she will remember is that moment in the last chapter with Edward. And yes, vampy Bella came back at the end of the chapter, because she wasn't overwhelmed anymore.**

**Also, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Rhiannon and Amy (you know who you are!) because they are the first of my 'real life' friends, you could say, who have read my fics, and despite calling me crazy and asking me where in the hell all of my warped - they're Edward & Bella shippers 'til the end - ideas come from, have been very supportive. I love you guys!**

"So," Carlisle smiled. "Have you decided, then?"

"Yes," I smiled up at Edward. "Edward said I could join the Volturi if I wanted to."

I didn't need to worry about him going along with everything. He'd been curiously somber since we'd left the bedroom.

It made me a little self conscious. Did I do something _wrong_?

I shook off my worries quickly, and continued my conversation with Carlisle.

"When will Aro and the gang be back then?" I asked cheerily, covering my self-consciousness with a smile.

"We're already here," Aro drawled from the doorway.

_Do these people ever knock!?_ I wondered.

"Aro!" I greeted him, walking over to shake hands with him. "We've come to a decision."

"I'm sure you have!" Jane hissed in the background, her red eyes narrowing into thin, ominous slits.

"I'm so glad to hear it, Isabella." Aro smiled, ignoring Jane's hostility. "Would you like to come to Volterra briefly to sort through everything and decide how we'll go about this, or would you prefer to stay here?"

"Um, well...I haven't really been outside of the house yet..." I said embarrassedly.

"I'm quite sure we'd all like a holiday," Jasper said, stepping up beside me. "And it'll give Bella a chance to see the outside world a little."

"I'm not sure about that, Jasper," Carlisle said, stepping forward. "We're not sure about Bella's control, and with it being so sunny in Italy it could be a bit overwhelming..."

"I'm sure Bella could manage, right Bells?" Jasper turned to me, smiling down at me companionably.

"Yes!" I squealed. "I'd love to go! And I don't mind staying inside during the day and I wouldn't mind staying inside while you go hunting...I want to go out!"

No one other than Jasper looked convinced. In my last bid for freedom, I put on my puppy dog eyes and turned to Carlisle, over-exaggerating my innocence.

"Please, Dad?"

He sighed, "Okay, then."

I smiled ruefully and turned to Edward, who'd been silent the entire time. "We're going to Italy, honey! Aren't you pleased?"

"Ecstatic," he smiled mockingly, before turning on his heel and barreling upstairs at the speed of light.

"What's wrong with him?" I whispered to Jasper, who had wrapped a comforting arm around my waist.

"I don't know, Bella. But don't worry, he'll be fine."

I nodded half heartedly and turned around to face the ever-expectant Volturi.

"When will be the most prudent time for our trip?" Carlisle was asking Aro.

"Ah, dear friend, whenever you wish! Our doors are always open for you!"

_I suppose the sooner the better, if that's what you wish, Bella?_

I nodded to him, and he informed Aro that we'd be returning to Volterra with them.

"I'm gonna ride in a plane!" I squealed to Jasper as Carlisle lead the Volturi and their guard up the stairs to his study.

"Excited?" He asked, trying to restrain himself from jumping along with me.

"Yes! Thank you so much, Jasper! You know Edward would _never_ have let me out of the house!"

"Maybe he thinks it's for the best that we protect you, Bella." He smiled. "Please try and calm down!" Jasper added, calming me down and leading me to our familiar positions on the couch. Alice had skulked out of the room, followed by a concerned Esme. Emmett and Rosalie were, of course, otherwise occupied.

"I don't need protecting," I smiled at him. "And I thought you couldn't feel my emotions?"

"Yes Bella, honey, you do. You've got me and all of our family, we'll protect you." He smiled. "Oh, and I don't know why, I think it's when you let your guard down."

"Thanks, Jazz. You're always here for me." I smiled shyly, giving him an awkward hug without my arms; his arm was still wrapped tight around my waist.

"It's okay, Bella. I'll always be here for you. And thanks for being there for me, too." He smiled happily and kissed my forehead briefly.

_I've missed you so much,_ he whispered in his mind. I doubt he even knew I was listening; all of a sudden he stiffened and let go of me.

"Go and talk to Edward, Bella. I have to talk to Alice, now."

He was up and out of the room before I'd moved two centimeters. Damn reflexes!

I walked slowly up the staircase, measuring my steps carefully. I had another whole two flights to go until I had to face Edward, and I needed to figure out what was wrong with him before then. I had to prepare myself.

**I was going to finish it here. But I'm not that mean :D**

"Edward?" I whispered, stepping into our room. He was sitting, curled up, on the bed, looking unbearably fragile. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Bella," he sighed, looking up. His eyes were dark.

"Have I done something to upset you?" I asked, clutching at the hem of my shirt nervously.

"No, Bella, you haven't." He sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose as though he was a parent explaining why _not_ to run with scissors to his child.

I walked slowly across the room, and sat next to him on the bed. "I'm sorry, for whatever I've done." I whispered.

"Bella, listen, you haven't done anything so stop saying sorry!" He growled.

"Okay. I'm sorry," I breathed, scooting closer to him.

"Is that your definition of funny?!" He said, eyebrows furrowed and his expression fierce.

"My...what?!"

"I say to you, "so stop saying sorry..." and then you say "Bla bla, I'm sorry!" It's not in the least funny, Bella!"

"I'm sorry, Edward, I wasn't thinking. If you want me to leave then I will." I whimpered, getting up off the bed.

As I wrenched the door open I heard the tail end of a screech from downstairs that I recognized as Alice. "And you can't even fucking _pretend_ that you love me, Jasper!" She screamed. "What the hell am I meant to do with that?! When my _husband_ loves SOMEONE else?"

I'd never heard her so angry, and I froze with one foot out of the room. Hadn't Jasper said that he was going to talk to Alice? I assumed she was talking about the girl I'd seen in Jasper's thoughts, but her tone had seemed so thick with implications...

I felt Edward's arms wrap around me. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his breath cool on my neck.

"It's my fault." I hissed, unwilling to mess things up again.

"No, really, it's mine. I was a bit upset and I'm taking it out on you."

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong, then?" I breathed, turning around to face him.

"It's such a long story, Bella...and you don't remember. It's best that you forget about it. I already have."

"Okay," I sighed, knowing I wouldn't get it out of him.

"I love you, Bella." He smiled, kissing me softly.

"I love you too, Edward." I smiled against his lips.

We'd come over every obstacle thrown at us...So why couldn't Jasper and Alice do the same?

_**There you go, guys :) I hope this chapter shows up! Please review!**_


	19. Bonds

**Disclaimer: I own Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse.**

**Chyea, you guys are stupider than me! :L  
**

**AN - I just about had a heart attack, I'm sitting down flicking through some fan fictions, reading my reviews as they come in (there weren't many for the last chapter :s ), and thinking that I'll have to have finished Avaritia by the time Breaking Dawn comes out, and maybe even the Jazzy/Bella sequel, cus no one will want to read them once Breaking Dawn comes out, and there'll be billions of new ideas to use once it's out...and then I realize this chapter is chapter 19. **

**chapter _nineteen._**

**Which means I've got to work everything out between Bella and Edward, take the Cullens to Volterra and back and have a nice little fluffy chapter and end the story on a happy note to give the Eddie/Bellies some closure...and I've got to do it all in a grand total of 10 chapters!? EEEK!**

**I better get started!**

**This chapter is dedicated to Sarah (check out her HP Drarry fanfics, sezmarelda) because she puts up with my mindless Twilight natter, lets me pester her about her upcoming Twilight fic, and even though we've established that I know a grand total of nothing about computers, she still tries to teach me stuff :) Love you, Sarah!**

"You never showed me our wedding pictures, you know," I said to Edward, leaning across Jasper towards the aisle of the plane. I was sitting next to Jasper; since he and Alice had argued, they couldn't stand to look at eachother. I had offered to sit by Alice, but she'd declined, so Edward sat by her, opposite Jasper and I on the right side of the aisle.

I felt Jasper's body tense immediately under me as Edward seemingly struggled for an answer to the question.

"You didn't want to take any until you'd been changed, we just haven't really gotten round to doing them."

"Can we take some when we get back? Where's my wedding dress?"

I realized I'd never asked about my wedding at all; it was so weird that I remembered none of it. I hadn't even seen my wedding dress yet.

"Your dress is in the closet back home," Jasper answered me.

"And of course we can take some, Bella." Edward answered almost as quickly.

"It's a shame you didn't bring your wedding attire here," Aro called, hearing our conversation easily from the front seats of the Volturi's private jet. "You could have had the photos taken in Volterra; they would have looked perfect."

For a millisecond I imagined them; Edward and I looking fairytale-esque in our wedding outfits, posing in a sunny square, sparkling for all we were worth...

"You can have them done here," Alice murmured, speaking up for the first time since yesterday. "I brought your wedding outfits with me."

"Wow! Thank you, Alice! How did you know?" I gasped, overwhelmed with emotion.

"Visions," Jasper answered for her.

"I can answer Bella myself, idiot," she hissed at him, before turning back to the window.

"And we've got a very good friend who takes most of our pictures for us," Aro smiled. "Fabulous woman, wonderful photographer. I'm sure she won't decline."

"That'll be lovely!" Esme squealed, "did you pack all of our clothes, Alice?"

"Why don't you ask Jasper?" She asked scathingly. "He seems to know exactly what I'm going to say before I say it."

"Don't speak to Esme like that," Edward chided her softly, patting her shoulder.

Jasper was looking down at his hands, tracing the pale scars that marred his skin. I put my hand in his, smiling at him comfortingly and sending a wave of calm toward him.

"Sorry, Esme." Alice whispered. "Yes, I brought all of our outfits."

"The little pixie's a genius!" Emmett boomed, laughing giddily.

"We haven't taken any pictures together in decades, Alec." Jane said sweetly.

"We took some two years ago," Alec muttered under his breath. "Of course, we'll have Ana take some for us, dear sister."

"Thank you, brother." She smiled. "I always look so pretty in them, don't I, Aro?"

Alec's emotions and thoughts showed that he was incredibly frustrated with his 'dear sister'.

_We took some last year!_ He screamed at Jane mentally. _Right after our 'birthday'! Why do you want to take more?! And PRETTY?_ He screeched. _Pretty little problem is a little more accurate!_

Edward and I shared a look, trying not to laugh. We'd both heard it.

"Yes, you always look lovely, dearest Jane." Aro cooed.

I pressed my lips together and hid my face against Jasper's shoulder. _I will not laugh_, I told myself.

When I'd finally composed myself, I looked up to see Jasper looking down at me with a twinkle in his eye.

"What?" I mouthed to him. He tapped his temple and I listened in.

_We've got a long while before we get to Volterra. Want to have some fun?_

"What kind of fun?" I smiled, mouthing my answer again.

_Emotional ping pong!_

I snickered a little, and Edward turned to look at me, confused, so I quickly composed myself and smiled at him. Once he'd turned away again to continue his written chat with Alice, I looked up at Jasper again, and shrugged my shoulders.

_Edward and I used to play it. He'd send me an emotion and I'd throw it at Emmett, and see what kind of stupid things he'd do._

He showed me an image of Emmett hugging Carlisle tightly.

"_Can you please get off me, son?_" Carlisle asked gently.

"_No, Carlisle! I want to show you my love!"_

That was enough for me; I nodded eagerly at Jasper.

_It'll be even more fun with you and I, because we've both got the power. So I figure you throw one emotion at him, and I throw another, and we see what overpowers him first!_

"I'm up for that!" I squealed out loud, laughing. No one took much notice, they were all engrossed in their own conversations.

Or in Emmett and Rosalie's case, eachother's lips.

"Name it before you throw it, okay?" Jasper whispered.

"Love." I whispered, whipping it over to Emmett, who was sitting in front of Edward and Alice.

Emmett started kissing Rosalie with a bit more feeling, and I resisted the urge to "Aww!" out loud.

"Sorrow." Jasper whispered.

Suddenly, Emmett was grabbing Rosalie by the arms and kissing her madly.

"What the fuck are you doing, Emmett?" She cried, trying to push him away.

"I just love you so much, Rosie," Emmett whined, starting to sob.

I snickered, burying my face in Jasper's shoulder again. We'd both stopped sending him emotions, but I was up for trying again.

"Glee." I whispered against Jasper's shirt. I felt him shiver as my cool breath traveled through the material of his shirt, but I ignored it.

Emmett was suddenly laughing quietly, snickering.

"Emmett," Rosalie hissed. "What are you laughing at now?!"

Emmett's giggles grew a little stronger. "I- I don't know!" He snorted, as I began laying it on thick.

Suddenly, his laughter was booming throughout the plane, and Jane was screeching,

"Shut up, you blithering idiot!" Which only made Emmett laugh harder.

"Suspicion," Jasper breathed in my ear.

"Rosalie," Emmett breathed, his giggles abruptly stopping. "Are you...cheating on me?"

"What?" She exclaimed, frowning. "No, you idiot!"

_You're not even trying to get him to laugh, Bella. That's not the aim of the game_. Jasper whispered in my mind, sounding unintentionally seductive.

I pushed another round of mirth onto him until he was battling between the two.

"But Rosalie," snicker, "I can tell you're lying," snicker, "don't lie, Rosalie," I pushed all I had left in me towards him, and he burst out laughing.

"That's not funny, Emmett!" Rosalie growled, exasperated. "Stop laughing, I'm not cheating on you with anyone,"

_Not winning that easy,_ Jasper laughed.

I felt him barreling a bucket of suspicion onto Emmett, who instantly sobered. "Tell me, Rosalie," he whined, my mirth long gone. "Who is it? Am I not good enough?"

The entire plane had gone quiet, everyone listening into the fanfare. Jane's voice called out in my head, and the result had me doubled up with silent laughter.

_Hm, trouble in paradise?_ She eyed Emmett again as he pleaded with Rosalie. _If only he were a bit younger...I'm in no doubt that he's good enough..._

Edward snickered, covering his mirth with a low cough.

"Do you find it funny, Edward?" Emmett asked sadly. "Is it you? Is Bella not enough for you? Do you have to have my Rosalie too?"

"No, Christ, no, Emmett. Calm down, what's gotten into you?!"

I channeled all the hurt I had in me toward Emmett and suddenly, he drew his legs up, wrapping his arms around himself and curling up, rocking back and forth.

"It's you. Rosalie is sleeping with Edward. Oh, God, God, God. Why did you have to do this to me, God? Why? Did I do something wrong?"

"Don't be stupid, Emmett, you're overreacting!" Jasper said, sounding utterly serious. I was surprised that he could keep his voice level, as I pressed my lips together tighter.

"No!" Emmett gasped. "It's _you!_ It's you, isn't it, Jasper? You couldn't just have Alice! Now _Rosalie! _Weren't Alice_ and _Bella enough for you? Are you going to try and have Esme now too?!"

I was so amused that I didn't register his words until much later, especially as I heard Esme's voice in my head seconds after.

_Bella, tell Jasper that you can each throw one last emotion at him but then you'll have to stop, he's getting unnecessarily distressed_. I turned to her, smiling through the gap between mine and Jasper's seats.

"Jazz, one more each, okay?" I whispered. He nodded.

"Wonder." He murmured.

"Wow," Emmett breathed, picking up a silver spoon that happened to be lying on the table that sat in front of him and Rosalie. "Look at it, Rose. It's a spoon."

Esme giggled behind us, making Jasper push more wonder onto him.

"I mean look, look at it Rose! It's a spoon! It scoops things up...and look...I'm upside down in it..." He trailed off, turning the spoon from side to side.

"And if I turn it upside down, then I'm still upside down..."

I hit Emmett with some excitement, and whispered so to Jasper.

"Aaah!" Emmett shrieked, waving his hands in the air. "I'm upside down Rose! Help me out of this spoon-land where nothing is the right way up!"

I couldn't help but laugh, and Jasper tried to calm me, clutching my hand tighter in order to transfer some more emotion.

I hadn't even noticed we'd been holding hands; I was so comfortable with him.

"Emmett for goodness' sake, will you shut up!? You're not stuck in the damn spoon!"

That was the end for me; I stood up and excused myself to the unused bathroom in the back of the plane where I collapsed in a fit of giggles at the side of the bath.

**(Yes, on the side of the _bath_.)**

Absentmindedly, I wondered if they had golden baths on every plane. I tried to control my mirth but it soon became impossible; when I looked at my reflection in the side of the bath, I appeared upside down, and pictured Emmett screaming, _"I'm stuck in upside down bath world, help me Rosie!"_

Jasper walked into the bathroom quickly, hearing me laughing.

"That is the best game _ever_!" I laughed, scooting over so that he could sit next to me.

"Do you think they caught on?" He laughed, sitting down next to me.

"Esme did, so I assume Carlisle did...and Edward probably knew very early on!"

"And of course, I knew," said a familiar voice with a thick Italian accent.

I looked up. "Aro!" I smiled. "How did you know?"

"You two were both trying your hardest not to laugh, and of course I knew of your powers. It was quite obvious," he smiled.

"Weren't so stealthy then, were we?" I laughed at Jasper.

"Forgive me for asking, Bella, but how long have you and Jasper been..." he paused, giving me a look thick with implications, "together?"

I frowned. "Together?"

"Oh, so Edward knows? My, Carlisle has managed to find himself a confusing family."

"I'm sorry, Aro, I don't understand!" I exclaimed. He couldn't be saying what he thought he was saying, right?

"No, Aro, we aren't in any sort of romantic relationship," Jasper smiled, wrapping his arm back around my waist. "Just friends. We're both married."

Aro nodded, seemingly confounded. "I'm sorry, it's just that Marcus saw your relationship and it was all very confusing! Please forgive me dear Isabella, Jasper."

"Of course, Aro," I smiled.

"Bella, do you wish to talk about..." He eyed Jasper nervously. _About your memory, _"now, or when we get to Volterra?"

"Um, Volterra would be a bit more private, I'd imagine."

"Of course, il mio amore," he smiled, before gliding out of the door.

"My love?" I scoffed quietly to Jasper.

"Bella, show some respect!" He said, mock seriously. "What did Aro think to you?"

"I can't tell you." I answered sharply. I couldn't.

"I won't tell anyone, I promise, Bella. I'll hide my thoughts from Edward, and I won't criticize you..." He smiled at me and held me a little tighter. "Just let me in, Bella. I want to be there for you."

"I joined the Volturi..." I exhaled loudly. "Because Aro promised to help me get my memories back."

"Oh," Jasper sighed. "Oh, Bella." He pulled me to his chest, wrapping both arms around me tightly. "I can't believe you'd do that."

"I thought you said you weren't going to criticize me," I whispered, clutching at his shirt.

"I'm not, Bella, I'm not. I'm just saying we could have helped you get your memory back. There's nothing _I_ wouldn't do to get your memory back."

"Well, there's nothing I can do now. I've got to be part of the Volturi."

I wanted to tell him so much what I was feeling, what I'd been keeping bottled up since I'd agreed.

"Tell me, then." He whispered.

"How did you know?"

"Emotions."

"I'm so scared, Jasper. I'm so so scared," I breathed, and he held me tighter to his chest, like he'd never let me go.

"Don't worry, Bella. I won't let anyone hurt you. I'll be with you every step of the way."

"You can't be," I whimpered. "I'm all on my own."

"Wait here," he whispered, letting me go gently. I felt a tearing sense of separation as he ran through the door, like a giant hole was being ripped through my chest. I'd never felt anything like it, yet it was incredibly familiar. I tried to gather myself in the seconds he was gone, knowing he'd be back.

Aro was with Jasper at the door, smiling his usual toothy smile. "How lovely, Bella!" He clapped. "I'm sure you'll be much more comfortable with us now that Jasper's decided to join our guard!"

"Jasper's...joining?" I breathed, a smile growing on my face.

"Yes, Bella. I am." He smiled. He turned to Aro, and patted him on the shoulder. "I'll stay with Bella until she gathers herself, we'll be back out soon."

Aro nodded and smiled his toothy grin again. "Of course, cara famiglia!" He was gone once again in a flash.

"You're joining?" I whispered, dumbfounded.

"Yes, Bella. I'm sure Alice and Edward will too, if you want," he smiled, hugging me tightly.

As I breathed in his luscious scent, I tried to ignore whatever feeling I was experiencing. Of course, I knew what it was, what kind of empath would I be if I didn't know my own emotions? But I couldn't believe that I was feeling this for my _brother_.

"Bella?" Edward's soft voice had me jumping out of Jasper's arms.

"Edward!" I squealed, flitting over to him. "Jasper's joining the guard so that he can look after me!"

"Really?" Edward said, raising one perfect eyebrow at Jasper. "Well, I am your husband...I should probably go and have a chat with Aro."

"No, Edward!" Jasper sighed. "I know you don't really want to join, and I'll only be there for the brief time Bella is. Honestly, she'll be fine with me."

"Jasper," Edward said, his voice coming out a little strangled, for some reason. "It's not that I don't _trust_ you, and I don't _object_ to you joining the guard, but I think that I should be there too, for double the protection..."

"Honestly, Edward," I smiled, wrapping my arms around him. "I won't even be in Volterra often, Jasper is just there as a double check. Don't worry!"

"Fine," he smiled sweetly. "Come and sit back down?"

"Sure," I nodded, beckoning Jasper back with me.

"Won't be long now, dear Cullens," Aro called, just as we got back to our seats. "Volterra isn't far!"

**Not sure if I liked this one? Ah well, enjoy it, I hope. Please review, even if you didn't like it / I only got 28 reviews for that chapter... never mind! Thank you all for reviewing!**


	20. Screaming

**Disclaimer: Er, no, I don't own it...stop reminding me! Oh, actually, I own Elizabeth – YAY! First time I can say I own something. Not a very nice thing to own, but all the same.**

**AN – I hate not being able to make everyone happy :( Oh, and since I haven't read New Moon for a good few months -sniff- I can't remember much about Volterra. So I'm pretty much making it up as I go along! Oh, and thank you to Babel Fish - the translator that did all the foreign lang in this chapter and pretty much every other :D Yeah, not too good with anything other than English and Welsh :D  
**

Volterra was beautiful. The heat was stifling on my skin, despite the thick cloaks that shrouded us in darkness as we walked through shadows. People weaved in and out through the crowds in the sun, but none dared approach us.

We were forbidden.

Was this why Edward didn't want to change Bella? Because he knew that her silent heart would break seeing all the humans who shied away from her? Or because of something else entirely – her soul? I hoped Aro could help me find the answer to that.

Edward was keeping a firm hold on my left arm, Alice on my right. They 'trusted' me, yet they were worried that I would lose control in the presence of all these humans.

Yet, as my family tried to ignore the burning in their throats, I felt nothing. Not even a twinge. Was I an abnormality? I wondered, fretting as we skulked in the shade. Had there ever been a vampire who did not yearn for blood?

The Volturi and their guards took a sharp left turn into a dark tunnel, leading us onto the paths that would soon open into their abode. Edward took my hand now, as did Alice. The temptation was away from us, by now, but I could feel Edward and Alice especially on edge, wary of me. I could feel Edward's onyx eyes flickering to my face now and again, as we shuffled through the damp corridor.

"What's wrong?" I whispered to him stealthily.

My voice echoed, bouncing off the wet walls. _Yeah, stealthy_. I thought sarcastically.

_You've been here before, I just wanted to see how that affected you._

"Should I remember it?" I breathed, lowering my voice until a vampire would have to strain to hear it.

_I guess not,_ he laughed. _You don't remember anything._ He finished off dejectedly, and I jumped from his mind. He sounded so hurt, so lost...

I clutched his hand tighter, and he looked down at me. "Love you" I mouthed, smiling up at him.

Suddenly, a large wooden door made its way into my view, standing out from the darkness due to the candles that blazed in their holders attached to the wall. We were here. Jane skipped to the door, her pale features even more chilling in the flickering light of the flame. She rapped on the old wood sharply three times; the sounds echoed back through the cavernous corridor ominously. The door opened as if by magic, but then a pale boy with light green eyes came stumbling out from behind it, greeting us in a shaky Italian.

"I padroni! Benvenuto, ospiti, entrano!" It was obvious that he was terrified of us.

As I passed him, I smiled. "Hello, I'm Isabella," his eyes widened considerably. "What's your name?"

"He doesn't speak English, tesoro," Aro explained. "He's lived here all his life."

"Oh," I murmured, as Aro lead me back to Edward. "Why does he live here?"

"We killed his parents, and then we found out that he'll possess a grand power once we've changed him." He said triumphantly.

"You killed his parents?" I gasped, stepping away from him a little.

"No, dear, not me. Jane did. But we do feed on humans, you are aware?"

"Yes, I'm aware." I murmured, colliding with Edward in my haste to reach his arms.

_Are you okay, honey?_ Edward thought, rubbing my back comfortingly.

I nodded, and he released me so that we could be shown our rooms.

"Miss Rosalie, Master Emmett, I hope this is to your liking." A young girl had appeared not long after, ready to show us to our rooms. Her hair was dark, pulled back in a messy bun. I assumed she was another of Aro's 'finds' – the children who would be useful in later life.

We walked along corridors for a long while; next came Carlisle and Esme's room, then what should have been Alice and Jasper's room.

"I'm sorry," Alice said, looking up at the young girl. "Would it be possible for Jasper and Edward to share this room? I'd rather be in with Bella."

"Oh," she stuttered, looking dumbfounded. For the first time, I thought I heard a hint of a British accent. "Yes, Miss Alice, of course, if that is fine with Master Edward and Master Jasper?"

"Of course not," Jasper said, striding into the room and thanking her.

"I'll see you later, Bella." Edward whispered, bending down to kiss my lips softly.

"Bye," I whispered, as he closed the ornate door behind him.

"Miss Bella, do you mind sharing with Miss Alice?"

"Of course not," I smiled at her, then at Alice. "It'll be like a sleepover..."

"But without the sleeping!" The girl laughed, then her eyes widened. "I am very sorry for speaking out of turn, Miss Bella, Miss Alice!" Her cheeks reddened considerably, and I felt a twinge in my chest.

"Oh, don't worry...I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," I smiled at her warmly.

She looked dumbfounded for a moment, and Alice murmured. "Dazzled," or something to that effect.

"Um, my name is Elizabeth, Miss Bella." She stuttered, regaining her composure.

"That's a lovely name, Miss Elizabeth. And don't worry, Alice and I did not think you were speaking out of turn." Alice nodded with me.

"You needn't call me Miss Elizabeth, Miss Bella." She blushed again. I wondered how she faired with vampires around her when she couldn't control her flushing.

"Well as long as you're calling me Miss, I shall call you so, too." I retorted kindly.

Her blush deepened, one blending into the next. "Well then, Bella, Alice, I'll show you to your room."

Our room was in the corridor next to Jasper and Edward's – our rooms were adjoining. Alice wasn't pleased, I could feel, but she said nothing.

Once we were settled into our room, Elizabeth followed us in. "Is everything to your liking?"

"It's gorgeous!" I squealed, my eyes bright.

"Yes, everything's fine, Elizabeth." Alice answered as brightly as she could.

"I better leave you, then," she whispered, retreating out of the door. The despair she felt as she said the words had me jumping up in protest.

"No! Elizabeth, stay with us for a while, we can talk!"

Her eyes brightened in hope for a moment, then dimmed again. "The masters won't be pleased."

"Don't be silly," I smiled. "I promise you that Aro won't mind you getting to know the newest member of the family." I gestured to myself.

"You're going to join the guard?" She murmured, stepping in anyway.

"No," I smiled. "I'm going to join the family."

"Oh!" She perked up a little, and I tried listening into her thoughts.

I withdrew quickly; her mind was painful. All there was inside her mind was screaming. Incessant screaming, high pitched and continuous.

"So of course, you can stay and speak with us." I finished, and strode behind her to close the door. I settled myself on the large bed that sat in the middle of the room, and beckoned Alice and Elizabeth over to it.

"Are you joining too, Alice?" Elizabeth asked softly.

"No, I'm not." She answered abruptly. "_My husband_ is, though." She sneered.

Elizabeth nodded, seeming to understand completely; it caught Alice off guard. She curled up in a ball at the edge of the bed, as far as possible away from me.

"So, Elizabeth. Tell me about life here."

"Well," she paused, suppressing a shiver. I could tell by her face that she was weaving a net of lies to fool me, so I sent a subtle wave of truthfulness into the room.

Elizabeth sighed, and then locked her blue eyes with mine. "Do you want the truth, or what I'm meant to say?"

"The truth, please, Elizabeth."

"Please, call me Lizzie." She smiled.

"Of course," I murmured, realizing that her entire persona since we'd met her had been a facade – this was her.

"I came here when I was 6. A French vampire who called himself 'Le Lecteur' tried to erase my mind of how it happened – he works on Aro's orders. It didn't work. I've learnt much about the Volturi in my time here." She smiled creepily.

"It was another cold English winter. I lived in Stratford Upon Avon," she smiled wistfully. "Did you know that Shakespeare was from Stratford?" She asked conversationally.

"No, I did not." I smiled.

"Well, he was. And it was winter. I think it was November the second. Maybe the third. And I'd pestered my parents to take me to the park for the entire week, so my mother finally gave up and took me to the small park down the road.

"It wasn't much of a show, just some swings and a few slides. I loved the place. My parents didn't like going out very much, after we'd gone on holiday to Italy that summer. I'd never understood why we'd returned home early, never understood why my parents gave nervous glances at me every so often." She sobered, swallowing her tears. I reached out and patted her shoulder as comfortingly as possible for a stone.

"We were at the park, and my mum was pushing me on the swings; I kept on whining that I wanted to go higher...and then she stopped pushing. She'd frozen in place, and when I shouted some more to go higher, she woke back up again, and grabbed me by the hand, running home as fast as she dared. I kept on asking what was wrong, and telling her that she was hurting my hand, that she was pulling it out of the socket.

"She never listened. We were about four steps from our house when it happened. Demetri and Felix were standing at the door of our house, smiling beatifically. I smiled back; I knew no difference."

Alice was staring into space, but I knew she wasn't having a vision. I tried to refocus on Elizabeth's story.

"We had no choice but to enter the house. My mother was crying, sobbing, by now. I didn't understand. Then I saw my father. There was blood all over the floor," she whispered, staring fixedly into space. She was locked in place, not unlike her mother on that day. "And then Jane ran over to me and took my hand.

'Don't worry,' she said. 'You're coming home with me.'"

"I was fascinated," she whispered, her eyes beginning to water through lack of blinking. "There was a big girl talking to me. Only people my age and my mummy and my daddy ever spoke to me.

'Am I coming for a sleepover?' I asked, confused.

'Yes, a sleepover.' she smiled, holding my hand tighter.

"I asked her why her hands were so cold. She told me it was because she wasn't used to the weather here. I believed her; all I could see were her red, red eyes. And she was so pretty!" She gasped.

Her eyes unlocked and she blinked, tears rolling down her cheeks. "When I looked up, my mother was dead, too. Blood everywhere. I started screaming. And then Jane smiled. And it hurt so much. And I screamed. More and more. Screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming," her voice seemed to be stuck on a broken record, repeating over and over, louder each time.

"Elizabeth!" I cried, shaking her shoulders.

Her voice stopped abruptly and she looked me right in the eye. "SCREAMING!" She did as she said; screaming at me, her voice piercing and beautiful.

Edward and Jasper came bursting in through the door to their adjoining room, figurative guns blazing. Jasper picked Alice and I up from the bed, pulling us away from the cacophony of noise and holding us as tight as he dared. Edward was restraining Elizabeth, holding his hand over her mouth to cut off her air supply.

Demetri and Felix rushed into the room, the door swinging off its hinges in their wake.

"What happened?!" Felix demanded, wrenching Elizabeth out of Edward's grasp and growling at her fiercely until she collapsed in a silent heap, rocking to and fro.

Edward shook his head. "I have no idea. Bella and Alice are in this room, and all we heard was her screaming."

I was whimpering under Jasper's hold, stifling my tearless sobs on his right arm. Alice was curled under his left, her tiny arms wrapped around his middle.

"What did you do, Bella?" Demetri growled, giving me a deadly look.

"That's Miss Bella to you, Demetri." Aro drawled, sauntering into the room. "What happened?"

"She...she..." I shuddered, stifling another sob.

"She showed us our room. She was about to leave but we told her to stay and talk. Bella asked her about life here. She started telling us about it then she started talking about Jane hurting her. And then she screamed, and screamed and screamed." Alice answered in an indifferent tone, her voice muffled by Jasper's chest, that she was gleefully burying her head in.

"Oh," Aro whispered.

"Oh, what?" I asked. Curiosity killed the cat, but not the vampire, after all.

"Jane went a little overboard with her power."

"How much is overboard?" I hissed, eying poor Elizabeth crumpled on the floor.

"The girl has been scarred mentally, talking about it re-triggers the pain. I cannot read her mind – all I hear is endless screaming."

"That's what I hear." I said, realizing.

"And me." Edward said, crouched over the unmoving girl.

"Let me go, Jasper." I murmured.

He relinquished his hold on me and I slunk over to sit down by Edward and Elizabeth.

She opened her eyes a few minutes later, her voice raspy. "Where's Alice?"

"Are you okay, Elizabeth?" I whispered, cautious around her.

"Where's Alice?" She repeated, a little more forcefully

"I'm here, Elizabeth." Alice spoke up, flitting over to where we were crouched around her limp body.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to her, her eyes sympathetic.

"You didn't hurt me, darling. You just scared Bella a little." She answered kindly.

"No, but you're hurt. You're badly hurt." Elizabeth insisted.

"No, honey, I'm not." Alice whispered, sounding a little less sure.

"Yes, you are. You're very badly hurt, inside. They both hurt you, didn't they?"

"No," Alice hissed. "I'm fine. They didn't hurt me."

"He knows he hurt you. She doesn't."

"True," Alice murmured. "How do you know so much?"

I was by now immensely confused. "What are you two talking about, who hurt you, Alice?"

"You really don't know," Elizabeth whispered, in an awe that seemed so unnaturally filled with hate. "I was so sure it was a pretense. But you really _don't know._"

"What?" I asked, confused again. "What is she talking about?"

"Step back, Isabella." Aro murmured. "Like I said, she's crazed."

"And Jane did this to her?" I whispered menacingly.

"Yes, she did. It wasn't really her fault-"

"Where is she?" I murmured, searching their minds. "Where is Jane?"

"In the front hall, why?" Felix answered.

I took one last look at Elizabeth, staring up at me in an endless, hate-filled pain.

Then I was gone.

**Hope you guys liked it :D I started writing this last night, and I had a terrible dream about Elizabeth – screaming at me over and over. I don't think I like her! :O**


	21. Taste of Revenge

**I owneth not the power that is Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse.**

**AN – I started writing this last night, so by now, when I'm posting it, I should have my New Moon back...but my hardback Eclipse will be gone. At least I have my paperback copy :D**

I sped down the unfamiliar halls faster than light. My anger was fueling my speed and determination. I found her in the lavish front hall, just where they said she'd be.

"Isabella, what a nice surprise," she sneered. "I hear you met Elizabeth?"

"I did meet Elizabeth." I stated, battling with my anger.

"Hm, not much of a meeting. The _thing_'s broken."

She spoke of Elizabeth like she was a toy, a play thing that had run out of battery. But she had a life. A life that was now condemned to pain and incessant screaming. All because of her.

I unleashed my stolen power on Jane – her own.

"Does it hurt, Jane?" I sneered, as she fell to the floor, screaming in razor sharp velvet tones. "Does it hurt badly? Does it hurt like you're dying all over again?"

Edward was behind me suddenly, pulling me back. "Stop, Bella, you don't want to do this!"

"But I do!" I answered him, breaking free of his grasp and turning back to Jane. "You've never been on this end before, have you, little girl? Always giving, never receiving."

"Please, stop!" She screamed, writhing on the floor in pain.

"Oh, but why, Jane? You've given so much, it's time to get some back. I think you _deserve _it. Don't you? Or not? Is it because you want someone else to have your share? Is it just because you're so damn charitable?" I spat at her.

"Bella, please stop!" Aro pestered me, flitting around his disciple.

"NO!" I growled, flinging my arm out towards him, sending him flying; he crashed into the wall.

"Hmm," I pondered, as I walked around Jane, inching the degree of pain down, easing her into a false sense of security... "You didn't tell me that one of you has telekinesis powers, dear Aro?"

"I'm sorry, Isabella!" Aro gasped, scrambling at my feet. "We didn't think it was important!"

Jane was gaining her mobility again as I lowered the blistering powers down to a throb.

"Why did you do that?" She hissed, eying me viciously.

"Do what?" I asked innocently.

"That!" She growled, getting to her feet. She couldn't even fight back; she had no form of combat skills because she had relied on her mind games for so long.

"Oh, you mean this?" I asked dramatically, hitting her with the biggest amount of pain I could manage, until she screamed. And screamed. And screamed.

Eventually, her screaming no longer affected my hearing, it did not make me cringe away. She continued screaming, her voice raw.

"Bella," Edward sighed, after watching me torture her endlessly. "Please, please stop."

"Okay," I whispered. I stopped.

Jane lay on the floor, rocking herself backwards and forth, sobbing. I delved into her mind.

Screaming.

"Aro," I said, turning to him as he fluttered uselessly around her. "The _thing_'s broken."

* * *

"What really happened with Elizabeth and Jane?" I asked Aro, as Alec watched his sister rock herself on the floor, broken beyond repair.

"The girl was traumatized after seeing her parents' dead bodies, so she started screaming. Jane thought she was tiresome; she used her power on her before the girl could so much as try to react. The pain was worse because she was so young, along with the fact that every time she opened her eyes, she saw her parents dead bodies. She was probably under the impression that she was dying."

"Oh," I breathed, thinking of the young girl back in the room. "She's 14 years old and she's been traumatized..."

"She's completely crazed. But, she'll be useful as a vampire. We're going to change her once she's a legal adult -even though she's technically dead. Her powers will be great."

"How do you know?" Edward countered.

"She has some sort of sense already," Aro was mesmerized by her, obviously. "If it's to do with pain, she knows it. She can see those who've inflicted pain, those who've experienced pain...and the pain specifically. Not even only the physical, the mental and emotional, too."

"Wow," I breathed, glancing over at Jane. "Do you think Jane will get a new power from this experience?"

"I hope so," he smiled wearily. "At least something good would come out of this situation, then."

And I laughed. "I think something good has come out of it."

I dismissed myself, sauntering out of the room, back towards my destination.

* * *

"Aren't you feeling thirsty, Bella?" Edward asked as we walked down the corridor, pestering me again.

"No, Edward, I'm not. Now please stop asking."_ Closed subject,_ I added mentally, knowing he couldn't hear me. When we reached mine and Alice's room, I was struck dumb at the scene before me. Alice was sitting opposite Elizabeth, cross legged on the floor. Jasper was sitting on the bed, staring into space.

"Jane screams too." Elizabeth stated, not looking up from Alice's features.

"Yes." I smiled, the almost tangible feeling of revenge and power, having inflicted such pain, was very gratifying.

"How did you do it?"

"I've got her power."

"So you hurt." She whispered, turning to me again.

"She deserved it," I countered. "She hurt you a lot."

"I know. But there's more than that."

"Is there?"

"You hurt before now. And they didn't deserve it. They still don't deserve it."

"Who did I hurt?" I gasped, crouching down beside her.

"The people you love. You still hurt them. You will continue to hurt them."

I was at a loss for words.

The look on Lizzie's face was thoughtful. "One day, you'll remember. And you'll stop hurting so much. Things will get better, one day."

"Will they?" I sighed. "Even though I don't know when I'm hurting someone?"

"They will get better. But you'll cause damage, Isabella Cullen. A lot of damage, in the mean time."

**Short chapter cus I'm a bit tired. xxx**


	22. Binding

**Disclaimer: Oh yes, because every multimillionaire spends their time writing fanfiction about their own book instead of working on the sequel or rolling around in their money...**

**AN – I know I really should have answered this before, but ages back, or even more recently, people have been asking me why in the hell Edward continues to forgive Bella after everything she's done.**

**It's because of this.**

**When we read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse etc all we ever get is Bella's story. And we know she loves Edward incredibly. But we haven't heard Edward's side of their relationship yet, so we don't realise. **

**As humans, think of how much we can do in a day – that's a heck of a lot of hours, even if it doesn't seem like it. Bella spends a very high majority of her day thinking about or spending time with Edward. But, Edward doesn't sleep. So technically, in our 24 hours, we get one day. But he gets two. And he chooses to spend an entire day with Bella as she sleeps.**

_**Think**_** about it. To spend twelve hours, more or less, watching someone sleep, listening to their breathing, listening to their heartbeat. You form a bond with someone by doing that. And so, while Bella spends a day thinking about Edward, Edward spends two days thinking about Bella. I'm not saying that Bella compares one tree to a forest...but Bella compares a lake to an ocean, if you ask me. **

**So, basically, Edward has formed some kind of unbreakable bond with Bella, without her knowing. I know saying this will come back to bite me in the butt – especially with the Jazzy fans and during the sequel – but I truly believe that. And that, my friends, is why Edward forgives Bella for pretty much everything.**

"So, are we in agreement, Bella?" Aro asked joyfully, leaning forward towards me. For a second, with my enhanced eyesight, I thought I could see through his papery skin, a ghost-like silhouette in front of the expanse of a room we sat in.

"I'm in agreement." I smiled; we had just set down the rules of mine and Jasper's involvement with the Volturi. Only he and I sat in the room, spare Aro, Marcus and Caius.

The rules of our involvement was as follows, written down on paper, by hand, ready to be filed away somewhere in the ancient building.

I, Isabella Cullen, had been adopted into the Volturi family – the _original­ _family- but I would not reside in Volterra with them. The guard were bound to my wishes – I had the same rights as the family themselves.

Aro and my brothers could contact me at any time to request my help with any thing, but I could choose whether or not to help. We would meet every year to discuss the vampires' involvement with the human world. I had a right to change the length in between our meetings at any point.

As for my powers, every time Aro acquired a new vampire with a potent power, he would send one of our guards over to my place of residence so that I would be able to absorb their power. This would ensure that the Volturi were always well protected.

Jasper was not a permanent guard for the entire Volturi – he was my personal guard, set to protect me at all times. When I traveled to and from Volterra, he would come with me. Also, because we were family, he would be able to protect me if any unwanted wraiths turned up at our family home. Jasper was not obligated to listen to any of the Volturi's guard, or my brothers. He was, quite basically, my personal servant! Jasper found this highly amusing – pointing it out to Aro almost at the same instant it ran through my chaotic mind.

And in return, Aro would return my memories to where they belonged.

"Yes, count me in." Jasper added his consent.

"So we're now family, Bella!" Aro cried, wrapping his veil-like arms around me. He had no more substance than a moth.

"We'll be on our way, then, later today." I smiled at him, rising from my seat.

"No!" Aro cried, lurching upwards, somehow looking graceful in the act. "You cannot leave yet, dear Isabella! There is so much Volterra has to offer!"

_Oh, and plus, Bells, we can see how Jane recovers from that little escapade you had yesterday!_ Jasper chuckled mentally.

"Of course we'll stay, my brothers!" I smiled, moving away from the table. "But Jasper and I must return to our family, now."

I took Jasper's hand, and we took off running down the corridor, through the dark tunnels until we reached the part of the building where our family were residing.

"Any luck with Alice?" I asked, turning to Jasper and releasing my hold on his hand.

"None," he sighed. "She'll come around in a few hundred years, I guess."

I laughed as I retreated to mine and Alice's room. "You make that sound like it's no time at all!"

"It isn't!" He chuckled, closing the door behind him.

"So, it's all sorted, then?" Alice confirmed with me as I joined her in our room.

"Yep!" I squealed, bouncing over to the bed.

"And Jasper, too?" She whispered, back to her somber self.

"Yes, we've got everything straightened out. He only comes to Volterra when _I_ come to Volterra."

"Right."

Could I ask her? Was she upset about it? Maybe I shouldn't.

"Figures that you two are so close..." She sneered.

"You're still arguing?" I blurted out unthinkingly.

"Yes." She said, her tone closing the conversation.

"Why can't you and Jasper just make up, Alice?" I sighed, as she twiddled her thumbs. "Edward and I have gotten over everything that's been thrown at us...So why can't you and Jazz do the same?"

"Yeah, you two got over everything that's been thrown at you because you lost your memory. Me and Jasper... we kind of still have that lil' ol' thing called memory." She said scathingly.

"What do you mean?" I breathed.

"Um, well, how about what I _said_?" She hissed, running her hand through her short hair.

"So Edward and I are only okay because I can't remember anything before being changed?"

"No, that's not what I meant. You would've made up anyway, he lets you get away with damned murder! But you can't remember anything, so neither of you are in the blame."

"Alice," I whispered, creeping a little closer to her. "Will you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" She sighed, tapping her fingers in a staccato motion against her jaw.

"Tell me everything. From the start. I keep on noticing things, like I'm missing vital information! When people make comments that I look over, I see that everyone else is tense. And when I do something innocently with no intent to hurt, everyone just tells me not to do it. They never explain why! Tell me Alice, please! Just help me remember." I reached out and grabbed her hand in mine. "_Please._"

"I can't," she hissed, pulling her hand out of my grasp.

"I just want to remember, Alice, it's all I want!"

"I can't!" She growled, getting up off the bed in a fluid motion

"Please, Alice! I just want to understand!"

"No! For God's sake Bella, I can't tell you!"

"I want to stop hurting people," I breathed. "I want to know what I've done."

"Okay," she breathed, eying me warily. "I'll tell you."

_**CLIFFY! I'LL TRY AND UPDATE ASAP, PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	23. Love Lost

**Disclaimer: Twinkle twinkle little star, I don't own Twilight or Edward's car.**

**I am dedicating this chapter to ****'**_ange-twi-action_**' as a thank you for all the support you've given throughout my stories. It's a pleasure to read your reviews, and your support means a heck of a lot. So yes, read on :)**

"You'll tell me?" I gasped, disbelieving. "You'll honest to God tell me the truth?"

"Yes," she murmured, thoughtful. "You deserve to know everything."

"Oh, Alice!" I squealed, catapulting myself forward and wrapping my arms around her. "Thank you! Please, tell me everything! From the start!"

I could hardly believe it.

I had wanted this for so long – sold my soul for it, almost. I was bound to an evil coven of vampires, more powerful than anything in the world; I did it because I wanted nothing more than my memory back. And now I would have it – my life told to me, the truth, the lies, the sadness, the happiness. It would make my life complete. Everything would fall into place. I would be happy and whole. I would be Bella – not human or vampire, but both. Merged. Merged into a spectacular vampire who knew no limits. I would be the envy of vampires – I would be who I should be.

If I was a puzzle – a jigsaw, a jigsaw portraying a picture of a house, my memory would be the world outside the house. It would be the trees, the ground underneath the foundations of the house. It would be the sky, the air, the oxygen those cardboard people would need. Without it, I was just a house. Spectacular, but I would just be the house, the inside the outside. I would just be _there_.

But now I would have my memory. I could not hide my gratitude. Alice was giving me something that I wanted so much – my missing puzzle piece. And then, I would truly be Bella. I would be Bella Cullen, of the Volturi – what a name.

I bounced eagerly on the bed.

"Are you sure you want to know, Bella?" Alice asked, forever protective. "Once you know...I don't know what it could do."

"Don't worry!" I brushed it off, clinging to the hope of knowing my past. "Please, Alice?"

"Okay," she sighed, before running me through my life in her mind...

"You came to Forks in the middle of the school year. You were the talk of the school for weeks. You first met Edward in Biology class, I think. Your blood sang for him."

"What does 'sang' mean in that context?"

"Your blood called to him. He said it was like wine besides water to an alcoholic."

"Right," I breathed.

"So, he was having trouble controlling himself around you. You thought he hated you..."

"But Edward said everything was perfect?"

Everything she said seemed to be contradicting my husband. Why had he been keeping all this from me? And more to the point, why was Alice telling me, now? Was she lying? Did she have ulterior motives?

"He wanted it to be perfect. It wasn't."

"Oh." I whispered, pain searing through me.

"Around...4 days into your relationship," she laughed; it sounded like the tinkling of bells. "We ran into a murderous coven of vampires, one that tracked you across America, and you eventually caught up to him in Phoenix. You thought he had your mother, and went to meet him. He bit you, but Edward sucked the venom back out. Jasper and Emmett took care of James."

"James..." I breathed. "The name seems...familiar."

"What about Laurent?" She questioned.

"Definitely..." I murmured, astounded.

"I'm so happy you're remembering, Bella." She smiled.

Of course Alice didn't have ulterior motives. She was my best friend, she just wanted to make me happy and to have her best friend back. I scolded myself internally for ever doubting her. I would be whole again, thanks to her.

"Laurent was part of his coven. He came back while we left, and would have killed you, if it was not for the wolves."

"The wolves?" I repeated, staring at her. "What wolves?"

"Wait, wait. I need to tell you something else, first." She berated me. "Edward left, in September. After your birthday."

"Why?" I gasped. "Why would he leave me?"

"You cut your finger at your birthday party - you hadn't even wanted one, so that was my fault. Jasper tried to kill you."

"That's what he meant, then!" I realized, voicing my epiphany out loud.

"What?"

"When I was asking everyone about my relationships with them, he didn't know what to say...I kept on hearing parts of his answer as he decided what to say...and he said he'd tried to kill me...it all makes so much more sense, now..."

"Right." Alice continued. "So, Edward left you. He told you he didn't love you. You were broken. Terribly, terribly broken. Then, you met a werewolf. His name was Jacob-"

"Jacob Black," I gasped, his name being screamed over and over in my head.

"Bella?"

"Jacob Black." I repeated, bracing myself against my knees; I was unable to get enough unneeded air in my lungs. My head was swimming. Jacob Black. I didn't remember who he was, I didn't remember what I had done with him and I didn't remember anything about him. But I knew I loved him.

"Oh my God," I whispered. "Jacob Black." I started to sob softly, my chest heaving. My heart began beating again, inside my head. I warmed back up; the blood pounding through my veins. Everything was so warm. He was everywhere, Jacob Black was running through my veins and I knew that while I didn't know him, he knew me.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Alice pestered again.

"Oh, Alice," I sobbed. "Jacob Black. _My Jacob._" If only I could pretend that was the case. That I was alive again.

"Bella?" Her voice was frantic. "Are you remembering, Bella? Do you remember it all?"

"No," I sobbed. "Only my Jacob. I loved Jacob. I love Jacob...Why didn't you _TELL_ me?!" I screamed, unable to control myself as my head spun. "Why didn't you tell me I loved Jacob?!"

The door burst open again. "She remembers?"

It was Edward.

"How could you _lie_, Edward? How could you do that? To _me_?"

"What?!" He seemed to be going for the denial.

"I love Jacob."

"You remember?" He breathed. "Is it really you, Bella?"

He turned to Alice before I could answer. "What happened? Why does she remember?"

"I told her. She doesn't remember unless you tell her. It's like she's locked away. But she knows she loved him."

"Why did you tell her, Alice? Why?!"

"I deserved to know, Edward!" I cried out, bringing my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

"I wanted a clean slate, Alice! You deprived her of that! A chance to start all over! And she's fucking _lost it!_ All because of your jealousy!"

"I'm not jealous!" Alice growled, standing up as tall as she could to face him.

"Your thoughts lie."

"She doesn't remember it all, Edward." Alice hissed, sounding broken up.

"What do you mean? She obviously remembers!" He shouted.

"Bella?" Jasper's voice was almost a sigh as he made his way towards me warily, walking slower than a human. "You remember?"

I couldn't answer.

He knelt in front of my shaking body and I tried not to acknowledge him.

"Do you know how hard it's been without you, Bella?" He sighed, and I looked up at him, confused. "I've missed you so much."

"She doesn't remember, Jasper." Edward whispered, his tone almost sympathetic.

"She doesn't even know about Victoria yet." Alice murmured.

"Oh," Jasper whispered. "Sorry, Bella. I hope Alice didn't scare you too much."

I shook my head. "What happened to Jacob?"

"She remembers Jacob." He breathed, and it sounded like he was speaking to himself. "But not me."

He was out of the room before I had a chance to blink.

"Where is Jacob, Edward?" I whimpered, turning to him.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." Edward whispered.

"You should be," I couldn't help but retort; he wasn't answering my question. "But where is he? Where is Jacob?"

"Bella...Jacob died."

"Jacob's _dead_?"

"I'm sorry, Bella." Alice wrapped her arms around me.

"When?" I gasped.

"We don't know, Bella." Edward was still wary around me, and he just stared at me, his dark eyes bleeding into me.

"How?"

"I don't know, Bella."

"Who? Why?" I sobbed; this shouldn't be happening. I didn't remember my Jacob, but I knew he was mine. And now I would never see him again.

"Did I have a chance to say goodbye?"

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"Okay."

"I really am." Edward repeated. "I love you."

"I love you too."

My voice was emotionless, inflectionless – a blank monotone. I knew he could see through every act I played, through every smile I would fake if I didn't face up to this now.

"You never really knew him, Bella," Alice whispered.

"But my heart knows him."

"Bella, yes, you did love him, but he wasn't any good for you. And you knew that. That's why you stayed with me."

I nodded. "But I still loved him."

"God knows, Bella, I didn't like that dog-" he paused while I winced. "And he did some terrible things during his time...but I can't say he deserved to die."

I recognized the expression on his face, but couldn't place it.

"Yes, he did some terrible things. But his last act towards you...I'm not sure if that was a blessing or a curse."

I didn't want to hear any more, I childishly covered my ears. I would mourn for my lost love who I'd never known instead of listening to my current love defending him poorly. It was only as I drifted slowly away, farther away from the real world and closer toward the world of my thoughts, I remembered why his expression was so familiar.

Edward used it when he spoke of my memory loss, or of my being turned into a vampire.

It was guilt.


	24. Rose by Any Other Name

**Disclaimer – just a plain old no, for that, kay :D**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE - **_**THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG AND IMPORTANT NOTE, SO PLEASE READ!**_

**Right, first off, thank you all for reviewing. It honestly means a heck of a lot to me. Second, if you are a Jazzy/Bella fan, and are interested in a spoiler for Superbia (the last installment of the Deadly Sins trilogy) then please, tell me so in your review. **

**I'd like to draw your attention to the fact that I'm going to try and finish this story by Friday. YES, FRIDAY. I'm going on holiday to Barcelona –happy dance- so I think it'd be easier to finish Avaritia so that when I come home, I can focus solely on Superbia and reading Breaking Dawn :D **

**Also, I'd like to direct you guys to some absolutely fabulous fics, that really haven't been getting the attention they deserve. So, please try out **_**AusFreak**_**'s fic, Midnight's Shadow. Also, check out the works of my good friend **_**xx . Mari . xx **_**who is also a fabulous writer. **

**And, last but in no way least, **_**Angeliss**_**. Her writing is absolutely fabulous – she's got a good grip on everything. Also, she doesn't think I'm crazy when I explain how I 'step into' a character, because she does it too! **

**So yes; go check them out :D**

**Dedication – I'd like to dedicate this chapter to **_**ecaniaga‏ **_**because I was terribly cruel and she ended up hyperventilating ;) But seriously, she always leaves the loveliest reviews, and has supported me all the way. So thanks for that :D**

**Very short chapter, BTW. The next one will be much longer, I promise. This is just a filler.**

Time passed slower than usual as I sat in the lavish room that Aro had assigned to Alice and I. Edward would poke his head in, now and again, wanting to see if I'd made any progress, but I rarely had.

I was constantly throwing things around in my head – how had the love I'd never known _died?_ Before I'd even had the chance to see him one more time?

Why did Edward look so guilty as he saw me curled up, mourning the loss.

And why, in God's name, had he lied in the first place?

I tried, to no avail, to grasp my memories. I wanted them back in my head, where they belonged. How was it that I could remember Jacob's name and nothing else? How was it that I couldn't remember my change? How was it that I couldn't fully remember falling in love with Edward?

I knew the story, yes. But I didn't see it in my own eyes, I just saw it through Alice's; watching Edward change slowly in front of her eyes, watching the family argue over me.

It wasn't much of a life; not memories to cherish.

Just a story book.

And not a very good one, at that.

* * *

"It's me, Bells!" Emmett came to see me on the second day.

"Hi."

"Awh, don't be like that Bella! I want to see my little sister happy!" Emmett used up most of the space in my room, despite its vastness.

I looked down.

"What's this about? Jacob? Edward? What happened, exactly?"

"Alice told me about my past and I remembered Jacob's name."

"That's it?"

"And Edward lied to me."

"Ouch. Yeah. Sorry about that."

I would have laughed had I not been upset. "Not your fault, Em."

"Okay, then. But what about Jakey-cakey? Miss him?"

"A lot. And I know I love him."

"Ah, right. That's gotta burn."

"Yep." I sighed. I wasn't in the mood for Emmett's natter.

"Talk to me, Bella. I wanna help!"

"Not now, Emmett." I breathed.

He pestered me for a while, before leaving. Because in his opinion, I was, once again, _"a lost cause."_

* * *

"Bella?" Esme came to see me on the fourth day.

"Yes, Esme?" I sighed. I was feeling a little better.

She approached me tentatively, sitting down on the corner of the bed "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling a little better…it just hurts."

"How does it hurt?" She seemed tentative in asking – like she didn't want to upset me any further.

"I can't remember him properly; only his name. And now he's dead."

"I'm so sorry, Bella."

"I can never replace those memories, like I have with Edward, or with Alice, or with you or Carlisle."

"But Bella…"

"No, Esme. I may not remember him but…"

"Bella, snap out of it!" Rosalie's beautiful harsh tones nearly restarted my heart as she sauntered in through the door Esme had left open.

I could only whimper, "What?"

"Edward's moping around like some sort of rag doll, Jasper and Alice are _still_ arguing, Esme and Carlisle are worried about you…and Emmett has been moaning so much about you that I'm ready to stab myself in the ears! Look, Bella, you're my sister, but you're sitting around crying yourself out when you haven't even got any tears, for someone that you can't even remember meeting, or loving, or spending time with! You love him, but you don't know why, or what he did to create that relationship!"

"But I know I love him." I whispered; my tone was strangely fragile and lost.

"You don't know squat! Back it up now, Bella! You don't even know this kid! What you know is being here with us! So stop mourning over him, and come shopping with me!"

I smiled. "Of course, Rose."

**I dislike this chapter, but like I said, it's a filler!**


	25. Girl Time

**Disclaimer: I own the plot line, not the story.**

**Okay guys, I think I was thinking a bit too ideally when I said I'd be finished by Friday – how can I get another 5 chapters in by 3:00am on Friday morning! Impossible! So, yeah, I think I'm going to maybe do as much as possible – leave you guys on a nice-ish ending.**

**I burnt today! smacks self. So this chapter may have more than a few spelling mistakes – I'm rubbing after sun on myself every five minutes :')**

"Rosalie!" Esme chided. "That wasn't very nice!"

"Don't worry about it, Mom!" Rosalie brushed it off. "Bella's up and running again, now!"

"But that still wasn't very nice. I know you meant well." Esme was always the mother.

"I'm fine, Mom, honestly." I grinned. "I know she meant well, too."

Esme sighed, and her smile was wistful. "I guess you don't need your parents as much as you used to."

"You'll always be my Mom, Esme." I smiled. "Whether I get more independent or not!"

She smiled happily and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm glad you're okay again."

"Thank you."

"You know he only did it because he loves you." She lowered her tone.

"I guess so," I hugged her tightly back. "Thanks Mom."

"For what?" She smiled.

"For helping."

"Oh, dear, I tried, but I think only Rose's terrible case of outspokenness could have pulled you from your sorrows!" She joked.

I giggled. "What a piece of work you are, Rose,"

"What a piece of work I am," she agreed, eyeing herself in the mirror.

Esme and I giggled companionably – the oestrogen levels in the room must have been rocketing!

"Better go and tell Alice that we're going to shop," Rosalie said. "Are you coming, Esme?"

"Yes, I'm coming." She smiled.

"Why? She'll have already seen it!" I laughed.

"She can't see _you_, silly!" Esme nudged me gently. "So she can't see us."

I smiled. "Let's go and tell her then."

I walked out of the door with my mother and sister, and only one thought ran through my head. I had forgotten about how I'd lost my love, I'd forgotten about my missing memories, and I'd forgotten about how my husband had lied to me.

Because, this was family.

"You can't go shopping!" Edward said, wrapping his arms around me.

"Oh yes, Edward, we can!" Rosalie giggled, dragging Alice into her room, leaving Edward and I in the corridor.

"Are you feeling better?"

I resisted the urge to ask him why in the hell he cared. "Marginally."

"I'm sorry." His arms tightened unconsciously around me and I pressed myself tighter to him.

"It's okay. But don't think this is over, Mr Cullen," I joked. "I want to know why you lied!"

"I didn't really lie-" He started, but I covered his lips with my own.

"Edward, you better think up a really good excuse, because I am not happy in the least. Now I'm going shopping!"

"Come on, Bella, we need to cover you up!" Alice shrieked. I hadn't heard her this happy...ever.

"Cover me up?" I laughed, gliding into the room.

The sight before me stopped me dead.

Alice and Rosalie were standing in the middle of the room in bikinis; Alice was covering Rosalie in some kind of thick paste.

"What on Earth is that?" I demanded, running over to them.

"Foundation!" Esme laughed, walking out of the bathroom.

Edward was in hysterics beside me, but I still hadn't gained control of myself enough for that, or anything else.

Esme's skin was a dark tan, covered completely all over. Alice had been busy. If I had not known better, I would have thought that Esme originated from Italy herself.

"Wow," was all I could push out of my mouth.

Esme eyed Edward. "Please, son. I don't look _that_ bad, do I?"

I could sense the worry in her voice, and so I spoke the truth. "It's different to seeing your pale skin...but I like it!"

She relaxed visibly. "Oh, good! Because I quite like it!"

I smiled. "I like it too."

"Done!" Alice announced, pushing Rosalie away.

Rose's blonde hair contrasted with the tan foundation Alice had pasted all over her – she looked so much like a supermodel that it was unfair.

I wasn't given much time to react to Rosalie's appearance; Alice was stripping my clothes away at lightning speeds.

"Alice!" I protested; Edward was still in the room.

"Shut up, and close your mouth and eyes. Don't wanna impair you, now do I?" She joked.

At least, I hoped she was joking.

"Come on now, Alice," Esme reproached her. "Bella's never been smothered in foundation before!"

"And you have?" I mumbled, not wanting to open my mouth fully.

"Oh, yes." Rosalie laughed. "Africa was so fun! I was covered in the stuff. And bronzer! Oh, it was _so_ fun!" She gushed. "And then Jasper and Emmett started rubbing the stuff off of each other, and they were sparkling..." she trailed off for effect.

"Good times," Alice agreed, slapping foundation on my legs.

"Why do you have to do my legs, Alice?" I protested through almost-closed lips.

"You're wearing a kaftan – but you'll still be able to see your legs through it."

"Hmph," was my answer.

"Done!" She trilled. "Open eyes!"

When I did, I flew over to the mirror, ignoring Alice's whining.

"Wow." I breathed.

"Yeah, yeah, you look hot, now come do me!"

"Who looks hot?" Emmett boomed, walking into the room.

He stopped dead when he looked up, calling to the corridor, "Jasper, we have four half naked women in here rubbing chocolate spread on each other, you might wanna get in here!"

Jasper didn't come whizzing in like Emmett would have; he walked in as though he wasn't even interested.

Though, his emotions were pure excitement.

"Don't get too excited there boys, it's just foundation!" I laughed. "And from what I heard, you've both been covered in it before!"

"Bella," Emmett whistled, coming up behind me. "You look smokin'!"

Rosalie whacked him upside the head.

"What, Rose?! She does!" Rosalie hit him again. "Ouch! Back me up here, Jasper!"

I watched Jasper walk further into the room, and his eyes raked up and down my frame.

"I agree. Smoking."

"Don't sound so indifferent!" I laughed, swatting him playfully as he approached me.

"Well, I think you look beautiful," Edward compensated, kissing me gently on the lips.

I turned back to the mirror, eyeing myself – I looked fabulous.

"I think if you look long enough, Bella, you'll turn into Rose!" Emmett joked.

Rosalie hit him again, making an exasperated sound.

"I want foundation on!" Alice whined. "Stick it to me!"

"Fine," I sighed, leaving the mirror image of my gorgeous body behind and taking another foundation pot from her outstretched hand and bending down to rub it over her legs.

"Guys, let's get out." Emmett hissed, stiffening. "I can't take this!"

"Can't take what, Emmy?" Rosalie asked sarcastically.

"Rose...three of you are in bikinis...and Bella's _there_...bending...in her underwear and they're practically...see through..." Emmett trailed off, and Rosalie hit him again - it had no effect, he continued ogling. "Guys...seriously, let's get out of here. I can't handle it!"

Edward and Jasper laughed, following him out of the room.

"What are we wearing, then, Alice?" Esme laughed, twirling me around in front of the mirror giddily.

"Wait 'til you see! I'm so glad I brought all this stuff! I had a vision that Rose and I were shopping, so I'd imagine you and Esme had gone somewhere else – that's how I could see."

"Yay!" I squealed "Let's see!"

"Rose, for you..." Alice was instantly in fashion mode, laying outfits out on the bed. "Roberto Cavalli visor!"

Rosalie squealed excitedly.

"Espadrilles and an art print bikini from Chloe..."

Esme let out a low whistle in appreciation.

"A tie dye dress from Lulu, and a bag from Escada!"

"I _love_ you, Alice!" Rose squealed, picking up her outfit and scampering off to the bathroom.

"Esme!" Alice squealed. "Wait until you see!"

Esme was excited too – more so than myself, even.

"You didn't!" Esme gasped.

"I _DID!_"

I felt like I was part of a movie – where the main character and her clique squeal about something no one else understands.

"What?" I asked.

"I got Esme _the_ asymmetric swimsuit – _with a buckle –_ from Gucci!"

Rosalie came screeching back into the room. "You've wanted that forever, Esme!"

Esme was holding the swimsuit in her hands – it did look fabulous. "We have to go swimming, girls!"

Alice nodded eagerly. "It'll be fantastic!"

"So, Esme, a maxi-dress from French Connection, gold thong sandals and a gold woven bag from Miu Miu!"

"Thank you, Alice!" Esme squealed, changing instantly.

"Bella..." she smiled. "This is for you. It's a _Diane von Furstenberg_ kaftan – and it was a complete and utter bargain!"

She held in her hands a red kaftan – chiffon in material, with gorgeous gold detailing at the hem.

"Really?" I smiled. "How much?"

"1,896 dollars!" She squealed.

"Right. What else?"

"These," she handed me a pare of square sunglasses – red rimmed. "They're Kirk Originals!"

"Oh, and Chloe flip flops! Aren't they gorgeous?!" Rosalie nodded in appreciation.

I smiled. I had no idea who these people were.

"And this bandeau bikini. I had it specially made!"

I smiled beatifically at her. "Thanks, Alice!"

"What did you get yourself, Alice?" Esme asked kindly.

"A gold bandeau bikini by Miu Miu, a floral kaftan by Antik Batik, gladiator sandals and Michael Kors sunglasses."

"Lovely!" Rose exclaimed, examining the sunglasses.

"Get changed, Bella. Once I do your make-up we're hot to trot!"

"Sure, Alice!" I laughed. I loved my sisters.


	26. Building Bridges

**Disclaimer: I'm the f-cking king of the world, get on your knees. I'm the f-cking king of the world, give me Twilight please (8)(6)**

**Face it guys. I think I was over-estimating myself when I thought I'd have it done by tomorrow. So we're screwed. Maybe I'll fit in this chapter at the most...but no end-of-story. Sorry guys! I hope you all enjoy Breaking Dawn – I'll be getting it after you guys, I guess! **

"It would look bellisimo, Miss Alice!" cried the zealous shop assistant, fluttering around Alice in the dressing room.

"Can I get it, Esme?" Alice begged, hopping out of the dressing room.

"No need to ask me, dear," Esme was a little preoccupied with a pair of Prada heels. "You've got your card."

Alice squealed and went hurrying off to the dressing room again.

Rosalie and I were sitting in incredibly comfy leather armchairs while Esme browsed through the shoe department.

"Bella," Rose began, leaning forward in her chair. "I want to have a chat with you."

"Chat away," I smiled.

I had never really had a proper conversation with my eternally beautiful sister, and this sudden spout of comradeship had taken me by surprise – though it was a nice surprise, of course.

"Look, Bella...I know I haven't really made much of an effort to reinstate a relationship between us since you've been with us..."

"I don't mind, Rosalie." I smiled.

"Well...I thought you probably had a load of questions to ask me about things, so go ahead!"

I smiled. "Um, okay. Do you mind telling me a little about yourself?"

"My life or my afterlife?" Her tone seemed a little darker now.

"Either," I encouraged.

"In my life, I was Rosalie Hale, soon to be married to Royce King – the closest thing to royalty there was. I came home from my friend Vera's house one night and Royce and his friends were on the street. They..." she struggled for words, but her thoughts conveyed what she couldn't outright say. "They abused me and left me for dead. Carlisle saved me."

Her tone was darker than the blackest night, but I could hear and feel her pain in it. The images flashing through her mind as she spoke casually of the incident showed me that she did not see it in that way whatsoever. And she had good reason.

"I'm so sorry, Rose," I whispered, leaning over and wrapping my arm around her.

"It's fine. I'm over it now."

I raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

_It still hurts, but I'm dealing with it. It won't completely go away, but Emmett keeps me whole._

I nodded, smiling at her. "Thank you for telling me."

"I suppose you want to hear about my afterlife, now?"

"I wouldn't mind," I smiled.

"I'm incredibly in love with Emmett, and mostly, I'm pretty happy. I was a bitch to you throughout your human life – more so to the end. And I want to make things better now. I want to be your sister.

"I disliked you for being human – you were willingly giving up what I wanted; your life meant nothing to you, if you could spend eternity with Edward. Carlisle made the choice for me. I would never have given up my life willingly.

"All I wanted was to have my life back. Because now, even though I've got Emmett - and he's all I need - I still wish we could have grown old together, had children, watched them have our grandchildren..."

She trailed off, and her smile was wistful. In her mind, images sailed through of herself and Emmett surrounded by boys with curly blond hair, and girls with dark and light locks...

"I'm sorry, Rose." My eyebrows pulled together. How could this have happened to such a lovely person?

"Don't fret. I've lost, yes. But so have you. And you continue to lose. It's not in the same form, but it's still not fair. Nothing in afterlife is."

"I just think, if I knew more..." I trailed off. Would she tell me? I hoped...

"Bella, I won't tell you."

_Dammit._ I hissed mentally.

"Bella, if you think there are things that you haven't been told that are good, then you're sorely mistaken. Your life was riddled with mystery and danger, thanks to us being what we are.

"It worried Edward enough at the time that you'd leave him – and it could have happened one too many times - knowing what you've left behind isn't a good thing. This way, you won't be riddled by your past, like myself. I'm all for keeping you in the dark."

"Thanks, Rose," I muttered sarcastically.

"I'm sorry Bella. But I figure, we can make you new memories, right?"

"Yeah..." I was completely indifferent.

"Bella, look, let me put this into perspective for you. We're in the heart of the world's fashion capital, the sun is beating down on us and for once, we're not sparkling. We've got the world at our feet – I mean, you have no idea how many model scouts are going to approach us today!"

I laughed.

"And I know right now that you haven't really got a best friend – and I understand Alice is upset, even though you don't – and I thought maybe..."

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe I could be your best friend?"

"I'd love that, Rosalie!" I smiled, hopping up completely this time, and hugging her.

"I'm glad, Bella." She smiled. "You and I have got so much to catch up on!"

"Really?" I laughed.

"Yes, and so much to plan!"

"Really?" I repeated. I could not think of a thing.

"We all have to go swimming together, and we still have to take your wedding pictures!"

"Oh my God!" I screeched. "Yes! I forgot!"

"That's what I'm here for," she laughed.

Esme and Alice finally made their entrance with another handful of shopping bags.

"I love Milan!" Alice squealed, hopping up and down with her bags.

"So much better than the UK," Esme agreed.

"I've never been to the UK," I laughed. "What's it like?"

"More to add to the list!" Rosalie squealed. "Wedding pictures, swimming, take Bella to Britain..."

**Right, guys. I am one of those people who despise Author's Notes in the middle of a chapter, but I thought you should know that I've just put fake nails on, in anticipation of Barcelona tomorrow. So my typing is going to be, to put it bluntly, shit. Sorry bout that.**

"All on the list!" Alice cried.

"Let's go back to Volterra," Esme smiled. "We should get back late enough that it'll be dark, but soon enough that we'll be able to get the men and head out to the seaside!"

**And now I've run outta time. Sorry about that. I'm going on holiday in quite literally, a few hours. I don't really want to go, but I have to. So I'm sorry this is short but I felt you guys deserved something.**

**Enjoy Breaking Dawn & I'll be back soon!**

**Nia xx**


	27. Jumping

**Disclaimer: **_No one knows who you are, just another girl, alone at the bar – unless you're Stephenie Meyer... what? Wait? You are?! (8) _**Okay, so I'm not. And I don't own Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3 either.**

**Author's Note:**

**Well guys, I've finished Breaking Dawn. In 6 hours, might I add :D I know, I know, that I sent out a few review replies warning you that due to a spoiler that I read (that was legitimate), I thought I'd take a break from Fanfic...But because I expected a disaster, I LOVED IT! Sometimes it wasn't perfect, I'll admit – predictable and sometimes in the fashion of a fanfic? In fact, I was actually pondering about writing my own Breaking Dawn, but I will not. I know what I've got in the pipeline- you guys'll have to wait and see.**

**Never mind! So, on with the show, ladies (and gents?)**

* * *

"You can't say you've ever done anything compared to this!" Edward smiled, swaying my body from side to side gently as his arms locked a little tighter around my waist.

"I know I haven't," I breathed. "So what if I'm a little scared?"

"Bella," Edward's voice was almost chiding as he reassured me. "It's just water. All you have to do is jump."

He had already been in, but had been forced to climb back out to retrieve me when I had stayed still at the peak.

Now, I could feel the drips of ice water, cooling in the light breeze that was unnatural for a place so high up, dripping down his perfectly sculpted torso and dampening my swimsuit. It made me itch to jump, to dive, to feel the cool water that would not affect me caressing my body in its embrace, to listen for the distinct movements of life closer to the ocean floor, so far from us that we would not be able to see them, even with our enhanced eyesight.

And yet, I still could not move.

We were standing at the top of the highest cliff I had ever seen. It was taller than our house at home, higher than the Volturi's fortress, taller than the buildings in Milan. It was enormous.

And Edward expected me to jump off it, into the icy water that waited below.

Our siblings and parents had already taken the plunge. It looked safe enough to me; the water was calm, it was twilight – there was no danger of the sun – and we were the only life forms resembling human beings for miles. The surface of the water barely rippled as my eternally perfect family tread water calmly, enjoying one another's company.

I was more than ready to jump from this cliff and join them.

But every time I got close to the edge, every time I bent my knees to jump, my body shut down in fear.

I was immobilized.

What was it about cliffs? Did Bella Swan have some sort of stupid aversion to them? Some stupid aversion that had carried over into Bella Cullen's life? Some stupid aversion that I would now have to overcome?

"I can do it, Edward." I breathed.

"Take your time, love." His arms removed themselves from my waist slowly; I knew he didn't want to startle me.

"You first."

He complied, bending his knees to gain some power, then flinging himself off the cliff.

His marble body spiralled down towards the glass surface; I was so sure that he would smash it, sending shards up into the air to meet me. He plunged like a torpedo, hitting the floor and ricocheting back up to the surface, that rippled now.

"Come on, Bella!" He shouted, smiling up at me. He didn't wait for me; next thing I knew he was with our family – laughing and talking.

If I had been human, my heart would have been beating its way out of my rib cage as I looked over the steep cliff. I stepped closer to the edge, curling my bare toes over the rough edge of the land.

"_You can do this_," I whispered to myself, reassuring myself - I was still terrified. I bent my knees.

Suddenly, it felt like all the breath had been knocked out of me.

* * *

_Where was I?_ I wondered, turning around wildly. I could see the Cullens in the sparse ocean before me; I was atop a cliff.

I remembered the last time I'd been atop a cliff, one that was not as high as this. The rain was battering down against my fragile body harshly - I was so glad it wasn't raining now – and I was listening to a perfect replica of my one true love's voice, clear as a bell despite the wind and rain; the voice of my lost love's angry tones, warning me away from the edge that would come closer, screaming in protest as my body hurtled towards the dark waves that would greet me, and finally, willing me to save myself as the water of La Push tried to claim my life.

He had been quiet as Jacob Black tugged me from the depths, had been quiet as Jacob Black saved my life.

I remembered Jake's last meeting with myself so clearly, now. The way I turned into his chest, unable to hold onto myself any more. It was raining so badly, and I was screaming into his hot chest, hitting him...

"Bella, are you coming?" Edward spoke from the water. I shouldn't have been able to hear him as he was so far away; I ignored that and braced myself.

Everything was so clear on this cliff. The sounds, my sight, everything. And even though I felt like I'd missed the last god-knows-how-long of my life, I was instantly happy. My family looked happy. And while I wasn't a vampire yet, and while the last thing I really remembered was being in bed with Edward, I was definitely ready for anything that could hit me.

"Bella," Edward repeated. "Are you coming?"

The memories of falling hit me again like a battering ram.

And I wanted to fall again.

"I'm coming," I whispered, knowing he probably couldn't hear me this high up.

I bent my knees, rejoicing in the almost identical memory.

And I flung myself off the cliff.

For two seconds, I had never been so happy in my life. The wind took me, spiraling my body to-and-fro. I took a lungful of air – I wasn't going to drown again.

Then I hit the water.

* * *

"Well done, Bella!" Esme cooed as I swam over to them. "You faced your fear!"

I smiled. However I'd done it, I had. But I remembered nothing. All I remembered was hitting the water; the ice plunging around me, and resurfacing.

I could not remember jumping.

I could not remember deciding to jump.

The last thing I remembered was bending my knees in anticipation of the jump – I didn't even remember having that internal battle that I nearly _always_ had when I was making a decision; all vampires had that complex, I heard it in their heads.

"You enjoyed that jump, didn't you?" Emmett laughed.

"I think so," I murmured.

"What do you mean, you think?" Jasper was the first to ask.

"I don't...I don't know...Something happened...like I blacked out or something..."

"Bella?" Edward gasped, his arms wrapping around me in the water. "Is it you?"

"Am I what?" I asked, my forehead scrunching together.

"Never mind," he breathed._ I was so sure it'd be her this time._

"Bella, let's go to shore," Rosalie urged. "You don't sound so good!"

I complied, letting Edward drag me effortlessly to the wall he'd previously scaled.

"Do you think you can climb, Bella?" Edward asked, his eyes worried.

"Um, I think so," I smiled. "It's not like there's anything wrong with me now, is there?"

"You might black out again!" _Don't sound hopeful_, he chided himself.

That was it.

Edward was hiding something from me, I knew it! And now – to remind himself mentally that he shouldn't be hopeful that I blacked out?!

"What?" I growled, unable to contain myself.

"What, Bella?" Edward cooed, tucking a lock of my wet hair behind my ear.

"'_Don't sound hopeful_'? I think you're forgetting I can read your mind, Edward!"

"O-oh, Bella, I- I didn't mean..." He seemed to struggle for words, and it made me even angrier.

"Don't even answer me Edward, I don't even want to know what that's all about!"

I pulled myself out of his arms, securing myself to the cliff face and hauling myself up slowly. Edward, not wanting to upset me, stayed in the water. I could see myself clambering away from him – his thoughts were as always, open to me.

But I had to see for myself. I continued climbing, but I turned the top half of my body to the right so that I could see down below.

And I lost my footing.

Well, my handing, my footing, whichever.

The distraction of my husband's face distorted in pain and shame was amplified by the fact that I could feel it, too. The way he wished for something unknown.

And I was distracted to a point where my hands no longer found purchase, my feet could not grip the stone.

To the point where my body came loose from the sheer cliff face, and went hurtling down towards the water.

There was no danger coming, of that I was aware; I could breathe underwater.

But for the second time today, I felt air leaving my lungs in a great whooshing gasp.

* * *

I was falling.

Dear lord help me, I was falling.

To my death, most likely. There were rocks at the bottom of this cliff, I was aware – even though I could not see them.

And I was falling so fast.

I would hit them.

It was unlikely that my vampire family would be able to save me before I died. I looked on the bright side; they would finally change me into a vampire. They had no other choice – apart from me dying and leaving their lives forever.

Though, maybe they'd want that.

I wouldn't hurt Edward or Alice any more. And Rose had always wanted me gone. But Jasper? Jasper would miss me, wouldn't he?

_My Bella!_ Somehow I heard Jasper's tortured cry, as clear as a bell in my head. Was this some kind of a hallucination too?

I waited for the sharp hit of the rocks piercing through my skin – this fall seemed too long.

Suddenly, I felt two rock hard slabs slamming into my back, knocking the breath out of me and ending my fall.

I cried out in agony, waiting for the pain to worsen as jagged shards of rock pierced my internal organs and snapped my ribs.

"Bella?" Jasper's frantic voice was right by my ear. "Bella? Are you okay?"

"Jasper?" I breathed.

I hadn't thought I'd be this close to him ever again. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by the perfection of this moment; Jasper had saved my life.

"Bella? Bella are you okay?" I twisted in his arms – the rock slabs that had prevented my death – to see the beauty of his face.

"Jasper," I breathed his name like a lament. "I've missed you so much,"

"Bella?" His voice was more urgent, his eyebrows furrowing in worry and confusion.

I tended to have that effect on people. "I've missed you so much," I gasped. "It's all been so dark..."

"You...do you remember?"

"Remember? Not everything...it's all been so dark..."

It was utterly silent in our bubble, but I could hear the family's frantic voices as though they were right in my ears.

_She remembers!_

_Is she okay?_

The voices mixed into a paste; all I was aware of was Jasper.

"What do you remember, Bella?" His voice was musical.

"The last thing I remember is jumping...and before that, I was with Edward...and before that, Edward biting me...

"And before that, you. I remember everything."

"Oh, Bella," Jasper sounded as though he were in pain. "You're okay now, Bella, I'm here with you."

"And I remember." I smiled. I couldn't resist, my mouth formed around the words before I was aware, though my mouth made no sound.

"I love you."

I was utterly comfortable in his arms, knowing that the outside world did not matter; suddenly I felt myself being pulled away from him.

* * *

My breath returned to me in another gasp as I inhaled quickly.

"Oh my God, what happened?" I asked, turning awkwardly in my current position. I was in Jasper's arms. "I'm so sorry, Jasper! Did I fall on you?"

"Yes." Jasper's tone was unusually harsh – he seemed somehow hurt. "You did."

"I'm so sorry!" I squealed, scrambling – somewhat gracefully - out of his arms and onto the slippery rocks.

"Don't worry about it."

"Are you okay, Bella?" Rose slid over the jagged rocks like a ghost, but her face portrayed her anxiety.

"I think so..." I answered. "I think I blacked out for a second...what happened?"

"What do you remember?" Esme was next to me, her arm around my shoulders.

"I remember losing my footing...I remember knowing I was going to fall...and then it was just black."

"Then you woke up in Jasper's arms." Esme confirmed.

"Yes." I smiled – she understood.

"This sounds serious to me, Bella." Carlisle looked worried, his usual calm mask was thrown away.

_Something is very much wrong here._ His thoughts feared for my safety.

For my _sanity_.

"Climb on my back," Edward spoke for the first time. "We need to get to the top of the cliff."

I nodded and complied, securing myself to his body as tightly as I could.

He scaled the cliff in seconds, and I clung tighter to his back as he swung a leg over the edge of the cliff, sending us hurtling over it.

"Woah!" I gasped, vertigo overwhelming me.

"Are you alright Bella?" Esme asked, taking my hand as I settled myself onto the coarse grass.

"I think so." I smiled.

I felt so fragile; it was weird feeling so utterly breakable – I wasn't, but my family was treating me as so. As though I would fall apart at any given moment.

"Don't worry about it sis," Emmett chuckled, but it was somewhat forced.

I could feel his worry.

"I bet it's something Aro put in your drink!" He laughed.

"She doesn't drink anything, stupid!" Rose exclaimed, slapping a hand across the back of his head again.

That made me laugh. "I think that was the point of the joke, Rosalie!"

"That is a curious thought, though. This could have something to do with the Volturi!" Alice mused.

"No," Edward mumbled. "It happened before they came, too..."

"What?" Carlisle's tone was curt; he seemed...angry. If I hadn't been empathetic to his emotions, I would have sworn his expression off as a trick of the light – he was never angry. "Do you realise how much danger you put Bella in by not telling us, Edward?"

"Carlisle!" I exclaimed. "Honestly, it doesn't matter! I barely remember it myself!"

"Yes, because you'd blacked out!" He retorted.

The entire family was still; none of us had ever seen Carlisle without his composure.

"What happens, Bella, just before you black out?" Carlisle asked, becoming his doctor-self. "Is there any sort of pattern?"

"Um, I don't know...I guess when I'm feeling a little...upset, maybe?"

"No, no," Edward disagreed. "It's definitely when she's overwhelmed."

"Right," Carlisle murmured.

"And when she feels calm, more comfortable, she...blacks in again?"

"Bella," Carlisle's sweet voice was grave. "I can't begin to fathom what's wrong with you at the moment," _though I have an idea,_ "so I think maybe we'd best try and stay calm about this – you make sure not to get yourself overwhelmed, okay?"

I nodded, ignoring his thoughts. I probably didn't want to know. "Of course, Carlisle."

Whatever was wrong with me felt dangerous, I would not go looking for trouble, that I was sure of. It felt so unfamiliar to be in this position, to be the worry of the entire family, to be the dampener on their spirits.

I had to fix this.

* * *

**Oh, and if anyone happens to have 'Rihanna – Disturbia', please PM me – I can't stop listening to it, but you-tubing gets tiresome xD**

**& If you didn't understand ANYTHING, do not hesitate to ask!**


	28. Family

**Disclaimer: **** If I owned it, I'd be off rolling in money. 1.3 MILLION COPIES! Like I said, ****_rolling_.**

**Author's note: **

**A lot of you asked the same question in different manners, so I thought I'd answer it all here:**

**What in the hell is happening to Bella?**

**Well, basically, Bella is almost in two parts: there's Bella 1 - that we've known straight through all of the books, and all through Luxuria - but she was lost (for an unknown – to you guys - reason) after her change. Then, we've got Bella 2, the one we've known since her change, all through Avaritia. This is the dominant Bella. **

**But, when Bella gets overwhelmed - jumping off a cliff, or falling off one, whatever, Bella 2 disappears, and lets Bella 1 in. **

**Bella 2 doesn't remember the times when Bella 1 takes over, just like Bella 1 doesn't remember when Bella 2 is in charge. **

**And once Bella 1 calms down again, Bella 2 takes control. **

**So basically, it just works like that!**

**And so, when Jasper caught her, she was still overwhelmed from the fall, so she was Bella 1. Then, she calmed down and got more comfortable, so Bella 2 gained control again. **

* * *

**I'd also like to dedicate this chapter to _amandantx _for sending me the song I was obsessing over, having a nice chat with me on msn and being incredibly supportive! **

* * *

"Carlisle," Alice began, as we walked through the underground tunnels that would lead us to the centre point of the vampire world. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Alice," I could hear a smile in his voice. "Shoot."

She lowered her voice, even though we would all hear her. "Why did you get so angry at Edward, before?"

"Alice, what is the most important thing to me in this unlife?"

"Esme?" Alice was unsure – because I was near.

"Yes, and second to that?"

"Um...us?"

"Yes, Alice." Carlisle's tone was grave as we slid through the damp tunnels the Volturi guard used daily. "And therefore, how do you think it makes me feel when I find out that my newest family member is unwell and I can't do a thing about it? I'm supposed to be a doctor, and yet I can't help her." His voice was gradually rising as his anger accompanied it. "And then I find out her significant other didn't bother telling us that this had happened before the incident we were present during."

"I see." Alice murmured.

"I don't think you do," Carlisle countered. He was losing his cool quickly – Esme touched his shoulder in a calming gesture, but he nudged her away. "Something is happening to my newest daughter, and I can't do anything. I always know what to do. I am the one who makes everything right!"

Suddenly, Carlisle was gone. A light breeze sent the mildew from the damp walls flying across our path as he sped away from us.

He needed to be alone.

"Go after him," Rosalie murmured.

"Me?"

Why on Earth would Carlisle want _me_ right now? I was the root of his trouble; I was the one who made him feel inadequate, useless. Why would he want to see me now?

"Yes, you," Esme breathed. "Please, Bella."

The entire family was at a standstill, none of us had moved.

"I want to... but I'll upset him more." I couldn't keep my voice from breaking.

I turned to Edward for comfort, but he was completely unreadable – a marble carving.

I turned away from him, and started slowly down the dim corridor.

Carlisle wasn't far away; we could all smell him just down the corridor, at the opening in the tunnel that made space for the thick wooden doors that opened into the Volturi building.

"Carlisle?" I murmured, stepping out of the shadows into the light of the torches.

My father was huddled against the cold bricks, his head in his hands.

"Yes, Bella?" Carlisle's voice was unlike I'd ever heard it – hopeless, tired.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle." I sunk down onto the hard floor next to him.

"This is not in the least your fault, Bella. It's all mine. I should be treating you, or at least telling you what I know. But I have no idea what's happening to you and so I can't help."

"It's not your fault, Dad, don't be absurd! I doubt I'll _die_ from this illness, right?" My poor attempt to inject humour into the conversation missed its mark.

"No, but...I don't know what'll happen to you." He bowed his head. "Bella, I took you away from your family so that you could come into mine. I'm a doctor, and there's nothing that I enjoy more than being able to save lives, whether it's immediately or in the long run. So how can I live with myself if I know my daughter is unwell, and I cannot treat her because I know too little?"

"Dad, you'll just have to give me the benefit of the doubt on this one, okay?" He nodded. "Whether there's something horrendously wrong with me or not, you are _still my father_. You may not be the only father I've ever had, but you're the only one I've known, and know. And I know that you're always going to be there for me when I need you, and even when I don't you'll be waiting. Do you think that I think of you as less of a _father _because you can't explain what's happening to me?" I questioned, sure that this wasn't the case.

He nodded. My dead heart sank.

"Oh, Dad," I gasped, wrapping my arms around him awkwardly. "Don't feel bad that you don't know what's going on in my crazy head – I don't think anybody does," I joked. "Don't blame yourself for this."

The rest of the family had been inching closer to us as we spoke; I had been listening to their cautious words in my mind. Now, they approached us. They sensed it was as over as it could be, I guess.

I heard Carlisle make the decision mentally, and I could not help but blurt it out audibly.

"We're leaving?" I gasped.

"Yes," Carlisle confirmed. "We're going home."

"How will Aro take it?" Esme asked, walking forward to her husband.

"Quite graciously." Alice smiled.

"Double check, Bella." Carlisle ordered.

I looked to the future; it was not an easy job. I was inexperienced in this field, having only had one vision assault me in the past. I kept Alice's gift locked away inside my mental box.

I looked forward. It was almost like Google; I typed 'Aro's reaction to Cullens leaving Volterra' into my search box, and the vision appeared.

"_But Carlisle! Why must you leave so soon?" Aro crooned._

"_Bella is unwell, we feel it's best for her to be in a more familiar environment, and we've been here for a while, now, Aro."_

"_Not long enough, my friend!"_

_Carlisle's tone grew bored. "We've been here too long, old friend. It is not as comfortable for us as it is for you – we are used to a home, rather than a residence._ _Of course, we will arrange to meet when you require Bella's company."_

"_I understand, Carlisle. I hope you will all visit us again in the near future – it has been quite entertaining!"_

_Carlisle nodded. _

I retreated from the vision and closed the gift away again.

"Graciously, yes." I confirmed.

"Then we should go and pack."

And with that, the Cullen family walked through the thick wooden doors of the Volturi's home, and prepared to go _home_.

* * *

"We are very sorry about this, Aro." Carlisle apologized. Again.

"Obviously not, dear friend. You are leaving too soon!"

"It has been a week, dear Aro. A little too long for us to take advantage of your hospitality. We miss our home."

"But Carlisle! Why must you leave so soon?" Aro crooned.

"Bella is unwell, we feel it's best for her to be in a more familiar environment, and we've been here for a while, now, Aro."

Wow. Alice must find life so...tiring. To see everything repeated _twice?_ This was boring me already! I was prepared to deliver their lines, by now!

"Not long enough, my friend!"

Carlisle's tone grew bored. "We've been here too long, old friend. It is not as comfortable for us as it is for you – we are used to a home, rather than a residence. Of course, we will arrange to meet when you require Bella's company."

"I understand, Carlisle. I hope you will all visit us again in the near future – it has been quite entertaining!"

Carlisle nodded, and left Aro's side to direct the servants to our luggage.

I approached my family – of sorts.

"Dear brothers," I smiled. "It is truly a shame that we are leaving!"

"Stay longer, dear Bella!" Aro encouraged. "I'm sure you could convince Carlisle!"

"My father's mind is made, my apologies, Aro. I am not of a sane mind, at the moment." I laughed.

I could see Jane shaking in Alec's arms out of the corner of my eye. I realised: I frightened her. This caught me off guard. It made me happy.

"Whatever is the matter, Isabella?" My most vocal friend questioned, again.

"I seem to be experiencing black-outs, when I am overwhelmed, or something to that effect. I remember nothing of my experiences during which times I am overwhelmed."

"Oh,_ cara mia!_" Aro exclaimed. "That does not sound healthy at all! I extend my greatest condolences – hopefully you will be healthier in time for your next visit?"

"I am sure I shall be," I smiled. "Take care of yourselves, dear brothers. I shouldn't wish to come back and find a battleground!" I laughed, and Aro's tinkling laugh joined mine.

Aro kissed my hand, Marcus and Caius nodded and did the same.

I flitted away so that my _real_ family could say their farewells.

And I couldn't resist.

I floated over to the little girl who was huddled in her brother's arms, her eyes wide and fearful, her mind screaming.

"Hello, Jane." My voice was velvet.

"Bella." She tried to muster up some sort of malice, and failed miserably.

"How are you feeling?"

"Perfect." She lied.

"And you, Alec?" I smiled beatifically at him.

"Very well too, Mistress. How are you?" Alec _had_ to be polite to me, as did Jane.

Though, Alec didn't mind. _Not in the least,_ according to his open mind.

"I'm very well, thank you, Alec. We'll be going home, now. But I look forward to seeing you-" I eyed Jane speculatively. "Both, very soon."

I returned to my family and intertwined my hand with Edward's rigid one.

We walked out of the doors with our thick cloaks on, into the shadows of Volterra.

"The Cullens," Emmett announced, "have left the building!"

* * *

_**I'd also like to express how completely and utterly horrified I am that people have begun a protest to return their Breaking Dawn books. I personally feel, while the book was not the best of the series, it is utterly childish and is very inconsiderate to Stephenie to return the book to whatever store or website it was purchased at. **_

_**It actually sickens me to the point of nausea that people could be so utterly rude. I pray none of you that are reading intend to do that. If you do then honestly, I think you should get down from your high horse and realize that while maybe you did not like the book, it doesn't mean that you have to be so completely callous and decide that you'll join a protest that quite simply says "We hate the book, and in turn, hate you, Stephenie", because it's downright inconsiderate. **_

_**Also, you've read the book, right? That's like taking back a pair of shoes you've already worn! And that's the least of my worries. I don't think that any of these people who are hating on Breaking Dawn are realizing that while Stephenie is trying to remain positive, it must be upsetting for her to read countless posts that people 'hate' her book that she's worked hard on. And, without sounding like a 'I HEART BREAKING DAWN' fangirl, I feel that those who are doing so are simply being childish brats. **_

**I think I've made that point clear.**


	29. Charms

**Disclaimer: "This is the book that I want, forget bout all them other books before, Twilight I'll ride for you, give up my life for you, the other books ain't the same, put yourself in my name, cause Twilight's the book that I want." "Yeah, but you still can't have me." Yeah, I don't own it.**

_**Author's note: **_** I hadn't realised what the date was, in the story! I've worked it out properly, by the way. Can you guys believe it – in the story, only twelve days have passed since Bella's change. I've written a handful of chapters since then! How O-M-G is that?! **

**So, I hope you enjoy this chapter, as it is the last. Only the Epilogue left! **

**This chapter is dedicated to the following, who reviewed last chapter. I am so grateful to all of you that have reviewed, but here are the little bunch who pushed me to 1005 REVIEWS! I am so ecstatic right now that I can barely breathe- literally!**

_**Amandantx, **__**reincarnatedcrazybutterfly **_**(Who I'd also like to thank for the little **_**Dissociative Identity Disorder **_**and **_**Dissociative Fugue**_** explanation, as I'm now going to use those in this chapter), **_**xXxJazRainexXx, LunarEclipse4, Angeliss, ecaniaga, Sarah307, StormysGirl11, barbiedoll123, xx-Doomkitten-XX, loveydove665, Bezzaletta, Coven Mistress, gemin, ange-twi-action, berrykool**__**, dorkiegrl2 **_**and**_**XoayannaoX12 **_**.**

* * *

They were talking about me.

I could hear them.

We'd been back in the house a grand total of 4 hours, 6 minutes and 38 seconds, and they were already discussing me.

"Any more news?" I heard Edward ask.

_Well, so far, this is what I've got. You bit Bella August 27th; she woke up on August 30th._

"Yes," Edward agreed.

_Did anything else transpire...apart from the obvious?_

"Nothing. Other than that which you were present for." They were aware I was listening, their thoughts were carefully guarded.

_Maybe it's a side effect from her lack of an appetite._

"Possible."

_And so, it has been..._ Carlisle did quick maths. _It has been only twelve days since her change! Maybe this is just because it is early on in her life?_

"It may not be that, Carlisle." Edward was always the pessimist.

_Well, it happens when she's overwhelmed, agreed?_

There was no answer, so I assumed Edward had nodded.

_And by her reaction during and after her 'black outs', I'm assuming that neither Bella is aware of the other's presence?_

"Not in the least."

_It could be __Dissociative Identity Disorder? _

"Have you ever heard of a vampire to have that?"

_No, but Bella's never been the average human, or vampire._

"I suppose so. But then you could say it's Dissociative Fugue, right?"

_I suppose so, yes. But I don't think it's that complicated. I still think it has something to do with him._

"What makes you so sure?"

_I don't know, Edward. I'd say it's probably the saliva mixing with the venom that's caused it. Maybe, the saliva was just a memory trigger? To create temporary amnesia? _

"Possibly."

_I will work this out Edward, I have to._

I didn't want to hear this. None of it made any sense, whatsoever! Saliva? Memory trigger? What were they rambling on about? And had all the Cullens taken psychology?

I looked for something else to do. Alice had sent me out of the living room- or, the dead room, as Emmett so lovingly nicknamed it – for unknown reasons. She told me not to look to the future, or she '_would have my head_'.

And Rosalie wouldn't tell me either!

I listened around the house, looking for some sort of a distraction.

Emmett was helping the girls...

Edward was with Carlisle...

Carlisle was with Edward...

Rose, Alice and Esme were with Emmett...

And Jasper was in his room.

* * *

"Jasper?" I knocked softly against the door.

"Yes?" I heard him growl.

I opened the door an inch. "Can I come in?"

"Why?" Was his curt answer.

"Jasper...you don't seem too good...I wanted to help..."

"And you have nothing else to do." He sighed. "Come in."

I opened the door and flew in.

Jasper was sitting in the right corner of the room, his back against the glass wall, with a much abused book in hand.

"What are you reading?" I asked, as I sat down fluidly opposite him. Whatever it was, it didn't look healthy.

"Wuthering Heights." A wistful smile appeared on his face.

"Is it any good?" The smile disappeared.

"I was so sure you'd remember." He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Here. Read it - it used to be your favourite. That's your book."

"As in, my human book?" I turned it around, flipping carelessly through the flimsy pages.

"Yes," he smiled again. "Every book in the house – it doesn't matter who's it is – goes into our library. And lo and behold, I find this and smell Bella Swan all over it."

I laughed. "I can't smell anything."

"Maybe it's too subtle for your freaky nose," he nudged me playfully. "Stick your nose in between the pages."

"Seriously?!" I asked, disbelieving.

"Utterly. Go for it."

I cautiously poked my nose in to the pages.

"What can you smell?" Jasper asked. I wondered how stupid I looked, with a broken-up book shoved over my face, and me sniffing away at it's pages to my heart's content.

"I can smell...paper...flowers? Freesia...roses?"

"That's about right. You used to smell like flowers, like freesias."

"Wow. I smelled nice."

"No kidding," he laughed.

"We're ready!" I heard a tinkling voice call from downstairs.

"Put that down," Jasper smiled. "You've got a surprise waiting for you."

"A what?"

Jasper pulled me up from the floor fluidly. "Wait and see. Can I cover your eyes?"

I shrugged. "As long as it doesn't involve any more Volturi members, sure, go ahead!"

Jasper smiled at me before he tied a long, silken, red ribbon around my eyes. I could see no silhouettes through it; my eyes were focused on the fibres of the material, silken threads dancing in front of me as we made our way down the stairs.

Then, I smelt someone- or several someones – who were unfamiliar.

"Jasper..." I mumbled. "Who's there? I don't recognize their scent..."

"She really doesn't remember!" A velvet voice called out in surprise.

"Shut up, Tanya!" Another female voice countered.

"Be quiet, the both of you!" A male voice, deeper in tone, berated them.

I had no idea who these people...though, obviously, vampires were!

"Okay...can you take the blindfold off, now? This is sort of intimidating..."

The velvet tones of vampires, friends and family alike, filled the room.

"Go ahead!" Alice trilled.

Jasper untied the ribbon; and the relief was instantaneous.

"I can see again!" I squealed jokingly.

My family stood in front of me, Jasper stepping out from behind me to join them. In amongst my family, were a group of...I counted quickly...five vampires with topaz eyes.

"Happy Birthday Bella!" Alice trilled.

No one joined in.

"Awh, guys! I thought we'd practised this!"

Everyone laughed.

"It's...my birthday?"

"Indeed it is; September 13th!"

"Wow!" I laughed. "How old am I?"

"Bella, you're frozen at 18." Emmett shook his head as though I were stupid.

"So, I'm nineteen?" I asked, ignoring Emmett.

"No, Bella," Emmett persisted. "You are _frozen_ at _eighteen_!"

"I know, Emmett. But this is my nineteenth birthday. Wow!"

"No, Bella, I don't think you're grasping the concept-" Rosalie hit Emmett upside the head again. "Ouch!"

"It's okay, Emmett. I understand." I smiled, trying not to laugh.

"Okay. Just making sure!" He looked so proud of himself that I had to turn away, for fear of laughing.

"So, who are you?" I asked the extension of my family.

"This, Bella, is the Denali Coven. Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen and Eleazar."

"Hi." _What an anticlimactic greeting_...I thought to myself. _Surely you could've come up with something better than that, Bella?_

"Hello, Bella." The voice I recognized to be Tanya greeted me. A tall, strawberry blonde female stepped forward and kissed my cheek. "I suppose you don't remember us."

"Nothing whatsoever, I'm sorry, Tanya."

She smiled. "No bother. It'll be a clean slate for us. I must say, immortality looks fabulous on you, Bella."

Her mind saw a young girl, with rosy cheeks, clinging to Jasper's side in the doorway of a house that Tanya recognized as her own. Bella.

The girl was easily recognizable, I had seen her in Edward and Alice's mind. And in a photo in Edward's room of a red-faced Bella clinging to Edward's side in the same fashion as she was doing to Jasper in Tanya's mind. Wow, she was clingy.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"Happy Birthday, from all of us." Eleazar smiled, his arm around Carmen, who had a little box in her hand, her arm outstretched towards me.

"Oh!" I gasped. "You shouldn't have!"

"But we did." Kate laughed.

"_Same old Bella,_"Esme giggled. "You never did want us to buy you anything!"

I carefully took the box from Carmen's outstretched hand, smiling gratefully.

I opened it, and inside was a charm – I assumed for a bracelet.

It was a tiny silver baby; its eyes were tiny crystals, facets glinting out at me. The detail in the little figure was intricate and perfect. Skin of silver, eyes of garnet, the features were beautiful, and clearly immortal.

A little immortal child. How beautiful!

"Thank you, ever so much!"

"We wanted to have some part in your bracelet. After all, we think ourselves as family." Tanya smiled.

So I was getting a bracelet? That didn't sound too expensive – that was good. I had nothing to return to the Cullens, why should they give me anything?

"Thank you ever so much, Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen, Eleazar." I smiled, hugging each of them in turn.

As I bent to hug Kate, she stopped me, and kissed my cheek.

"The power's a bonus." She smirked. "I'll show you how to use it, later."

"Thank you."

"Wow, that was a lot of names to get through!" Alice joked.

"It was our mother's." Tanya smiled. "We think she would have wanted you to have it."

I smiled and thanked her again. I had no inkling of what had happened with their mother, but she obviously was not alive – immortal or mortal.

_I'll tell you later_, Edward promised.

"Oh, and Bella?" Irina smiled. "I'll be taking your 'wedding' photos. Photography is my calling."

_She doesn't remember, she doesn't remember..._ I heard Irina chant in her head. How curious.

"Thank you, so much Irina." I smiled.

"Oh, me next, me next!" Alice squealed. I closed the Denali coven's box, and placed it carefully on the table.

Alice skipped forward with a similar box in hand. "Open it!"

I smiled at her and complied. Inside the box, was a high heeled shoe charm.

Figures.

"Thank you Alice!" I smiled, stepping forward to hug her.

"It's a promise for the future! We're going to go shopping every day!"

I was so glad to see Alice happy again. From the beginning, when I had known her, she had been a quiet and resigned girl, but now, something had changed in her – she was more alive. She was the Alice of my husband's memories.

"I can't wait."

_Yay!_ Alice mentally squealed. _Oh, she's so much less stubborn than human Bella!_

I stifled a smile.

"Me next, me next!" The second most excitable person in our family boomed. Emmett stepped forward with his box in hand.

"It's a bear. Cause I like them." He grinned.

"Thank you, Emmett." I smiled, hugging him.

"And that one's a dancing bear, but I like grizzlies. When we go hunting next, you can watch me take one down."

"Thanks, but no thanks." I smiled.

"No problem, squirt. Wait 'til you see me take one of those bad boys down!"

I giggled. He was quite adamant! "Sure thing, Em."

"This is mine and Carlisle's." Esme stepped forward, box in hand. "I guess, it's a two-parter, for lack of a better phrase."

It was a swan.

"For Bella Swan." I acknowledged.

"Yes. And that's just the first part. Bella, we know that you can control yourself perfectly well around humans...and so," she looked to Carlisle for encouragement. "We've arranged for you to go and see your father in a few weeks."

My smile faltered. "My father?"

I'd just realised that I had never, in all my time of being a vampire, asked about my parents. Did I have a brother? A sister? What about my mother? Was she dead? Why didn't Esme say my father _and_ mother?

"Don't you want to go?" Esme asked, looking a little worried.

"Of course, of course...I just realised I don't know anything about my family." I gave her a weak smile.

"We'll fill you in," she smiled back, hers stronger than mine. "And we'll go and see Renee and Phil," _your mother and step-father, _she supplied mentally. "not long after."

"Thank you Esme, Carlisle." My voice wavered. I stepped forward and engulfed them both in a huge hug.

Rosalie was next.

"I know it's not exactly intricate," she smiled. "But I wanted to let you know that you're the missing puzzle piece that this family has been waiting for all these years. You've fit perfectly, you've made us whole. And I for one couldn't imagine life without you."

I smiled. "Thanks Rosalie."

She produced a box containing a jigsaw piece charm. I stepped forward and hugged her tight.

"Thanks, Rose."

_It means more than that. You're the missing piece of my jigsaw too – my best friend._

I nodded, and smiled at her.

I was so glad at that moment that I couldn't cry, or I would be blubbering like I baby. I tried to keep my emotions in check; if I continued like this then everyone would be dry sobbing along with me.

Jasper stepped forward then, having been as quiet as a mouse the entire time.

"My turn."

He handed me a box matching to the rest, and inside was a little key.

I smiled. "Thank you, Jasper. Does it open anything in particular?"

He looked a little awkward, and his emotions portrayed his determination in deception. "I thought it'd look good on there," he laughed. "It doesn't open anything."

I laughed and hugged him. "Thank you."

He seemed caught off guard; his emotions were emanating surprise.

Then his arms tightened around me and I felt him inhale. "You're welcome." Jasper stepped back, inclining his head.

Edward was last. "I've got something old and new for you, dear."

I smiled. "You didn't have to. You've already given me enough."

"But, he did..." Tanya rolled her eyes a little.

Edward ignored her, bringing out a bigger box than the rest.

The bracelet.

He opened the box for me, and tugged out a sterling silver bracelet. To my surprise, there were already two charms on there.

I held out my hand.

The silver linked bracelet fell into my palm, the metal hot against my cool hand.

"It's beautiful..." I gasped, looking at the diamond heart, and wooden wolf.

"It was yours." Edward added. "Yours, from when you were human." I could see him warring with himself – he wanted to say something else. "Jacob gave it to you, for graduation. He made the wolf himself."

"Oh," I breathed, picking up the tiny wooden wolf in my hands and examining the detail. I suddenly became all too aware that I could crush it just by twisting my fingers. I let it fall. "Put it on for me?"

Edward unclasped the bracelet and put it around my left wrist.

"Thank you. All of you. So much." I would have been crying, if I could have.

"There's one more thing, Bella. Listen."

Edward was showing me something with his thoughts. He placed his hands on my temples.

_We're in our meadow,_ Edward informed me.

We had a meadow?!

"_You already know how I feel, of course," Bella was talking. "I'm here...which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you." She frowned; Edward had taken care to notice each crease in the lines that appeared as she made the gesture. "I'm an idiot."_

"_You are an idiot," Edward agreed. Bella's eyes met his, and she laughed, too. _

"_And so the lion fell in love with the lamb..." Edward murmured. Bella's heartbeat increased and she looked away, the corners of her mouth turning up in a hidden smile._

"_What a stupid lamb," she sighed._

"_What a sick, masochistic lion." He turned away,_ and his memory ended.

"So, I was your lamb, huh?" I smiled, leaning into his touch. He moved his hands from my temples to my shoulders.

"Yes," he smiled. "My little fragile lamb."

"Okay, just give her the damn charm!" Emmett boomed. "I wanna see if we can get Bella to eat some cake!"

"Okay," Edward laughed. "And so, that is the reason, for this." He held out another box.

I took it happily.

"Someone's a little greedy," I joked. "Two charms? That's a bit drastic!"

He smiled. "I'm meant to be the most important man in your life, least you could do is have both representations of me."

I opened the box.

It was a silver charm of a lion and a lamb.

"I love you." I murmured, closing the box and pressing my lips to his.

And I did. In that moment, I knew he was the one that would always have a part of me, wherever I went, whatever I did. And I would have the same for him.

"I love you too."

"Okay okay, that's all fine and dandy, now get those charms on her. I want to see Bella eating some cake!" Emmett persisted, booming out over the house, and while effectively ruining the moment, made me even happier.

It wouldn't be right if Emmett wasn't here. It wouldn't be right if my _family_ wasn't here.

I smiled at them, as Edward began clipping the charms onto my bracelet. "Okay, Emmett. I'll eat some cake."

"Yahoo!" Emmett boomed, running up the stairs. "Rose, you get the cake, I'll get the camera! I want to have the moment she spits it out on tape!"

And as we all laughed – well, apart from me – I knew that this was exactly right.

* * *

**Because I love you guys, the epilogue will be up ASAP!**

**To find pictures of the charms from this chapter, and the clothes from the last, go onto my profile and click up my fanfiction site! :D**


	30. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing but the plot& a few characters, namely Elizabeth. Gotta love that girl!**

**And, the last Author's Note in Avaritia. **

**Chapter 30, the Epilogue...another ending...! Haa, well yes, I guess this is the ending for a lot of you – those of you who won't be continuing with Superbia. I honestly can say, I am going to miss you guys A LOT – you've all been so supportive. But, after I've finished Superbia, I'll be back with loads more, I promise :) So please, stick me on Alert, and check in now and again with me? :D**

**Those of you who are continuing, check my profile. You should find the preface of Superbia is already there :)**

* * *

"Ouch, Alice!" I protested, as she poked me in the eye with the mascara wand.

"It didn't hurt, Bella – you're indestructible!"

"Sure, sure," I argued back. "You're just lucky my venom didn't incinerate your precious mascara wand!"

Alice chuckled. "It would take longer than the sixteenth of a second to melt my wand!"

"Do you want to find out?" I threatened jokingly.

"No, ma'am!" She giggled, lining my eyes with a dark brown eye-liner.

Rosalie flew into the room holding the curling tongs. "Ready for your hair done, Bella?"

I nodded.

"Are you guys recreating the entire look from my wedding day?" I asked.

"Just about!" Rose giggled.

Rosalie and Alice fluttered around my hair and face for a while, before standing back to admire their work.

_She looks almost human. _

_Edward will love it._

I looked human? I spun around to examine myself in the mirror.

There was a light blush in my cheeks – false, of course, but beautiful nonetheless. My eyes stood out, bewitchingly dark against my alabaster skin. I looked like an enchantress.

"I look gorgeous!" I exclaimed. "Thanks girls!"

"No problemo. Go get into your dress, we need to get ready." Rose ushered me out of the room.

* * *

And so, that was how I was sitting in Alice and Jasper's room in my old wedding lingerie – a silk corset, done up so tight that it was lucky I didn't need to breathe, and stockings. And heels. And I was sitting there, wondering where on earth my dress was, and when I found it, how on earth I would get into it, when Jasper walked in.

"Alice- Oh. Bella!"

"Hey. You don't happen to know where my wedding dress is, do you?"

"Er..er, no, sorry." He looked a little awkward, wanting to flit from one side of the room to the other.

"You look nice," I acknowledged. "Very suave!"

He laughed. "Thanks. You look beautiful."

"Of course you would say that," I laughed. "I'm the naked girl sitting on your bed!"

"Not completely naked..." he countered, eyeing me up and down.

"Jasper, when you talk to Alice, please ask her where my wedding dress is. She's not listening to me."

He nodded. "Sure thing."

He came out of the bathroom two minutes later.

"It's in our wardrobe. I'll get it for you."

He opened Alice's expansive wardrobe, and stepped into the room that was bigger than Emmett's Jeep. Right at the back, there was an empty rack. Jasper sauntered over to it.

"It's empty." I protested.

Jasper put his hand to the side panel, and slid it back. Out came my wedding dress.

"Wow." I breathed. "It's beautiful." I eyed the ribbons at the back. "And complicated."

"That's what I said first time round," Jasper laughed. "I'll help you in."

"Oh, would you? Thank you so much Jasper!"

He shrugged. "No sweat."

Jasper undid the corset back carefully, and lifted the dress over my head. Once it was over my head, he began tightening the ribbons.

"You looked fabulous on your wedding day, did you know that?"

"I've been told," I smiled, turning as he tied the bow at the bottom of my back. "How do I look?" I spun around.

"Ravishing. Edward won't be able to keep his eyes off you."

"I guess that sucks for you, huh?" I laughed. Jasper'd be dying from those emotions!

"Pretty much." I felt his emotions sinking a little.

"Jasper..." I began. I knew he wasn't one to let his emotions out, but I needed to know. "Are you going to be alright? With Alice, and everything?"

"Bella. I'm going to live for_ever_. I think Alice and I will sort out our quarrels by then."

He was putting on a brave face, I could tell. But, he would eventually sort everything out with her.

At least, while we took the pictures.

"Bella?" I heard Rose trill, as Alice called for Jasper.

"In here." I said, keeping my voice at a normal level.

"Oh Bella, you look fantastic!" Rose exclaimed.

_What are they doing in here together?_ I heard Alice thinking.

"Jasper helped me find and put on my dress – because you guys were too busy!" I laughed, clearing things up. "Ready to go downstairs?"

"Yup!" Alice put her arm in Jasper's, and I gave Jasper a cheeky smile that said, 'See, everything will be fine!'

Rose put her arm around mine in the same fashion and we walked downstairs together.

"Okay now Bella," Alice said from in front of us, "the corridor is your aisle. Work that wedding march!"

I burst out laughing – so much so that Rosalie got bored and carried me down the stairs.

"Good Lord! Is she alright? Did she black out again?" Carlisle's frantic voice was right by my ear.

"No, I'm fine Carlisle. Alice was just unintentionally funny."

"Oh, good." He smiled.

"Are we ready, then?" Edward was at the top of the stairs. Rosalie set me down and I turned around to face him.

And I was lost for words. Never had I seen a vision like him, his skin alabaster against the dark of his suit, his bronze hair in it's usual disarray, stepping down the stairs with eyes of liquid gold. "Wow," I breathed.

"I could say the same for you." He smiled, floating down toward me and engulfing me in his embrace, his sweet scent filling my head as he pressed his lips to mine.

_Click._

"Sorry," Esme giggled as we looked up. "It looked a little too cute not to be caught on film. Irina's ready in the back yard. Coming?"

We nodded, but neither of us moved.

Edward nuzzled at my neck. "I can see why Rose and Emmett have so many weddings, now,"

"And why is that?" I was breathless, I sounded like an awestruck teen after her favourite rock star had just accidentally stood on her foot.

"Nothing compares to you in that outfit..." He rested his forehead against mine. "Apart from you out of it."

I felt myself go weak at the knees. "Let's get out of here, or we'll never get these pictures taken."

* * *

"Say cheese!" Emmett called from behind the Denali coven.

I laughed; Irina pressed the shutter button.

"Oh, that's my favourite of us, definitely!" Alice squealed.

And I had to agree, it was fabulous. I was laughing and looking down, Rose was looking at me and Alice was smiling gently, her eyes a little unfocused. Obviously having the vision that would show her the outcome of the picture.

"Do you want one with the _best_ men, now, Bella?" Irina asked.

_She doesn't remember, for God's sake Irina, keep it together! _She hissed at herself.

"Erm, yes, please."

"Hey, wait a second," Emmett interrupted. "I was the vicar!"

"Emmett, just stand with Bella," Edward laughed.

Jasper and Emmett took one of my arms each on Irina's command.

"Can I say cheese?" Emmett asked.

"No, Emmett. Just smile." Jasper was a little tense.

We smiled.

"Just me and the Jelly Belly if you don't mind, Jazz. You can have her next." Emmett boomed.

Jasper moved lithely out of frame, and Emmett wrapped his arms around me. "Smile like you mean it!"

I smiled, and Emmett hoisted me up in to the air.

"Emmett!" I protested, waving my arms as the camera flashed continuously. "Put me down!"

"Okay, okay," he relented, setting me on my feet, and posing for a nice picture. I was wary of his arms tightening around me, though.

"Okay? Done?" He asked Irina slyly. She nodded. "GOLD! Thank you so much, Irina. I owe you one."

"Why?" I asked cautiously. Curiosity killed the Bella, I guess.

"He wanted pictures of you waving your hands in the air in your wedding dress so he can put them in his 'Funny Photos of Bella' Album." Irina answered, embarrassed. "It actually exists, by the way." She saw my eyebrow raising. "I've seen it."

"God dammit Emmett!" I screeched.

"Sorry sista'!" He winked. The Cullens stayed silent as the Denali coven laughed; they knew I would have their heads if they did so.

Jasper came to my side. "Don't worry about the pictures," he whispered in my ear. "We'll burn them."

I smiled. "Emmett, you can keep them." And I would get them later.

Emmett grinned and shuffled out of the frame so that it was just Jasper and I, standing in front of the almost-unreal looking trees. Jasper stood stoic next to me.

"Put some kind of an effort in, Jasper. Can you wrap your arms around her?" Irina asked kindly.

_Oh Good Lord._ Jasper swore in his mind as he wrapped his arms around me.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You 'kay?"

"Sure, Bella. Now smile." I turned to the camera and smiled.

"Okay, Carlisle, Esme, do you want one with Bella and the boys?"

"I want one of the entire family!" Rose said, enthusiastic for once.

"Sure, sure," I smiled. "Everyone get in then."

Each Cullen clamoured into the picture, Jasper and I in the middle, flanked by Edward, Carlisle and Emmett, and Rosalie, Esme and Alice on the other side. It was beautiful.

"Irina, has that thing got a self timer?" I asked curiously.

"Of course!" She answered, as though it'd be an insult if there weren't.

"Get in, then." I smiled at them all.

And with that, the Cullens and their extended family had a group wedding shot. Thankfully, the Denali girls dressed anything but casual - hats and all.

It was mine and Edward's turn last. Carlisle and Esme took a picture with us first, and then it was our turn.

Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I leaned into his embrace.

Suddenly, after waiting all day, the clouds left a break in the sky for the sun to come through.

And we sparkled.

I had never seen anything like it. My skin looked like there were diamonds embedded in it. I raised my left arm to the sunlight, and the facets of the heart Edward had given me glistened.

But it paled in comparison to us.

"Smile, Bella!" Alice trilled, from beside Irina.

I smiled.

I felt Edward's lips press into my hair, and the camera flashed.

Our family watched on as the last picture was taken, and one emotion out of the bundle that assaulted me now rang true for myself.

I was happy.

And I may not remember what had happened in my human life, and truthfully, this life was far from perfect. But I knew, with Edward, my love, by my side, I could accomplish anything; I could do anything I wished.

And I would.

* * *

**Thank you all so much for joining me on this journey - wow, how hokey does that sound? But seriously, thank you all for your support. I honestly can't even begin to show you guys how much it means to me. Thank you all so much.**


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